How should I communicate with my husband during our Virginia divorce?

 

A: In the long and short of it: careful communication is important during the course of your divorce. Communicating with your spouse during a divorce is a challenge. It can be very difficult to navigate the relationship during and after a Virginia divorce.

You may want to cut off communication entirely, but this is not realistic, especially if you have children together. When communicating with your spouse during a divorce, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Written Communication 

If you communicate with your spouse during a divorce by email or mail, you have some advantages. You are able to say exactly what you want and keep hard copies for yourself. Don't forget that any written communication can be used in your Virginia divorce case or child custody agreement, among other things. Try to keep emotion out of your communication and stick to basic information in your letter or email.

Verbal Communication

In verbal communication, either over the phone or in person, the biggest benefit you have is a real-time conversation. You can get your spouse's response to a request right away. If you and your ex have a civil relationship, this might be a good option. It will save you the time of waiting for an email reply or a letter in the mail.

The downside to verbal communication is that you actually have to speak with your ex, so if you have a tumultuous relationship, perhaps it is best to avoid this option during your Virginia divorce.

Third Party Communication

For couples who really struggle with each other during a Virginia divorce, direct communication may not be an option. You may have to communicate through a third party, such as your Virginia Beach divorce attorney. The advantage of this is that you can avoid your spouse entirely. The bad news is that it is an expensive option.

Try to communicate directly with your spouse for smaller issues, like picking up the kids from school, and save the bigger problems (financial woes and division of property) for your attorney.

If you are involved in a Virginia divorce and are having trouble communicating with your spouse, keep your emotions out of the picture. Try some different forms of communication to see what works best for you.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia Beach divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a complimentary copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce is full of thoughtful steps and practical tips that will help you during your separation, divorce, or child custody case including:

-- 20 guidelines for "separation under the same roof"

-- 13 critical factors used to determine spousal support

-- 3 types of property classification recognized by Virginia courts

-- 10 factors your judge must consider in a contested custody case

-- a formula to determine your percentage share of his retirement benefits

-- 38 Financial Records you should be aware of

-- 20 steps to prepare for divorce

-- 7 stages of divorce

-- 40 age-appropriate books about divorce for children

Get Your FREE Copy Today!

Charles R. Hofheimer View lawyer's profile

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