Virginia Divorce Lawyer Blog | Hofheimer/Ferrebee, P.C.

How the Use of Smartphones Can Affect Your Virginia Divorce Case

Thu, 17 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Technology is supposed to help, but in a divorce case, it can hurt you. We often use our smartphones in everyday life – to email and text, surf the Internet, make calls and update social media. But because your phone can remember your activities, it can be a record of your actions. These records can be used against you during aVirginia divorce case.

According to the AmericanAcademyof Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), more than 90% of lawyers have seen an increase in the use of smartphones in divorce cases. Smartphones are especially helpful in accusing a spouse of adultery. An estranged spouse may get a hold of the other spouse’s cell phone and look through text messages and call histories to reveal messages to members of the opposite sex.

But will evidence on a smartphone hold up in court? This may depend on your divorce lawyer and their stance on using phones, but for the most part, yes. Smartphones are considered written records of someone’s thoughts and actions, as if they were written down in a journal. Many spouses are also using Facebook, including status updates as evidence in their divorce cases. In addition, estranged spouses also can use the cameras on their smartphones to take photos of their spouses caught in the act.

If you have questions about how smartphones can help or hurt your divorce case inVirginia, you need an experienced divorce lawyer. Contact the law office of Hofheimer/Ferrebee today at 1-757-425-5200.

Splitting Joint Retirement Funds After Divorce

Wed, 16 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

After a divorce in Virginia, one of the assets that will need to be divided are the retirement accounts that you or your ex-spouse may have. Discuss your finances with a divorce lawyer to make sure this is done correctly to prevent tax problems and major headaches in the future.

The first thing you will need is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. A QDRO is a court order that allows you to receive a percentage or your ex-spouse’s retirement fund. Basically, you will become a beneficiary of his account; however, it is important to remember that because you will have the rights to this money, it will be your responsibility to pay taxes on it. Your divorce lawyer can answer any questions you have about this. The QDRO also will allow your ex-spouse to take his share of the money and roll it over to another account.

Your divorce lawyer will set up the QDRO by adding special language to the divorce papers, such as your name and mailing address, the plans to be split, the amount or percentage to be distributed, and the benefits period. Other details should be discussed with a tax professional because your divorce lawyer may be unaware of them.

If you are going through a divorce inVirginiaand have questions about retirement funds and other financial topics, you need a qualified divorce lawyer. Contact the law office of Hofheimer/Ferrebee today. They are a firm of experienced family law attorneys that can help you with your divorce. Call today at 1-757-425-5200.

Father's Day Specials and Events in Virginia Beach

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Make Dad’s day special by hitting up these family-friendly events in Virginia Beach:

The Kempsville Greens Golf Course (4840 Princess Anne Road - Virginia Beach, VA 23464) will be holding a Father’s Day golf tournament on Friday, June 15 at 8 a.m. for $60 per person.

Take Dad to rock out to the Dave Matthews Band at Farm Bureau Live (3550 Cellar Door Way – Virginia Beach, VA 23456) on Sunday, June 17. Tickets start at $63.00.

Dad can enjoy the arts at the Boardwalk Art Show and Festival on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk June 14-17.

Cool Off with Summertime Smoothies!

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Nothing is more refreshing on a hot summer day than an ice-cold smoothie. Check out these simple, but tasty, ideas you can try this season.
Lemon Berry Smoothie:
1 6-ounce container of low-fat lemon yogurt
1 20-ounce can of crush pineapple, drained
1 16-ounce can of blackberries, drained
1 cup of crushed ice
Place all ingredients in the blender and blend until smooth.

Peach and Almond OJ Smoothie:
1 cup of cold orange juice
1 cup of frozen peaches
1 frozen banana
2 tbsp. slivered almonds
Place all ingredients in blender and blend until smooth.
Take advantage of fruits that are in season and switch up these recipes to see what your family likes best!

Four Fast and Easy House Cleaning Tips

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

A clean home is a happy home, but finding time to pick up isn’t always easy. Try these four fast and easy housecleaning tips to keep your home sparkling in between deep cleans.
1. Make your bed – This is one of the easiest and fastest ways to make a room look neat and tidy (even if the sheets are dirty!).
2. Clean while you get ready. While you are getting ready in the bathroom, put away all the product bottles and wipe down the sink and mirror before you leave.
3. Set a day to clean. Pick a day of the week that works for you and spend 30 minutes picking up and cleaning as much as you can in that amount of time. Leave the rest for heavy-duty days.
4. Fix it right away. Make a rule for yourself to put that dish away as soon as you dirty it or fold the laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer.

The Power of Gratitude: Learn to Appreciate the Small Stuff

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

When you’re knee-deep in a pile of dirty laundry or your household is suffering through its second bout of a cold this month – it can seem hard, or even impossible, to see the good in a situation. However, doing so can have positive benefits on your home, lifestyle and even health. Here’s how to get started.

Every time you find yourself grumbling about the long line at the store or your co-worker’s laziness, stop and think of 4 or 5 things related to the issue for which you are thankful or grateful. The more you remind yourself of positive things, the easier it will be to change your attitude.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you only focus on people around you who have more, you’ll miss out on what you actually do have. Turning your focus inward will allow you to see your life more clearly.

Keep a gratitude journal in which you write down things that you are grateful for each day. It can something as simple as a good meal or something more meaningful, like your relationship with your kids. Taking time to recognize the great things in your life will encourage you to appreciate them more.

By actively turning your attention and thoughts to positive things in your life, you can make a permanent optimistic change in your outlook that can benefit you and your family for the rest of your life.

5 Positive Habits to Keep Your Work Environment Productive

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

No matter what field in which you work, it can be easy to get bogged down in the daily grind. Finding ways to reenergize, stay positive and remain focused can make you more productive and help you actually enjoy what you do. So how do you do it? These 5 tips can keep you positive and productive when trudging through the work week.

Surround yourself with positive people – Every workplace has the office grouch, gossip and brownnoser. Avoid getting caught up in their negativity; instead, seek out co-workers who have an optimistic outlook.

Stay stimulated – It can be easy to feel like a zombie or robot after staring at a computer screen for hours on end. Make it a point to get up at least once every hour – stretch, go outside or have a snack.

Ask yourself the right questions – After a particularly challenging project or experience, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” instead of what “Why did this happen to me?” By focusing on what you can improve, you will increase your productivity and work product.

Accept what you can and cannot change – By recognizing and accepting early on what facets of your job you can control and what you simply must deal with, you can transfer your energy to more important matters that can be resolved.

Be Kind to Others – Committing acts of kindness not only makes you feel better, but it also can improve the morale of the entire office. Remember that everyone at work is on the same team and you should work together.

Trust: How to Build a Strong Foundation

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Whether you’re just starting out in a new relationship or starting over after a breakup, trust is fundamental. It can be daunting prospect to let someone in to your life, but it can be done. Try these exercises with your partner to get on your way to a trusting and strong relationship.

Trust Walk - Have your partner guide you on a walk through a room with lots of 'obstacles' (toys, furniture, etc.) placed on the floor. Let your partner guide you with speech and touch.

Fall Back - Stand approximately a foot in front of your partner and fall back into his or her arms. The challenge of this exercise is to attempt to let go of fear and trust your partner while doing it.

Open Yourself Up - Share a secret or fact with your partner that is hard to share with anyone else or you feel is embarrassing.

It’s All in the Eyes - Stand face to face and stare into each others' eyes with no smiling or laughing for 60 seconds or as long as you can stand to. This exercise can create a sense of closeness and trust without ever actually touching.

You might feel silly at first, but you will find that these exercises can be great jumping-off point for discussion and other experiences that will deepen your trust.

10-Minute Workouts that Work

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Bikini season is right around the corner, and if you don’t have the time to work out you may be panicking – don’t! Here are two easy, 10-minute workouts you can squeeze in anytime to get yourself beach ready.
Option 1:

Walk up and down a flight of stairs at varying paces for 2 minutes.
Do jumping jacks for 2 minutes.
Jog in place for 3 minutes.
Do regular or modified push-ups for 1 minute.
Walk slowly to cool down for 2 minutes.

Option 2:

Put on loud, upbeat music and dance around for 3 minutes (about the length of a normal song).
Jump rope for 2 minutes.
Skip (yes, just like when you were a kid) around the neighborhood or back in forth in a room for 2 minutes.
Finish off with another 3-minute dance session.

Make Father's Day Fun Without Breaking the Bank

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Make Dad feel special without blowing your budget this Father’s Day with these fun and frugal ideas. Remember, a little creativity goes a long way!

Custom Golf Balls – Buy an inexpensive box of golf balls and let your kids personalize them with permanent markers and paint.

Make his lunch special. If Dad brings lunch to work every day, you can treat him to a week of special lunches by packing him his favorite sandwich or a sweet treat you baked.

Clean His Car. Most dads are the ones who get car-washing duty around the house. Give him a day off and wash the outside and inside of his ride.

How the Use of Smartphones Can Affect Your Divorce Case

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Technology is supposed to help, but in a divorce case, it can hurt you. We often use our smartphones in everyday life – to email and text, surf the Internet, make calls and update social media. But because your phone can remember your activities, it can be a record of your actions. These records can be used against you during a divorce case, with the permission of your divorce lawyer.

According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), more than 90% of lawyers have seen an increase in the use of smartphones in divorce cases. Smartphones are especially helpful in accusing a spouse of adultery. An estranged spouse may get a hold of the other spouse’s cell phone and look through text messages and call histories to reveal messages to members of the opposite sex.

But will evidence on a smartphone hold up in court? This may depend on your divorce lawyer and their stance on using phones, but for the most part, yes. Smartphones are considered written records of someone’s thoughts and actions, as if they were written down in a journal. Many spouses are also using Facebook, including status updates as evidence in their divorce cases. In addition, estranged spouses also can use the cameras on their smartphones to take photos of their spouses caught in the act.

