Why Katie Holmes Needed to Beat Tom Cruise to the Courthouse

Explains why it was so important for Katie Holmes to file for divorce before Tom Cruise so that she could get sole custody of Suri.

How a Collaborative Divorce in Virginia Beach May Benefit You

For your divorce in Virginia Beach, a collaborative divorce may be the right choice for you. Contact a Virginia Beach collaborative divorce firm –757-425-5200.

Family Mediation May be a Good Choice During Your Virginia Divorce

A Virginia divorce and child custody lawyer can help with family mediation, a gentler process, if you’re getting divorced in Virginia. – 757-425-5200.

3 Things to Know About Collaborative Divorce in Virginia

If you’re facing a Virginia divorce and you want a peaceful alternative to traditional litigation, collaborative divorce may be for you. Call 757-425-5200.

Dealing with a Stalemate during Collaborative Divorce

Learn how to deal with a stalemate during the collaborative divorce process. Protect yourself and what’s important to you – get this FREE Virginia divorce guide. The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer Family Law Firm represent women only. – 757-425-5200

Working Towards Favorable Child Custody Arrangements

If you are considering divorce, you should know your options. If you have children or shared assets with your spouse, you must get this FREE divorce guide for women in Virginia. It is also important to have an experienced Virginia divorce attorney on your side. Hofheimer Family Law Firm represents Virginia women only - (757) 425-5200.

Putting Children First In Alternative Litigation

Navigating a Virginia divorce and child custody hearing is a difficult process. If you are going through a Virginia divorce and have children or shared assets with your spouse, it is important to have an experienced Virginia divorce attorney on your side. The Virginia divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm represent Virginia women - (757) 425-5200.

How Alternative Litigation can Help Child Custody in Virginia

If you are a Virginia woman who wants to avoid the trauma and stress that is associated with a traditional Virginia divorce process, consider a collaborative divorce. A Virginia collaborative divorce is essentially a no-court divorce that allows you to have more control over your divorce and your future. Contact the Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer Family Law Firm to get started on your collaborative divorce today – (757) 425-5200.

Advantages of Mediation for Women

You may be wondering what the advantages of mediation are for women. If you are going through a Virginia divorce and have children or shared assets with your spouse, it is important to have an experienced Virginia divorce attorney on your side. The Virginia Beach divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm represent women only. Contact us today to set up a legal consultation - (757) 425-5200.

Mediation in Virginia Divorces Involving Children

If you are going through a Virginia divorce and have children or shared assets with your spouse and are considering mediation, it is important to have an experienced Virginia divorce attorney on your side. The Virginia Beach divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm represent women only. Contact us today to set up a legal consultation - (757) 425-5200.

Virginia Collaborative Divorce Guidelines

Have you and your husband decided to pursue a Virginia collaborative divorce? An attorney with experience in collaborative divorce can guide you through the process. The Virginia divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm represent Virginia women in traditional and collaborative divorce proceedings.

What Is a Collaborative Divorce Coach?

Collaborative divorce coaches can help you cope with your emotions and improve communicate during this emotional time. If you have found yourself in a divorce situation, the Virginia divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm can help you to decide if a Virginia collaborative divorce is your best option. Our attorneys represent Virginia women.

Differences between Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce

Are you trying to decide if divorce mediation or collaborative divorce is right for you? The Virginia Beach divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm represent women only. Contact us today to set up a legal consultation - (757) 425-5200.

Choosing a Virginia Collaborative Divorce Attorney

Are you looking for an experienced Virginia attorney to represent you in a collaborative divorce? The Virginia Beach divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm represent women only. Contact us today to set up a legal consultation - (757) 425-5200.

What is a Virginia Collaborative Divorce?

Getting divorced doesn’t mean that you have to go through an ugly divorce trial. A Virginia collaborative divorce allows a couple to settle the terms of their divorce agreement without having a judge make the decision for them.

Divorce Teams active in Virginia Beach Va according to Virginia Divorce Attorney, Charlie Hofheimer

Who is on your divorce team and why are they there? "Team"? "Who said anything about a divorce team"? you ask. 

Yep, You have a divorce team whether you like it or not. The real question is whether they are helping you or hurting you. No question they think they are helping you and you probably think so too. After all, your mom would do nothing to hurt you and neither would your best two friend's in the whole world, Suzy Q and Sissy. But Mom, Suzy Q and Sissy are not experts about divorce or custody and Sissy and Suzy Q will protect your actions, sometimes even when you are wrong. So, while your team may be very loyal and very caring--They may be steering you or supporting you in the wrong way.

Let's see what a divorce team looks like. Most smart women have as part of their divorce team a therapist, a financial planner and an attorney. The Therapist is not because you are going crazy (though you feel as if you might). The therapist is to acknowlege what are regular healthy reactions to divorce and what may constitute unhealthy responses. Unhealthy does not imply a judgement that you are doing something wrong, it is acknowledging a suffering that needs to be addressed. Your therapist may also be a key partner in helping you learn the language of how to express thoughts in a way to achieve positive responses or actions.Your therapist is always an outlet when the pressure or stress rises to an intolerable level. 

