Q What are some of the potential effects of my husband's infidelity (and our subsequent Virginia divorce) on my children and are there any ways to minimize the impact?
AYour husband's infidelity and your subsequent Virginia divorce can have a strong impact on your children because it will upset the normal rhythms of family life and inevitably lead to strife between you and your spouse.
Many people assume, when they first begin an affair, that it will not affect their life or their family. They may honestly believe that they will be able to be discreet enough to keep their activities secret. In reality, it rarely works out that way.
Adultery has a way of taking over a person's life little by little until their time, money, and attention increasingly go to their paramour. This is the first way in which your husband's adultery can affect your children. He may not be able to give them the quality time and loving attention that he did before.
Worse yet, he may actually begin using them to cover for his actions. Kids can end up being unwilling conspirators in their parent's adultery, which is a confusing and painful position for any child.
The discovery of the adultery is also difficult for kids, because of the drama that tends to accompany it. They may feel to blame for their parents' troubles, or may lose their feeling of safety and stability. These fears may continue long after your Virginia divorce is finalized.
To minimize the effects of your husband's adultery on your children, you should try to offer them as much security and love as you can. Avoid giving in to loud fights and ugly scenes in your children's presence, and seek out the services of a professional family counselor who works well with kids. In addition, by hiring a Virginia divorce attorney to help during your proceedings, you'll be able to focus on your children and help them move forward.
Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney
The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.
A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer Family Law Firm can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.