If you have questions about how smartphones can help or hurt your divorce case in Virginia, you need an experienced divorce lawyer. Contact the law office of Hofheimer/Ferrebee today at 1-757-425-5200.

Virginia Divorce Lawyer: 4 Tips for Getting Over an Abusive Relationship

Sun, 13 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

An abusive relationship is one of the most common reasons many women seek divorce in Virginia. You should not have to suffer mental or physical abuse from your husband. When your problems cannot be resolved, it is time to talk to a divorce attorney to discuss your options.

After a divorce is finalized, many women find themselves struggling to get over the pain and emotional damage they suffered during their marriage. Remember that you are not alone. These tips may help you find some comfort and guidance through the difficult time of rebuilding your life after leaving an abusive relationship:

    •       Avoid unnecessary contact with your abusive ex-husband. Unless court-mandated, you should ignore any contact attempts by your ex-husband. If your ex begins to harass you, bring the issue to the attention of your divorce attorney to see if a restraining order is necessary for your protection.
            •           Seek family and friends. After leaving an abusive relationship, it is important to focus on the healthy relationships you do have. Reconnect with friends and family that your ex-husband may have alienated, or seek out new friendships as a single woman.
            •           Stay busy. After a divorce you may find you have more free time to enjoy your new life. Many abusive relationships are about control, and your ex-husband may have been preventing you from taking up a hobby or doing something you used to enjoy. Take this opportunity to explore life!
            •           Talk to a therapist. When the emotional scars left from an abusive relationship are too much of a burden to bear alone you may need to seek professional help. A therapist or psychiatrist can help you cope with feelings of loss, depression, distress, anger, and confusion that can result with such a drastic change in your life.

When you believe your marriage is damaging your physical or mental well-being, it is time to contact a divorce attorney to discuss your options for getting out of an abusive relationship. You have the right to lead a happy, safe life. If your husband is preventing you from that right, it may be grounds for divorce.

In an abusive relationship? Seek help from a Virginia divorce attorney!

Don’t let an abusive relationship ruin your life – you have the right to safety when seeking a divorce. The sooner you bring your case to a Virginia divorce attorney for women, the sooner you can learn about how to protect yourself from an abusive husband as you file for divorce.

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee P.C., we provide family law and divorce support for women only, allowing us to focus on the unique needs of women that find it necessary to separate from their husbands. To schedule a consultation with our attorneys and learn how we can help, HYPERLINK "http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/contact.cfm" contact us today – 757-425-5200.

Divorce Case Special Circumstances: Divorcing an Inmate

Sat, 12 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

The process of filing a Virginia divorce case when your husband is in jail can complicate matters, which is where a divorce attorney can help.

Divorcing an inmate is not an easy process. While there typically is not any special paperwork necessary to divorce an inmate, getting a normal divorce case filed can take additional time as you wait for correspondence from your soon-to-be ex-husband.

Unlike a normal divorce case, divorcing an inmate may mean you have to wait longer to have the important meetings necessary to create agreements for child custody, alimony, and marital property division. On the other hand, conviction of a crime where a spouse is imprisoned for a term of 12 months or longer is considered legal grounds for divorce in Virginia. This means that when filing for divorce from an inmate, your claim will hold more power.

If you are an inmate and seeking to divorce your husband, you also have the right to do so. However, you will most likely run into a much lengthier battle. It can be difficult for inmates to secure the services of a divorce attorney while in jail, so you may need to speak to your criminal defense attorney first for advice on your rights to file divorce when imprisoned.

In any situation, it is best to seek the advice of a Virginia divorce attorney to discuss your rights and options for divorce when one spouse is incarcerated. Both parties have rights unique to this situation that can complicate a divorce case if not handled by a legal expert in Virginia divorce law.

A Women’s Divorce Attorney Best Understands Your Divorce Case

There are many situations that need to be handled differently in the eyes of the wife when settling a divorce case. It’s important to have a divorce attorney who understands a woman’s needs and rights in the divorce process to make sure she makes the best decisions possible.

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee P.C., we provide family law and divorce support for women only, allowing us to focus on the unique needs of women that find it necessary to undergo legal separation or complete divorce from their husbands. To schedule a consultation with our attorneys and learn how we can help, HYPERLINK "http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/contact.cfm" contact us today – 757-425-5200.

Could sexual relations with your ex affect your Virginia divorce case?

Fri, 11 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Emotional and legal damages are 2 things to consider when dealing with sexual relations while your Virginia divorce case is in progress.
Emotionally, having sex with your soon-to-be ex-husband can be either a good or a bad thing, depending on the situation. You may need that physical reminder of why you are choosing to end your marriage. On the other hand, the matter of sex is often used to manipulate the other spouse in divorce cases.

Having sexual relations with your husband after filing for divorce can also create legal issues depending on the type of divorce case you are seeking. In a no-fault divorce, you must have evidence that you and your ex-spouse intend to or have been living apart without cohabitation for more than 1 year. If it is found that you had sexual relations during this period it could cause your divorce case to be delayed or denied.

If engaging in sexual relations will harm your divorce case or your emotional health, your divorce attorney may suggest some methods of removing yourself from this risk. You may need to move out of the marital home sooner than expected, or have your husband leave.

In a contested divorce, the grounds for divorce may play a factor in how sexual relations can impair the divorce process. If there are any risks of sexual relations taking place as your divorce case is being resolved, you should bring these concerns to the attention of your divorce attorney.

A Women’s Divorce Attorney Best Understands Your Divorce Case

There are many situations that need to be handled differently in the eyes of the wife when settling a divorce case. It is important to have a divorce attorney who understands a woman’s needs and rights in the divorce process to make sure the matter is resolved fairly and promptly.

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee P.C., we provide family law and divorce support for women only, allowing us to focus on the unique needs of women who find it necessary to separate from their husbands. To schedule a consultation with our divorce attorney team and learn how we can help, HYPERLINK "http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/contact.cfm" contact us today – 757-425-5200.

Deciding When It is Time to Begin a Virginia Divorce Case

Thu, 10 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

There are many reasons that a woman may make the decision to file for divorce. It could be the need to end an abusive relationship, finding your husband is committing adultery, or you simply just fell out of love. Whatever the reason, making the decision to start a divorce case is not one to be made in haste and should start after consulting a Virginia divorce attorney.

Prior to making the decision to file a divorce case, you should first take the time to examine your situation on your own. Determine the reason or reasons you think you need to end your marriage. If there are multiple reasons, write them down and rank them by level of severity.

Next, you may want to talk to someone close to you for feedback about your concerns. A relative, close friend, or even a trusted therapist or member of your clergy can be a sympathetic ear to your problems and a good source of advice. There are also professional marriage counseling services that you and your spouse can attend that can help you review your issues.

If after considering your situation you still find that you must end your marriage, you’ll want to take the first step in filing a divorce case by choosing your divorce attorney. Remember that your husband has the same right to an attorney as you do, so you should be sure to give yourself every advantage possible by hiring a reputable, experienced Virginia divorce attorney.

A Women’s Divorce Attorney Best Understands Your Divorce Case

There are many situations that need to be handled differently in the eyes of the wife when settling a divorce case. It is important to have a divorce attorney that understands a woman’s needs and rights in the divorce process to make sure she makes the best decisions possible.

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee P.C., we provide family law and divorce support for women only, allowing us to focus on the unique needs of women who find it necessary to undergo legal separation or complete divorce from their husbands. To schedule a consultation with our attorneys and learn how we can help, HYPERLINK "http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/contact.cfm" contact us today – 757-425-5200.

Legal Separation vs. Divorce Case: What's the Difference?

Thu, 10 May 2012 08:00:00 EST

Virginia divorce law recognizes 2 forms of divorce: divorce from bed and board and divorce from the bond of matrimony. Divorce from bed and board can be considered legal separation, while divorce from the bond of matrimony is a complete divorce from the marriage.

When it is found that one spouse willfully deserts or abandons the other, or is guilty of cruelty and bodily harm, you may have a case of divorce from bed and board. Sometimes acts of cruelty result in willful desertion, which can become immediate grounds for divorce.

Divorce from the bond of matrimony can either be a no-fault legal separation or a contested divorce. If both spouses agree to a separation agreement and can come to terms on child custody, alimony, and marital property division, they may file a separation agreement and be granted a divorce.

A contested divorce case occurs when the grounds for divorce, such as adultery, are not agreed upon by both spouses. Because the spouses are not in agreement over the terms of the divorce case, it can complicate the associated agreements, such as child custody and support, and marital property division.

Legal separation may expedite certain cases of divorce, while others may require a full divorce case to be resolved before you are freed from your legal bonds. When the subject of divorce becomes a consideration in your marriage, you should talk to a divorce attorney about your options.

A Women’s Divorce Attorney Best Understands Your Divorce Case

There are many situations that need to be handled differently in the eyes of the wife when settling a divorce case. It is important to have a divorce attorney who understands a woman’s needs and rights in the divorce process to make sure she makes the best decisions possible.

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee P.C., we provide family law and divorce support for women only, allowing us to focus on the unique needs of women who find it necessary to undergo legal separation or complete divorce from their husbands. To schedule a consultation with our attorneys and learn how we can help, HYPERLINK "http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/contact.cfm" contact us today – 757-425-5200.

Amicable Divorce in Virginia: Is it Possible?

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Divorces are often complicated because there are many decisions to make, such as property allocation, living arrangements and child custody. On top of that, there are many negative emotions throughout the course of a divorce. However, there are some ways to have an amicable divorce for the sake of your children.