Your financial planner serves two roles. One is to help you work on the now so you can properly address current needs . Often your financial person is helping you develop strategies to develop a positive cash flow. The second role of your planner is to help you lay out your future taking into account present assets and future goals.  You have to know where you want to go into order to plan the trip to get there. Lastly your financial person can help you with mortgages, refinance, taxes, financing a car, all the tasks that arise as life moves on.

Your attorney has an obvious role to help you complete the legal process of your divorce. There is another role they should play. Really good divorce attorneys will help you with the long term planning as to your lif'e's direction. Teaching clients how to  turn this time of transition into a reinvention of one's self so that you can pursue a life's passion is the hallmark of a great member of your team. Divorce teams--You gotta have one--and make it a great team for you !

Divorce Declutter -- Peter Walsh on Oprah XMRadio hosts Stacy Kaiser and Jean Chatzky (By Mary Elizabeth Davis)

Peter Walsh's radio show on Oprah and Friends was about clutter and divorce this weekend.  He gave great tips on how to declutter and to focus on your future as you move forward through the transition of divorce.   Guest Stacy Kaiser spoke of the four F's as you shape your post-divorce life:  Friends, Finances, Feelings, and Future.

Friends -- Develop your network of good friends to help support you emotionally.  Know who you can rely on to be there for you.

Finances -- Make decisions about which assets to keep from a non-emotional place.  The family home may be too expensive for you to maintain; you might be better off selling the home and taking a larger share of retirement assets.

Feelings -- Focus on how you are feeling.  Get help from a counselor or therapist to help you get through this difficult time.

Future -- Use the divorce to focus on how you want your life to be.  (As Oprah says, live your best life.)

Peter Walsh added a fifth F, for Fun.  I agree.  It's important to have good self-care and some enjoyment.

Guest Jean Chatzky spoke about the financial aspects of divorce.  One of her main points is that women must strive to have assets in their own names.  She stated how important it is to get legal advice prior to making decisions.  Ms. Chatzky also gave a strong recommendation for collaborative law as a way for the parties to reach resolutions without "banging heads."

You can listen to a clip from the radio show here:
http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/Divorce-Declutter-Audio

How to Divorce and not wreck the Kids was subject of same name documentary last night !

Three Canadians got divorced last night on television in a one hour documentary (see clips at http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/doczone/  ) The reason for their ever so public divorce ? They wanted to show us that they could separate without destroying their kids.

An astonishing statistic : Only 5% of couples actually sit down and discuss with their children their separation and what it means to their children. Even seasoned divorce and custody lawyers like me are surprised from time to time and the five percent number blew me away. I am told  the 5% number is as true in Virginia as it is in Canada.

Knowing you would be in the 5% that sits down with your children, Tell your divorcing friends to do the same. Their children deserve to know about their  future.

New Collaborative Divorce Website Launched

Be sure to visit our new website:
www.CollaborativeDivorceLaw.com

Starting in 1990, Stu Webb and a group of professionals in Minnesota decided that families were so harmed by divorce litigation, they created a new process where families would have minimum contact with the court. Today, with the help of legal, financial and mental health professionals, families now have the option of inteligently working through their divorce peacefully. The advantage of collaboration over all other forms of divorce is the ability of each spouse to have professional guidance as the negotiation process is occuring and each spouse knowing that the process is fully transparent. There are no secrets or hidden agendas.

To learn more about collaborative divorce visit: 
www.VirginiaCollaborativeDivorceAttorney.com

Oprah Magazine's Suze Orman Recommends Collaborative Divorce

Suze Orman's October advice column in Oprah magazine touches on the costs of divorce for couples.  Orman recommended collaboration (or collaborative divorce) as a way for couples to "divorce with dignity."  Collaborative divorce allows for parties to create their own solutions regarding spousal support, division of property, child custody and other issues facing couples as they separate.  The parties explore what each person envisions as his or her post-divorce life and consider different possible solutions with their attorneys (and sometimes other professionals such as financial planners and mental health professionals).  The group works together dynamically to assist the family members reach individual and family goals.

Rather than having individuals getting locked into positions, everyone agrees to consider what each person's interests are.  Simply put, rather than saying, "I have to have the Volvo (positional negotiation)," a person would say, "I need safe transportation for me and the children (interest-based negotiation)."

Collaboration is often exemplified by a fictional argument between a brother and sister over the last remaining orange in the fruit bowl.  Each asks the parent for it, simply saying he or she wants the orange (positional negotiation).  A simplistic approach would be to either split the orange or to flip a coin.  A collaborative approach would ask each child why each wants the orange.  If we find that one needs the rind to make a cake, and the other wants to eat the orange, each child can have his or her interests met by a creative division of the orange.  Simplistic, positional thinking would not allow for either child to have his or her interests met.  Interest based negotiation allows for each to be satisfied.

Ask your attorney about collaborative divorce as an alternative to contested litigation.  You can also learn more about collaboration at www.collaborativedivorce.com.