First, you and your spouse should decide the terms of your Virginia divorce. You should be able to come to an agreement without having the judge step in. Hire a mediator if there are some issues that you simply cannot agree upon. Leaving the judge control over any aspect will just make the process much more difficult for you and your children.

Although it can be difficult, try to see both sides of the story. Try to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. By seeing things through his or her point of view, you can learn to negotiate more fairly and have a friendly divorce.

Last, but not least, you should take care of your health. Divorce can be emotionally draining, so don’t forget to take care of yourself. Eating and sleeping well and engaging in stress relief techniques can help you feel better about yourself and leave you less likely to snap.

Contact a Virginia Divorce Lawyer for Women

If you need help with an amicable divorce, contact our family law attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee today – 1-757-425-5200. You can also request one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar

The Effects of Bankruptcy on Spousal Support

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

The effects of bankruptcy can reverberate throughout your entire life, but they can be complicated even further when you owe child or spousal support.

If you file bankruptcy, your former spouse is notified and will receive 2 notices – once when you file for bankruptcy and again when you receive your discharge. The Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act (BAPCPA) prevents you from being able to discharge child and spousal support. In fact, the BAPCPA requires that you pay back those debts before any others, including back taxes. However, you still have options.

If you are up to date on your payments, you may be able to file a “nondischargeability complaint” and request that the courts allow you either to make catch-up payments if you don’t have enough assets to continue making payments currently, or you can request an adjustment.

On the other hand, if your spouse files for bankruptcy and has been behind on his or her payments, then it’s possible that you may finally get the payment you are due because your spouse’s assets are being liquidated for cash.

Help from a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Consult a dedicated divorce attorney to learn more about how a divorce can impact your child support, spousal support or alimony payments – 1-757-425-5200.

Lessons that Children of Virginia Divorce Learn

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

It is natural to feel concerned about how your divorce will impact your child, and the honest truth is that while it will not be easy, there are some valuable lessons that children of divorce glean from the experience.

You do not have to be unhappy. Although children often wish it was the case that their parents would stay happy and in love forever, learning that unhappiness is unacceptable is self-empowering and beneficial.

You do not need to be in a relationship to be happy and satisfied. Children of divorce often learn that they can be happy independently and that a significant other or life partner is not a necessary component in his or her life.

It is never too late to adapt. Maybe you had a particular routine that you adhered to when you were married, like Mom made the rules about bedtime and chores, and dad did the yard work. In your new, separate lives, your children can see you adapting – Dad will make the rules at his home, Mom will do her own yard work – and setting a positive example.

When You Need Help with Your Virginia Divorce

While your children may learn some valuable lessons, it is safe to say that there are certain things that you should learn before your divorce proceedings. Speak with an attorney about how to prepare for the next step in your life – 1-757-425-5200.

Information You Should Give Your Children About Your Impending Virginia Divorce

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Divorce is an especially sad time for children. No child wants to see his or her home broken up. Sadly, divorce is a reality for many Virginia families. Because of this, parents need to be prepared to give their children the information they need to handle the divorce as smoothly as possible.

First of all, both parents should announce the divorce. Having both parents present shows that the divorce was a mutual decision, and it reinforces the fact that the children are not the cause of the divorce. This step is most likely the hardest because it requires the parents to control their emotions and show restraint.

The next step is to give your children a general reason for the divorce. You don’t have to go into too many details because it is a personal decision. However, it is important not to place blame on the other parent and to emphasize that the children have no role in the divorce.

You should also make it clear that you will be living apart, but this does not affect how much you love them. Emphasize that both their mother and father will continue to be their parents, and this will never change. Of course, what you tell them should be age-appropriate. What you tell a 3-year-old will be different than what you tell a teenager.

Contact a Virginia Divorce Lawyer for Women

If you are a woman going through a divorce in Virginia, contact the law office of Hofheimer/Ferrebee today. We are a firm of experienced family law attorneys who can help you with your divorce. Contact us at 1-757-425-5200. You can also request one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar.

Parenting Tips During Separation or Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Parenting during separation or divorce is practically synonymous with “complicated,” but even if it takes weeks or months of preparation, you and your ex-spouse can put aside relationship issues and put your children’s needs first.

Although joint custody arrangements can be exhausting, painful, and antagonistic, parents who developed a cooperative parenting relationship have children who benefit from the consistency of both parents in their lives, feel more secure, and have a healthy example to reflect on for the rest of their lives.

In order to separate your feelings from your conduct and keep your children away from the more frustrating aspects, try the following:

Vent to friends, therapists, or a support group – but never to your child;
Stay focused on the needs of your child, and remember that his or her best interests are at stake;
Do not use your child as a messenger – pick up the phone and tell your ex-spouse yourself;
Never say anything negative about the other parent in front of your child; and
Always keep conversations with your ex-spouse kid-centric.

Help from a Dedicated Divorce Attorney

If you are going through a divorce, don’t go it alone. Reach out to a Virginia divorce attorney who will protect your interests and provide you some respite in this difficult time – 1-757-425-5200.

Getting a Divorce in Virginia Without Spouse's Consent

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

There are many laws regarding divorce in Virginia. But filing for divorce without your spouse’s consent was nearly impossible in the past. However, family laws have changed, making things much easier. Here are some things you need to know about divorce and consent laws.

There are many states, including Virginia, that allow what is called a no-fault divorce. This means that “irreconcilable differences” may be used as a legitimate reason for divorce, and you do not have to state anything more definitive. If one spouse does not want to get a divorce, a no-fault divorce makes it easier to get a divorce, and the spouse’s consent will not be required.

However, you could still run into complications, so you should contact a Virginia divorce lawyer for help. In most states, one person can initiate the process of divorce and serve the other spouse the papers. Even without your spouse’s consent, you have the right to file whenever you are ready. Understand, though, that your spouse could still delay the process.

Contact a Virginia Divorce Law Firm for Women

If you have questions about the laws regarding filing for a divorce in Virginia, contact the law office of Hofheimer/Ferrebee today. We are a firm of experienced divorce attorneys who can help with your divorce. Contact us at 1-757-425-5200. You can also request one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar

How Divorce Affects Your Credit Score in Virginia

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Filing a divorce claim does not impact your credit score automatically; however, the transition from sharing joint responsibilities with a spouse to determining who is responsible for those debts can impact your rating. How you will manage your debt burdens and finances going forward can create problems that may have a negative impact as well.

There are several different types of accounts and users on accounts. For instance, a joint account is one in which you and another person share responsibilities for the payments. A cosigned account is one in which a person is responsible for the payments, but in the event of default, the cosigner is responsible. Finally, an authorized user has permission to use the account but is not responsible for payments.

Often, married couples have joint accounts, and charges can be racked up while the divorce is still in process. A party may not want to pay, so the best way to avoid problems is to make sure that all joint, cosigned, and authorized user accounts are closed when the proceedings begin.

Help from a Virginia Divorce Attorney

If you are considering filing for divorce and need to know how to protect your finances and your good credit score, reach out to a divorce attorney in Virginia, at Hofheimer/Ferrebee, who will educate you about your options – 1-757-425-5200.

Divorce Hotels: A Luxury Approach to Divorce Mediation

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're getting divorced in Virginia, you may sometimes feel the need to get away from it all and take a vacation from the stress in your life. For some Dutch couples, divorce and vacation can happen at the same time. The “divorce hotel” is a place where a couple can go to end their marriage quickly through divorce mediation.

The ideal candidates for the divorce hotel are couples who are ready to negotiate and want to avoid the lengthy, emotionally trying experience of traditional adversarial divorce. In the hotel, they can enjoy 4-star amenities, while working through their issues with a mediator. At the end of 3 days, the process is complete, and the couple can move on with their separate lives.

Divorce laws differ from country to country, so this unconventional method of divorce is only available in the Netherlands at the moment. But it is getting attention worldwide attention. Hotel operators report that they receive calls from couples across the globe, asking about their services.

While there are currently no divorce hotels here in the United States, couples going through a divorce can still choose a kinder, gentler method of ending their marriages. Courtroom divorce isn't the only option; you can also opt for divorce mediation. In mediation, you and your soon-to-be-ex try to work through your points of contention with a trained divorce mediator.

This can be a good option for many couples, especially those with child custody to consider. In many cases, trying to work out your problems in a civil, respectful way is much less time-consuming, stressful and expensive than adversarial litigation.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life – 1-757-425-5200.

The Power of Positive Thinking: How to Turn a Bad Situation Around

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Unfortunately, in bad situations we can be our own worst critics, making it seem like there’s no use in trying. However, being positive in a difficult situation can prove to be much more beneficial to your emotional and physical health. You can start to retrain your thinking today by working in these simple exercises and reminders in your daily life.

Use verbal affirmations at least once a day to help shift your inner dialogue. When you are in the midst of a negative thought realize it and make yourself say something positive like “I will make this a good day.” At first it will feel strange, but the more often you do it, the easier it will become and the more your attitude will begin to shift.

Surround yourself with positive people and images to keep you calm and happy. Being around negative people can influence your thoughts and self-esteem in a major way.

Remind yourself of what you are thankful and grateful for. It can be easy to focus on the bad or negative things and look over the good things happening in your life. Take a moment each day to appreciate the positive things no matter how big or small.

While it may seem unimportant, positive thinking can provide many health benefits including increased life expectancy, lessened risk of depression, strengthened immune system and lowered cardiovascular disease rates.

Got a New Boss? Introduce Yourself

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Your company announces that you’ll be getting a new boss – depending on the situation (and the person) you may either jump for joy or find yourself fearing the change. No matter what the reason for the change in leadership, you’ll need to be prepared. How you handle your new boss can affect your career and working environment so it’s important to start off on the right foot. These guidelines can keep you smooth sailing with your new captain.
Set Up an Introductory Meeting – If he or she hasn’t already, scheduled a one-on-one with your new boss to introduce yourself. This is a great way to show initiative and also establish what kind of relationship you’ll have. Keep in mind that they will probably be pretty busy the first week on the job so keep it brief or wait until things have calmed down a bit.
Make a Good Impression – Come in early, stay late, help out with projects and offer to show your new boss around the office. You don’t have to brown-nose or be fake but your chances of being remembered in a favorable way are increased if you make yourself more noticeable from the start.
Don’t Pass Judgment Too Quickly – Remember, starting any new job can be stressful especially when heading up a new group of unfamiliar people or a new company. Give your new boss some time to work out the kinks before you make up your mind.

Spring Fashion Tips for Plus Size Women: You'll Love Your Options This Season!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Shopping for a fuller figure can sometimes be challenging. Dressing for warmer weather can also present its own set difficulties – so what’s a girl to do? Fear not, full-figured ladies: following these tips and guidelines will have you stepping out in style this spring.
Pick Flattering Florals – Bright patterns and colors are a no-brainer for spring but it’s important to keep your body type in mind when picking a flowered frock. If you’re going to be wearing an all-over print on a dress or long skirt stick to medium and small prints. If you want to opt for a larger floral print stick to just a top of silk scarf to keep it from looking like you’re wearing a blossoming bush.
Make it a Maxi – The maxi dress has been a big hit in warmer weather for the past few seasons for women of all sizes and luckily, it doesn’t look like they’re going anywhere. These floor length dresses come in cooling fabrics like cotton and terry-cloth and are a far cry from your grandma’s muumuu. New cuts for the maxi highlight the waist and give the legs a streamlined appearance. Pair it with flip-flops for a poolside affair or throw on a pair of heeled sandals for a night on the town.
Stay Neutral – Earth tones like taupe, nude, soft grays, olive, browns and khaki don’t have to be boring! These colors are working their way into everything from shorts, to swimsuits and accessories and are especially flattering for the fuller-figured. Add a pop of color with a bejeweled broach, neon scarf or bright straw beach hat. Another plus? Neutral pieces can carry over to other seasons giving you more bang for your buck.
Remember that nothing is off-limits in plus-size fashion, it’s all about finding things that make you look and feel good. Don’t be afraid to experiment and have fun when getting dressed this spring.

4 Great Native Virginia Plants For Your Garden or Yard

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Winter is over and it’s time to bring life back to your yard. When picking out your new blooms consider adding native plants. Native plants are well adapted to their surroundings already and are typically cheaper to purchase than those that were imported. These 4 Virginian plants can make a great addition.

Virginia Spiderwort – Long, slender, tapering leaves give this plant a spider-like appearance with violet colored blooms that open from late spring to mid summer.

Field Pussytoes – These foot-tall plants feature white flowers that grow up the side of flower stalk and resemble tufts of cat hair, hence the name pussytoes.

Marsh Marigold – These bright-yellow flowering plants prefer lots of sun and lots of water so be prepared to put them in a sunny spot and water often.

Anemone – This low-maintenance flower is one of the longest lasting spring flowers in Virginia and boasts beautiful white and baby-pink blooms.

Creating a Budget for Your Summer Vacation

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you’re planning a vacation this summer you might get caught up in what it will cost and miss out on a great time. By setting a budget for your trip you can decide which aspects are most important to you and figure out how to afford them.

Transportation will likely be your biggest cost so determine how much you can spend first before deciding on a destination.

When booking lodging, make sure you read the fine print. Taxes, deposits, fees, parking, Internet etc. can all rack up quickly and blow your budget.

Decide what experiences are the most important to you. If you want to spend a week lounging by the pool, don’t spend the money on theme park tickets, or if you're looking for adventure talk to locals about the best and cheapest ways to see the sights.

World No Tobacco Day is May 31 - How to Kick the Habit for Good

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

While the health dangers of smoking are well-understood and publicized, many Americans still continue to light up. Use this World No Tobacco Day on May 31 as an excuse to kick the habit for good by following these tips.

Prepare yourself by ridding your home, car and workplace of cigarettes.
Decide what method you will use to quit – cold turkey, gum, nicotine patches, hypnosis etc.
Have a friend keep you accountable and support you.
Avoid temptation and do not go to bars or other places where you may encounter lots of smokers or cigarette smoke.
Find something else to do like exercising, crafts or volunteering to keep your mind off your cravings.

3 Fun Ideas to Liven Up Mother's Day Brunch

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Brunch is always a nice way to show your mom your appreciation on mother’s day, but why not liven it up this year with these three fun ideas.

Have a Theme – Breakfast in Paris? Foods in her favorite color? Think outside of typical and do something unexpected.
Do a Food Activity – Do something that works up to your meal like picking the blueberries that will go in the pancakes or taking a breakfast cooking class.
Pick a Unique Location – Try brunch at a Thai or Mexican restaurant, pack an outdoor picnic at the beach or visit a botanical garden.

Cinco de Mayo Events in Virginia Beach

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Looking to celebrate the Mexican Independence Day in Virginia Beach? Say hola to these fun events all over town.

3^rd Annual Cinco de Mayo 5K on the Boardwalk – 8 a.m. starting at 31^st Street and Neptune’s Park

Visit the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pleasure House Road for drink specials and Live Music all day

Friday, May 4, TowneBank Fountain Park will host a festival from 5-9 pm of live music and cocktails – the proceeds will benefit The Lions Club.

The Mexican band, Sol Libre will be playing a free show at the Jewish Mother Hilltop restaurant on May 5 at 8 p.m. on Maverick Street.

Living Together Before Marriage Might Affect Chances of Divorce in Virginia

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Living together before marriage used to be a scandalous choice. Nowadays, however, many couples don't think twice before sharing a home prior to taking the plunge. But does making this choice increase the chance that a couple may eventually end up seeking out a Virginia divorce lawyer?

Some recent studies conducted by the National Marriage Project seem to suggest that co-habitation before marriage can lead to divorce. It's difficult to determine the validity of these studies at this time, and it's also unclear why the risk of divorce would be increased due to premarital co-habitation.

Many couples move in together for convenience, or to give their relationship a “test drive” to find out whether they can indeed live together on a daily basis before making the big commitment to marriage. This seems like a good idea, but sometimes, cohabitation can prove as difficult to leave as marriage is.

This can mean that some couples will go straight from living together to marriage because they feel too entangled to back out, even though they are aware of problems in the relationship. Taking these unsolved issues into marriage is a bad idea and can lead to a trip to a divorce lawyer at some point in the future.

Living together before marriage is a very popular choice; approximately 70% of couples live together for some period of time before marriage. If you're considering living together before taking your vows, it's wise to go into it with a realistic view. Be honest with yourself and with your partner about your goals and expectations. Work out financial matters, fidelity agreements and any other issues you find important before making it legal.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Lawyer

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to divide your marital assets fairly. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

What Not to Do During Your Virginia Divorce

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you are new to divorce, you may not know how to act and may think that ignorance is bliss. However, your actions can affect your Virginia divorce negatively. Therefore, it is wise to know what not to do during your divorce so that your case runs smoothly.

First, stay off of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter. Anything you post online is for the public to see. Your spouse can use this information against you to claim full custody of the children or ask for more alimony. So be cautious of posting anything negative, such as photos of you drinking or out with a new significant other.

You also want to be extra cautious with money. Don’t buy big-ticket purchases because you need all the money you can save up for your new life after the divorce. You may need that money to find a new place to live and support your children. The last thing you want to do is rack up even more debt.

Don’t start a new relationship right away. Your focus is on finalizing the divorce, not becoming intimate with someone else. Close friendships with people of the same sex are preferred for the time being.

Contact a Virginia Divorce Attorney

If you need help knowing what not to do during your divorce, contact the family law attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee today – 1-757-425-5200. You can also request one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar.

After Divorce in Virginia: Managing Your Kids' Holiday Stress

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Holidays can be challenging times for families following a divorce in Virginia. There are child custody arrangements to adjust to, as well as other tensions that come with the breakup of a marriage. If you're a divorced parent, there are ways to make holidays and vacations easier to manage for your kids.

Cut the drama. The holidays can be an emotional time for you, and if you have to see your ex, those difficult emotions can grow even stronger. Despite these feelings, it's important for you to keep a cool head. Don't argue with your ex in front of your kids, and try to keep the holidays as positive as possible.

Communicate. Your children likely will struggle with many confusing feelings following your divorce. They probably will have many questions about the way their lives are changing and even about changes in holiday celebration routines. Talking with them and answering their questions honestly can help them adjust.

Take care of yourself. The months following your divorce in Virginia can be tough. Add in a hectic holiday schedule, and you have a recipe for stress. Don't over-schedule or overburden yourself during this time. Be sure you're getting adequate nourishment and rest. Seek out caring people to give you emotional support.

By caring about your own well-being and that of your children, you can grow accustomed to new child custody arrangements, get through holidays and vacations as a family, and move on in your new life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to divide your marital assets fairly. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 1-757-425-5200.

Travel and Virginia Child Custody

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

Summer vacation is meant to be a time of family fun and bonding, but if you're a parent facing Virginia child custody, you will have some things to take into consideration. Speak with your Norfolk divorce attorney to be sure that you're abiding by your custody agreement.

The amount of freedom you have to travel out of state or out of the country with your children depends on what your custody agreement is. Some custody arrangements require a parent to obtain permission before taking the child on an interstate or international trip.

When planning a vacation, be sure you have whatever legal documents you need for travel, so you don't run into any problems. If the trip requires a passport, be sure it's packed and ready to show. If you need a letter of permission from your child's other parent, have it handy as well. Using verbal agreements for travel isn't a good idea - stick with a written agreement. That way, your ex can't change his mind and cause you legal troubles during your journey.

It's a good idea to let your ex know where you plan to go. Parents love and worry about their kids, and he will likely have concerns when they are on the road. Even if you're not ordered by the court to share your travel plans with him, it's still wise and considerate to keep him informed.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia, along with child custody. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 1-757-425-5200.

Divorce Showers: A Way to Move on After Getting Divorced in Virginia

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're getting divorced in Virginia, you likely will undergo a process of grief and emotional recovery. Some women choose to have a divorce shower as part of the closure process following divorce.

A divorce shower or divorce party is a celebration of the end of a marriage. To some people, this might seem like a strange way to respond to what many view as a major emotional blow, but for a growing number of women, these parties are a way to let go of their broken marriages and move on to whatever the future holds.

The vibe of the party depends on the people involved in the celebration. Some women choose to have a quiet and laid-back party, while others prefer a more naughty and wild time. Either way, there are plenty of suggestions online for creating a successful divorce shower.

The demand for divorce showers has become high enough to enable some companies to advertise products and party packages specifically geared toward the divorce party shopper. There are various kinds of themed party favors and decorations available to make for a festive atmosphere.

Remember, if your friend is getting divorced in Virginia and you're considering throwing her a divorce shower, think it over. Be sure she is ready to let go of her marriage and that a divorce shower is something that she'd enjoy.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is also dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 1-757-425-5200.

Virginia Child Support: Do I have to account for my spending?

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Virginia child support was meant to help the custodial parent pay for the needs of the children following the divorce. Sometimes, the non-custodial parent becomes dissatisfied with how the recipient is spending the support, and seeks out provisions in Virginia child custody law that might demand accounting for payments.

It's understandable that someone paying child support would want to know that his or her money is being spent wisely, and unfortunately there are cases where the custodial parent uses the child support payments in irresponsible and unintended ways.

Despite these facts, there is no provision in Virginia law that forces a recipient of child payments to account for how the payments are spent. The reality of enforcing such a law would be difficult; custodial parents could easily make mistakes in recording or reporting, or give false accounts on purpose.

It can be difficult to discuss these matters with an ex. Cooperative co-parents will be open and honest about the way they spend their child support, but at the same time might not appreciate an ex-spouse making accusations or demands of them regarding the way they handle the child support money.

While there may be no laws forcing a parent to report child support spending, it's definitely worth speaking with your Norfolk divorce lawyer if you think your ex is being irresponsible with the child support money and neglecting the children in any way,

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children’s future. Our women’s-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Overview of Physical Custody in Virginia

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're a parent getting divorced in Virginia, you will want to know as much as you can about Virginia child custody laws. With the help of your attorney, you can seek a custody arrangement that works best for you and your family.

There are 2 primary types of child custody under Virginia law; physical and legal. The difference between the two kinds of custody comes down to how much decision making power the custodial parent has. The parent who has legal custody is responsible for making the important :big” decisions in the child's life, like religious training, schooling, and medical decisions.

A parent with physical custody has the child living with them. Their residence is the child's primary home, and this parent has control of the basic care and everyday decisions in the child's life.

If the parents share physical custody of the child, the child may split time between both parent's homes. The parents will share the responsibilities for the child's everyday care and practical needs. However, only the parent with legal custody can make the major decisions in the child's life.

It's possible for you and your ex to be granted either both joint legal or joint physical custody, and your rights and responsibilities will reflect this. Your attorney will help you navigate Virginia child custody laws so that you can create a stable environment for your child.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children’s future. Our women’s-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Getting divorced in Virginia? Celeb Advice for Parenting After Virginia Divorce

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're getting divorced in Virginia, you might have questions about parenting after divorce and relating to your ex. The aftermath of divorce is often a difficult time that can be tricky for anyone.

It's been 2 and a half years since Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce. Although their breakup drama may be old news, their post-divorce relationship is still evolving. Kate recently spoke with Dr. Drew Pinsky about the way the former couple handles their interaction as they navigate shared custody.

Things weren't always easy for the couple. Their split, in the wake of adultery accusations against Jon, wasn’t a friendly one. In 2010, Kate said that she and Jon still hadn’t made up and that some of their children also had emotional issues because of the divorce.

Now, things are looking up. Kate reports that she and Jon live their own lives and that their relationship is “more peaceful” now than it was in the early months following their divorce. She says that it's not likely that either of them are doing anything differently; the change happened naturally.

Many couples find that time heals the initial stormy feelings between them and that they’re able to move on toward a friendlier emotional place. Even if you’ll never be best friends with your ex-husband you should try your best to be civil with him. It’ll make for a much smoother experience when co-parenting after divorce.

Getting divorced in Virginia? Contact an Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Getting a Virginia divorce? Second Marriage Statistics

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

When you're facing Virginia divorce, you should consider the ways in which your divorce might affect your future relationships. Dating after divorce – and possible marriages that result from that dating – hold unique challenges that divorcees should be aware of.

The old saying goes “practice makes perfect”, but the statistics show that this isn't true when it comes to marriage. According to SmartStepFamilies.com, 60 percent of all second marriages will end in divorce, while 73 percent of third marriages will suffer the same fate.

Why is the failure rate so high for second time around| marriages, and is there anything you can do to improve your chances of having a lasting marriage after you've been divorced?

Experts say that the high rate of divorce in second and third marriages happens because many times, people don't really think through their decisions. They may jump into relationships too quickly after divorce to manage their loneliness, getting into the rebound relationship trap.

In many second and subsequent marriages, the couples don't have children together, so the stakes aren't perceived as being as high. Sometimes, the previous divorces can make one or both partners less afraid of divorce and less likely to fight hard to save the marriage when it hits hard times.

Before you contemplate marriage, or even before you even start dating after divorce, you should try and work through any lingering problems and fears that are left over from your failed first marriage. All relationships take work, whether or not you've been through a Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Online Programs Can Help Make Co-Parenting Easier after a Virginia Divorce

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Co-parenting after divorce can bring up some emotional conflict between former spouses. Some judges have begun to order divorced parents to use online programs that make co-parenting more efficient. You might want to look into some of these following your Virginia divorce.

Washington, D.C., mom and news personality Kelly Collis was having difficulty interacting with her ex-husband when it came to their children's schedules and other details of their custody plan. The tension grew and became more and more difficult to manage until finally a judge offered a solution: He ordered that Collis and her ex use a computer program to help them organize their co-parenting schedule.

The judge's idea turned out to be a good one. Collis and her ex found success using a program called Our Family Wizard, which helps parents keep track of visitation scheduling, appointments, budget and more.

It's not surprising that these programs are beneficial. In the age of the internet, co-parenting after divorce is becoming an increasingly tech-friendly endeavor. Some courts are recognizing “virtual visitation”, and families are taking advantage of smart phone apps and online programs to stay up to date.

Also, using a program to keep track of your parenting time can keep you in a calm, logical frame of mind and help you avoid a lot of the drama that often accompanies early attempts to work together after Virginia divorce. So, even if your judge does not order you and your ex to use an online co-parenting program, you might find it beneficial to explore this option on your own after Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Bigamy Exposed through Facebook

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

When you're getting divorced in Virginia, you need to be watchful of your online activity, particularly on social networks. Recently, there's been a few incidents in which someone was “outed” on Facebook for their sketchy activities. If you have found evidence of problematic behavior on your spouse;s Facebook, speak with your Norfolk divorce attorney.

In a recent well-publicized case, a Seattle man is facing bigamy charges after his 1^st wife learned of his second (illegal) marriage on Facebook. Alan O-Neil, previously known as Alan Fulk, left his first wife after 8 years of marriage, but never got a divorce from her. He changed his name and eventually he met and married another woman, thinking that nobody would be the wiser.

Unfortunately for him, the technology that connects us all ended up exposing his secret. Wife number 1 happened to see wife number 2's page when Facebook generated it on their “people you may know” function. Upon viewing wife number 2's page, wife number one saw the wedding photo and brought her ex's actions to the attention of the law.

If you're getting divorced in Virginia and you have a new partner in your life, it's wise to keep the details of your relationship and marriage plans off of facebook until your divorce is finalized. This way, your ex can't claim any illegal or immoral activity on your part in order to tarnish your image in court.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Modifying Virginia Child Custody/Visitation

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you need to modify a Virginia child custody or visitation order, you will have to go through a specific procedure. Virginia family law allows orders to be modified only under certain circumstances.

For the court to consider modifying a court-ordered custody or visitation arrangement, the party who desires the modification must show that there have been material changes in the case. Material changes refer to changes that directly affect the wellbeing of the child. This can mean nearly any kind of change in living conditions that have an effect on the wellbeing of the child.

Material changes can mean changes in:

the stability of the home environment;
the child's relationship to the parent;
health issues that might cause the child to benefit from services more readily provided by the non-custodial parent; and
many other issues.

To begin the process of modifying a Virginia child custody or visitation order, you will need to fill out the appropriate paperwork and detail the reason for requesting a change in custody.

The court will look at all the details and make a decision based on the unique factors in the case. Sometimes a court's idea of what is in your child's best interests may differ from your own ideas, so there's no guarantee of the court deciding in your favor. However, having a good attorney on your side can help you build a strong case.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Going through a Virginia Divorce When Serving in the Military

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're considering a Virginia military divorce, speaking with a Newport News divorce attorney who has experience working with military members is the best place to start.

Military divorce isn’t a separate legal category; military couples need to go through the same procedure for divorce as civilian couples do. The state laws in Virginia surrounding divorce are the same for everyone; the only exception being slightly relaxed residency laws for military couples.

However, unlike civilian divorce, Virginia military divorce needs to conform to specific federal laws as well. These rules can sometimes make the divorce process a bit more complicated and drawn-out. For example, there are certain laws that apply to military retirement pay as well as other issues that need to be addressed according to the guidelines.

It's not easy to maintain a marriage alongside the pressures of military life. The divorce rate among military couples is higher than that among the civilian population, so I you're facing the end of your marriage, you're not alone in your community. Some military members or their spouses find that the legal services offered by the military are really not designed to address the ins and outs of divorce.

It's important to seek legal help from a civilian attorney who has experience working with military couples. When deciding on a Newport News divorce attorney, ask him or her about their experience with military divorce.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Understanding Cross-Examination During Virginia Divorce

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Cross-examination is the part of a Virginia divorce court that many people have concerns about. Even with your Norfolk divorce lawyer nearby, being on the stand can be a challenging experience. There are some things to know before undergoing cross-examination during a divorce trial.

Your ex's attorney will try to get you to repeat anything positive you've said about your ex, and will try to block the “buts,” or negative information, you may say about him. The lawyer will usually ask leading questions that are meant to illicit a certain kind of response from you.

Always try to keep a cool head and don't lose your temper on the stand. Be honest and polite and answer all questions asked of you by the opposing counsel unless your attorney objects to the question.

During cross-examination, you will usually be asked to answer yes or no questions, which can make it difficult for you to fully explain your side of the story. Don't let this bother you; you will have a chance to elaborate on your answers and give your side of the story when it's your Norfolk divorce lawyer's turn to redirect examination.

Feel free to ask your lawyer any questions you might have prior to the trial. By being prepared and staying one step ahead, you can survive cross-examination during your Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Pros and Cons of Sole Virginia Child Custody

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're facing a Virginia child custody case, you and your Norfolk divorce lawyer can work toward a parenting plan that's good for you and your children. There are various types of custody, and each has its pros and cons.

If you have sole physical custody, then you are the one the child lives with and you're required to make the daily, practical child-care related decisions. As with any type of custody, sole physical custody has it's pros and cons.

Virginia Child Custody Pros

The children are able to stay in 1 home and not have to split time between two parents and houses.
In many cases, the children are able to remain in the house where they lived before the divorce, so they can attend the same school and have the same support system as before.
The non-custodial parent is usually given plenty of visitation time.

Virginia Child Custody Cons

The children often miss the non-custodial parent quite a lot and miss out on the experience of having both parents equally involved in their lives.
The visitation experience can lack depth because the non-custodial parent might use the time to play with and indulge the child to make up for not being present at home.
The non-custodial parent might feel that their role has been relegated to “visitor” in the child's life.

The decisions in Virginia child custody cases are based on many factors; ask your Norfolk divorce lawyer how the laws will apply to you.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Lawyer

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Getting divorced in Virginia with child custody issues? Use These Tools for Easier Parenting

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Getting divorced in Virginia can present you with a host of challenges, especially if you're a parent. Your schedule and living arrangements might change as you adapt to your Virginia child custody arrangements. Luckily there are some tools that can help you be more organized when approaching post-divorce parenting.

With technology such a large part of our (and our kids') lives, many of us find that cell phone applications (apps) are useful for many areas of life and work. With your phone never far away, the following apps can be live savers.

We all know that money can go quickly when you have kids, and that cash can be tight after a divorce. The Lemon app allows you to keep track of your expenditures. You can scan receipts with your phone and save them so you know how much you spent.

Raising kids after getting divorced in Virginia often means compromise, even when it comes to meeting spots. You can use the convenient InBetween app to find restaurants, parks, and other kid-friendly locations midway between your home and your ex's.

The 2 Houses app lets you and your ex log and exchange vital family info like:

expenditures;
important dates;
appointments;
the child's health information; and
more.

These apps can make for a much easier and more secure Virginia child custody arrangement. Utilizing these great apps as well as others can help you streamline your post-divorce experience and make for less stressful life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Could mediation help your Virginia divorce?

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

When you're getting divorced in Virginia, there are a host of issues to address and work through. Many couples find that mediation, with the help of a Hampton divorce lawyer, can be a productive way to solve their divorce disputes.

Growing up, most of us heard that fighting solved nothing, and that talking things out was the best way to go. Unfortunately, many adults forget this valuable lesson when it comes time to end their marriage. A divorce can easily turn into an acrimonious slug-fest in which both parties are demanding their own needs be met, sometimes in order to spite the other partner.

The sad reality of this scenario is that everyone involved usually ends up suffering. The stress and emotional upheaval that an unfriendly divorce brings can have a lasting effect, even on the party that seems to “win”. If children are involved, they can bear the brunt of the stress and experience the physical and emotional consequences.

When a couple chooses mediation, they decide to approach the end of their marriage in a more cooperative way. In mediation, the couple meets with a neutral mediator who guides them through the negotiation process. The mediator doesn’t tell them what to decide, but simply facilitates productive conversation.

If you're getting divorced in Virginia and would like to look into mediation as an option, you should speak with a Hampton divorce lawyer who is alternative-litigation friendly and who has experience with mediation.

Contacting a Hampton Divorce Lawyer

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

I Had An Affair, Now My Husband Wants a Divorce

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Being cheated on is a painful event, but sometimes being the one who cheats can bring a suffering all its own. If you committed adultery in your marriage and your husband wants a Virginia divorce, you should seek the counsel of a Virginia divorce attorney for women.

Adultery is one of the top reasons for couples to break up. There are many reasons why people have affairs, but whatever lead to your decision to do so, you now need to choose how you'll handle the consequences.

Making excuses for your behavior is not going to help the situation. You should hear your husband out and allow him to ask questions and vent. At the same time, you do not have to allow yourself to be verbally or physically abused, so keep your safety in mind at all times.

When a spouse cheats, it doesn’t always mean the end of the marriage. Sometimes, the partners are able to work things out and rebuild trust, often with the help of a licensed family therapist. However, this can be a long and emotionally difficult process and both parties have to be committed to seeing it through.

If you and your spouse cannot work through your problems, then divorce may be the only option. Even if you do not want the divorce, you will have to face the reality that it's going to happen. Your best strategy is to consult a Virginia divorce attorney for women. Having a lawyer can make a big difference in your divorce case and can help make sure that you are treated fairly in court.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar –.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. – 757-425-5200.

Finding Happiness After Virginia Divorce : One Celeb's Advice

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Rebuilding your life after a Virginia divorce can be a challenging experience, particularly when the divorce coincides with illness or financial problems. During your divorce, your Virginia divorce attorney for women can help you through your legal issues, but when your divorce is final, you still have plenty of work to do.

Back in the 90's Fran Drescher was making America laugh as everyone's favorite “Nanny”, but in the years following the end of her popular sitcom, the star's personal life was anything but funny. She went through an emotionally difficult divorce from her husband of 21 years after he came out as gay, and she was also diagnosed with cancer. Despite these struggles, she managed to come out stronger, wiser and with her sense of humor still intact.

Today Drescher is cancer-free and working with her ex husband on creative projects once again. She describes herself as “happily divorced' and says that her TV and writing projects have helped her recover from the stormy years of emotional pain and physical illness.

If you're facing a divorce, speak with a Virginia divorce attorney for women to settle you legal matters, but also focus on taking steps to heal emotionally and move on.

Career, hobbies and positive attitude can go a long way to helping you put your Virginia divorce behind you. Not everyone will be able to be friends and collaborators with their ex, but it is possible to let go of the anger and pain.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Virginia Divorce: Careers that Pose a Higher Risk

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Are you considering Virginia divorce? There are many reasons for marital breakdown, but career conflicts can play a large role. If your work life has contributed to the end of your relationship, a Virginia divorce attorney for women can help answer your legal questions.

Maintaining a marriage isn't easy, regardless of what line of work you're in, but statistics show that certain jobs are more stressful for marriages than others.

It's no surprise that entertainers are at the top of the list of individuals at risk for divorce. Unpredictable scheduling, fluctuating income, and increased opportunities for cheating all contribute to this.

Those who work in the home health, psychiatric, and nursing fields are also at high risk for divorce. These are demanding jobs that require long hours and can easily lead to burnout. It's not unusual for people who give of themselves at their daily job to have difficulties at home.

The rest of the list includes a variety of seemingly unrelated jobs, from machine operators to bartenders. Upon closer inspection, you will notice that most of these careers feature either long, unpredictable, non-family-friendly hours and/or increased opportunities for adultery. In any case, marital breakdown can happen due to career challenges and when it does, couples need to explore their options.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney for Women

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Parenting After Divorce: Activities to Help Kids Cope with Virginia Child Custody

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 08:00:00 EST

Parenting after divorce means understanding what your children need. Between handling your new Virginia child custody arrangements and building your new life, you may not be sure how best to address your child's emotions during this difficult time. Newly divorced parents have many resources to help them guide their children through the rough waters of post-divorce family life.

There are activities that can help kids to process their feelings and heal following their parents break up.

Children's books can be among the best resources available when you're parenting after divorce. There are many books that deal with the topic of divorce in a way that kids can relate to and understand. There are also family workbooks and other helpful resources for parents, too.
Children can also write their own stories. You can encourage your child to write a story that talks about divorce. This can be a good creative exercise that allows your child to express feelings he or she might not have found the words for otherwise.
Any kind of creative play can be an outlet for your child's emotions after your divorce. Puppet shows, playing with dolls, doing crafts...all these activities, when guided by an understanding parent, can be beneficial.
For kids adjusting to new Virginia child custody arrangements, it might be helpful to make a calendar highlighting parental visitation days and other special events, so the positive aspects of the new arrangement are highlighted.

By utilizing some of these simple tools, and letting your child know you're always there to talk, you can set your child on the road to recovery after your divorce

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Getting a divorce in Virginia? Holding Back on Blogging About It

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

An increasing amount of high-profile bloggers have been sharing their marital woes in cyberspace, and talking about personal family matters such as getting a divorce. In Virginia, your Hampton divorce attorney will caution you about oversharing online during a divorce because it could lead to unnecessary strife and turmoil down the road.

Mother and blogger Heather Armstrong, whose blog traffic nears 100,000 daily visitors, candidly posted about her separation from her husband, as well as her depression. Some bloggers even base their entire site on their divorce, such as Molly Monet’s Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce blog.

There are some potential benefits of blogging worth mentioning. According to a study released in the 2009 issue of CyberPsychology & Behavior, when bloggers disclose their feeling and moods with their audience, it can improve their:

social support system;
interpersonal communication; and
overall quality of life.

However, there are some drawbacks. It’s important to keep in mind that whatever you post online remains accessible to everyone in the world – your ex-husband, his lawyers, your children, your future employers, etc. Airing your dirty laundry may be considered inappropriate by some folks, and can actually come back to haunt you in court.

If you’re looking for a way to release steam or share your experiences about getting a divorce, a Virginia divorce support group may be a safe alternative to the blogosphere. If you’re in need of legal counsel at any stage of your divorce, make sure to speak directly to an experienced Hampton divorce attorney.

Getting a divorce in Virginia? Contact a Hampton Divorce Attorney

Throughout divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

An attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Prenups and Virginia Divorce: Why Prenuptial Agreements are on the Rise

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Many people considering marriage have questions about prenuptial agreements. These agreements can be useful for some couples because they protect your assets in case of a Virginia divorce.

Prenups have played a role in marriage for hundreds of years. They help ensure that the couple's assets will be divided fairly in case of a split or the death of one partner. Despite the fact that a prenup is a practical and logical step for many couples, some people still hold negative views about these documents.

True, a prenup is not the most romantic part of your wedding planning but it can serve you well down the line. With around 40 percent of marriages ending in divorce, more and more couples are taking a realistic view, dispelling the inaccurate myths, and drafting a prenuptial agreement prior to their marriage.

They understand that it is a lot easier to negotiate the terms of an agreement of this kind while their union is still strong. They also may see prenuptial agreements as a way to show respect for each other, looking out for their financial futures.

Prenups aren't for everyone. Young couples just starting out probably do not need one. However, if you or your spouse-to-be has any significant assets going into the marriage, you might want to consider if a prenup would benefit you in case of Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

An attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

How Your Virginia Divorce can Promote Healthy Resiliency in Your Children

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Although a marital separation may bring a significant amount of stress into a family, if managed correctly, it can actually help promote resiliency in children of divorce, according to child psychologist Dr. Gregory Ramey. If you find your family going through these sorts of issues, you’ll want to seek out advice from a family therapist in your area, as well as a divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach for help with all the legal details.

Dr. Ramey reported on the Sydney Morning Herald that when parents cease over-sheltering their children from stressful events (such as divorce), and instead teach them to handle the tough situations in a positive manner, the divorce won’t be as detrimental; it can essentially encourage fortitude and a strong, healthy character.

A way you can you help encourage resiliency in your children is to model it yourself. Children learn by watching and imitating behaviors; the better your outlook on the situation, the better your children’s will be.

A resilient temperament is characterized by beliefs such as:

life has meaning;
crises are just a natural part of life;
there’s always a silver lining;
people can overcome adversity by determination and flexibility; and
happiness is a choice.

With a strong support system, children of divorce can make it through the ordeal and become strong, spirited adults. If you have any questions regarding your Virginia divorce or custody issues, consult a divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach.

Contacting a Divorce Lawyer in Virginia Beach

Our Virginia Beach divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia Beach divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Divorced in Virginia? How Economic Recovery Might Have an Impact

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Are you getting divorced in Virginia? You're not alone. As the U.S. economy recovers, we might see more couples seeking out the help of a Hampton divorce attorney. Contrary to what many might assume, the statistics show that the divorce rate has actually gone down during the recession.

When people think of hard economic times, they often think of the stress it puts on couples. When a family has to tighten their belts, it can lead to frustration, sadness, and disillusionment that can put even the strongest marriage to the test.

While financial distress can definitely put a strain of a relationship and even lead to divorce, being strapped for cash can also have the effect of keeping people together. Couples who are not the best of friends may decide that it's just not financially feasible to divorce during a recession and that it's more practical to weather the storm together.

As the country rises from its troubles and looks to a future of rebuilding, more couples may very well decide that the time is right to end their unhappy marriages.

If this is the situation you find yourself in, your best course of action is to consult a Hampton divorce attorney. If financial issues were part of the reason you divorced in Virginia, you will likely be facing disagreements about money during your divorce, and you should have a knowledgeable professional on your side during the entire process.

Getting divorced in Virginia? Contact a Hampton Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Gray Divorce in Virginia: Ending a Marriage Later in Life

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Later-life divorce is on the rise. If you're a woman facing divorce in Virginia, you might find yourself a part of a growing trend of mature adults who are ending their marriages and starting a new chapter in life. Older women are choosing divorce these days in greater numbers than in past generations. Statistics show that 66% of late life divorces are initiated by women.

Shifting social mores is a main contributor to the new outlook on divorce. Women whose mothers would have stuck out unsatisfying marriages are now more likely to take a logical view and pursue their own peace and happiness, but that doesn’t mean it will be a smooth road for these new divorcees.

Divorce isn't easy for anyone. It brings with it a host of emotional, social and financial challenges that are difficult to face, no matter how old you are. However, later-life divorce brings with it some unique issues, for example, having to live alone for the first time in what may be years, and entering the dating scene again at an older age.

When you're looking at divorce in Virginia, it's important to have a good attorney on your side. The security of your future can depend on the quality of legal representation you have.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

How Smartphones Can be Used in a Virginia Divorce Case

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

In a Virginia divorce, both sides' attorneys try to create a case by using as much evidence as they can acquire. Your Newport News divorce lawyer counsel you regarding the various types of evidence that might be used in your case.

“Smart phones” like the iPhone and Droid have become such an integral part of our lives that most people don't even think twice about using them, or how their use might affect their Virginia divorce case. But divorce lawyers know that these devices can be treasure troves of information.

A large majority of divorce attorneys report seeing an increase in the use of smart phone records in their practice over the past few years. Common information gleaned as evidence includes text messages, e-mails, stored phone numbers and call histories.

These records can serve as evidence for various grounds for divorce. Adultery is the most common offense that phone records are used to prove because people who are cheating often leave a trail of communication behind them.

Whether you are at risk for having your phone records looked into by your ex's lawyer or you would like advice on whether you can obtain your ex-husband's smartphone records, you should speak with your Newport News divorce lawyer.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Strategies to Keep Your Kids Out Of The Middle During Divorce In Virginia

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Parents considering divorce in Virginia often have concerns about how their breakup will affect their children. While your kids will go through some changes during this challenging time, you can protect them by working toward a beneficial Virginia child custody plan and by understanding their emotional needs.

One of the things that can seriously affect a child after parents' divorce is the feeling that he or she is caught in the middle. There are things you can do to lessen the chances of your child feeling like they have to choose 1 parent over the other:

don't compete for your child's attention or love by overspending on gifts or being excessively lenient with rules;
be sure to communicate directly with your ex instead of getting your information about each other from the children;
avoid speaking badly about your ex when the kids are within earshot because doing so will harm your children emotionally and can also affect your Virginia child custody case;
handle your problems with the help of other adults, instead of burdening your children with information and emotions they aren't old enough to handle; and
keep the family relationship open and honest. Don't ask your children to keep secrets from your ex or to act as spies for you.

By working together and keeping the lines of communication open, you can develop a healthy parenting plan after your divorce in Virginia.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about divorce in Virginia, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Getting your Finances in Order When Getting Divorced in Virginia

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

When you're getting divorced in Virginia, your financial affairs will need to be sorted out. Your Hampton divorce lawyer will counsel you about your specific case, but there are some tips to remember when considering money matters during and after your divorce.

Have good legal and financial help on your side. Finances can be complicated when you're getting divorced in Virginia, and you don't want to overlook any important details that can benefit you.
The divorce process calls for a great deal of paperwork, like bank statements, mortgage papers, and insurance policies. The more documentation you have for the things you and your spouse own and share, the easier it will be to divide your assets.
If you have children, securing their needs is top priority. Your Hampton divorce lawyer will help you with obtaining child support for your ex, and spousal support as well, if applicable.
Be realistic and logical when deciding whether you want to keep the marital home. While being awarded the house has its benefits, the upkeep of a home can be very costly.
Be sure to establish your own bank account as well as a credit card in your own name.

With the help of your Hampton divorce lawyer, you can be prepared for the financial aspects of the divorce process and for your new independent life following divorce.

Contacting a Hampton Divorce Lawyer

There are very specific rules governing getting divorced in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Learning from a Celebrity Split: Demi Moore

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

When you're getting divorced in Virginia, you may find yourself on an emotional roller coaster as you face the changes in your life. With your Chesapeake divorce attorney for women handling the legal aspects of your case, you can focus on caring for your mental and emotional health.

Even celebrities aren't immune to the pain that comes with the end of a relationship. Recently, Demi Moore was taken to the hospital after suffering from a seizure, and some sources speculated that the actress's illness was a result of drug abuse.

Moore's recent split from husband Ashton Kutcher has been tabloid fodder for months, putting the two of them in the media spotlight. It's quite possible that the stress of the breakup and the media swarm that followed could have driven Moore to behave in unusual ways, or to neglect her health.

This unfortunate story can serve as a cautionary tale for anyone getting divorced in Virginia. Do your best to take care of your health during this difficult time. It helps to have professionals on your side, like your Chesapeake divorce attorney and a licensed therapist.

While it's fine to explore new possibilities and have adventures in your post-divorce life, be sure you adequately address your grief and pain first, so that you don't put yourself in jeopardy or harm your relationships with those who love you.

Contacting a Chesapeake Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules to getting divorced in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Learning from a Celeb Split: Heidi Klum and Seal

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

No marriage is perfect or indestructible even if it appears so on the surface. If you're facing a divorce, you will likely have to deal with issues like Virginia child support and property division, and you'll need the help of a Virginia divorce lawyer for women.

Marriages end for a variety of reasons, but it's usually 1 or 2 major or recurring points of contention that drive a couple apart. According to various news sources, this was the case for Heidi Klum and Seal, her husband of nearly 7 years.

The couple seemed to have a fairytale union. But under the surface, they were dealing with a difficult issue: Seal's alleged anger issues. While the details of this case are as yet unknown, temper problems are common marital stressors for couples everywhere.

Living with a spouse who has a volcanic temper can be a very difficult experience. Even if physical violence never enters the picture, the emotional pain and stress of living with someone who can explode at any moment eventually takes its toll. If you have children, it's even more serious because they may be exposed to harsh words and other displays of rage, either directed at them or at others.

If you and your spouse are dealing with anger and emotional abuse and you feel that your marriage cannot be saved, contact a Virginia Beach divorce lawyer for women for help creating safe child custody arrangements for your children as well as other legal help.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Lawyer For Women

Our Virginia divorce lawyers for women care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce or Virginia child support, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Virginia Child Custody: Strategies for Easier Co-Parenting after Divorce

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Parenting will change in many ways post-divorce. Your Virginia child custody attorney will handle the legal aspects of your case, but you and your ex will need to create a parenting plan that will build a healthy emotional foundation for your child after a Virginia divorce.

Put family first. You and your ex may not be the best of friends, but try to work out an agreement so that you can present a united front when it comes to parenting.
Encourage togetherness. Don't try to sabotage your child's relationship with your ex. It’ll only serve to make tensions even worse and will be damaging to your child.
Stay in communication with your ex. It's important to stay abreast of any changes going on and to update each other about any concerns you may have regarding your kids.
After your divorce, understand that a child may try to take advantage of the situation and manipulate you and your ex in some ways. Children will sometimes do this to get attention or gifts. Don't cast blame on your child, but do set boundaries.
Be respectful when talking with or about your ex in front of your child. There can be a lot of emotional upheaval surrounding divorce, but keeping your children safe and healthy should be the top priority.

Working together, you and your ex can learn to manage your Virginia child custody arrangement and move on to a full life after divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Sean Penn's Coping Strategy after Divorce from Robin Wright

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

After your divorce in Virginia, you will likely still be dealing with some emotional pain and working toward recovery. There are things you can do to help yourself heal and to start on the path to a new life after divorce.

Take for example, Sean Penn and his divorce from actress Robin Wright. Following the split, Penn dedicated himself to helping the victims of Haiti's deadly 2010 earthquake by donating his time and money to this important cause.

In addition to helping others, Penn's volunteering has benefited him as well. He says that his experiences in Haiti have helped him heal and find purpose in his life after the end of his marriage.

Of course, you don't have to be famous to learn the positive aspects of reaching out to others after your Virginia divorce. Some newly divorced people find that pursuing hobbies, interests and volunteer work gives them the inspiration and comfort they need to survive the difficult post-divorce period.

Volunteering allows you to see your situation in perspective and top think outside of yourself. It also gives people the chance to meet others with similar interests as well, so it opens doors to new friendships and relationships, helping ease loneliness.

With a good post-divorce recovery plan, you can get through the challenges of the single life and be on the road to building a new life after divorce.

Contacting a Divorce Attorney in Virginia

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Heidi Klum Searches for Divorce Lawyer after Split with Seal

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Are you ending your marriage and facing Virginia child support, spousal support or other issues? Do you need a good divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach? Take a cue from celebrity divorcees like Heidi Klum, who know that choosing an attorney takes time and thought.

The supermodel and her husband Seal announced their divorce recently, citing “irreconcilable differences.” Considering the couple has 4 children and a great deal of assets, this one has the potential to get complicated.

Although it's not common to hear of the female party in the divorce being ordered to pay child support, it isn't unheard of and is possible in this case, due to Klum's greater net worth. Her career has been going strong in the past few years, while Seal's recent musical offerings haven't met with as much success as his early work.

Sources close to the couple say that Heidi has been busy interviewing prospective attorneys to find one that's a good fit for her. This is a wise move for any woman going through divorce who will have to deal with Virginia child support, or any financial issues.

Choosing an attorney is a vital part of your divorce process. When you need a good divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach, look for one that is competent, experienced, and professional. Your finances and your future depend on it.

Contacting a Divorce Lawyer in Virginia Beach

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

3 Post-Divorce Parenting Mistakes to Avoid after Getting Divorced in Virginia

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 08:00:00 EST

Parents who are getting divorced in Virginia should make plans to cooperate on their parenting plan. When you're adjusting to your Virginia child custody arrangement, your kids will need extra attention and love, as well as boundaries and guidance.

The following are some common mistakes to avoid while you're parenting post-divorce.

Transferring your negative feelings for your ex onto your child. You love your child, but sometimes he or she might remind you so much of your ex that it causes you to inadvertently feel frustrated or lash out.
Overburdening. It's best not to burden your child with responsibilities or information only a grown-up should have. It may not always be easy to cope after getting divorced in Virginia, but it's important for you to seek appropriate support from adults who can help you through.
Using the children to spite your ex. While getting used to Virginia child custody arrangements, you might feel insecure or jealous of the time your child spends with your ex. These feelings cause some parents to act in negative ways, using their children as pawns to upset the other parent or as messengers or spies to transmit and gather information.

By putting your child's needs first, you can work through your challenges and create a loving nurturing parenting environment through the years after divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Getting Divorced in Virginia? Unearthing Your Authentic Self

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Divorce can cause your whole world to crumble, rocking your personal foundation and your identity in the process. If you’re getting divorced in Virginia, it may be time to assess who you really are, and begin to unearth your authentic self.

Norfolk divorce attorneys witness scores of women struggling to find their new identity after a divorce. It’s hard to let go of your past and to uncover your genuine self, which can be buried deep under years of repressed emotions and heavy societal roles and responsibilities.

You can start the journey to the “true you” and redesign your life by:

listening to your intuition – there’s a reason humans developed that sense back in the stone age;
evaluating whether or not your public persona resonates with your true passions and desires;
asking yourself, “will this bring me happiness, peace, and fulfillment?” before making any decisions; and
talking about your new life journey with a Norfolk life coach.

You deserve to live your life in a way that makes your soul sing. Isn’t it about time to release self-imposed limitations and beliefs that no longer serve you, and to befriend your authentic self, especially after getting divorced? In Virginia, if you need help with any legal aspects of your divorce, contact a Norfolk divorce attorney for a consultation.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

A Norfolk divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

5 Damaging Online Faux Pas to Avoid after a Divorce in Virginia Beach

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

You may not realize just how important your online networking and social activity becomes after getting divorced in Virginia. Virginia Beach divorce attorneys warn those in the midst of divorce of the dangers of online activity, and how opposing attorneys can use what you post online against you in court.

Tread lightly online, and be wary of what would arise if someone did a search on you or dug through your profiles.

Avoid negative talk – some people make the mistake of ranting about the judge’s decisions. Try to remain neutral about the situation.
Keep kids out of It – in custody battles, you don’t want to post anything negative about your ex or the kids. The courts look unfavorably on bringing kids into the parent problems..
Be careful with photos – a picture tells a thousand words and attorneys know how to use your pictures to cast a not-so-favorable light on you.
Don’t brag – in the middle of a divorce, posting pictures of big purchases could make you seem uncaring about the severity of the divorce, especially if alimony is up for debate.
Know who your friends are (or aren’t) – if your friends tag you in photos or posts, it can spell trouble for you. You may need to close down your social media accounts until after your divorce in Virginia.

For any questions about how your online activity could thwart your divorce or custody case, seek assistance from a Virginia Beach divorce attorney.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

3 Things to Remember When Parenting After Divorce in Virginia

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Are you going through a divorce and facing Virginia child custody wars? There are many important details to remember when parenting after divorce, but if you can remember and practice a few basic rules, you'll be off to a good start.

Be realistic about scheduling. Some parents with shared custody insist on splitting the child's time 50/50 between the two households. This isn't always the most practical idea. If, for example, you find that the child's stability is disrupted by spending half the week at 1 parent’s house and the other half of the week at the other, it might be advisable to go with a weekday/weekend split instead.
Keep the lines of communication open. You and your ex should discuss your scheduling, discipline methods, spending and other details of your parenting plans. Also, be sure to talk with your child about any changes taking place after the divorce. This way your child can feel secure, and you and your ex can present a united parenting front and avoid unnecessary disagreements.
Keep it friendly. Even if you and your ex still have issues, don't air them in front of the kids. Calling each other names or being intentionally cruel and disparaging when speaking about (or to) your ex in front of the children isn't healthy and will serve only to make your Virginia child custody arrangement unpleasant.

Even though you are divorced, you are still part of a family, and with some time and patience you and your children can settle into a satisfying new life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

The Power of the Virginia Post-Divorce Makeover

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

After your Virginia divorce, your appearance might be reflecting the stressful, difficult event you just went through. But you survived, and now is a great time for a post-divorce makeover!

Even if you're not ready to tackle the dating scene, your makeover can help give you a boost in self-confidence that will be useful when you want to make new friends or succeed in your career.

Your wardrobe says a lot about you, so why not give it an update? Set aside a day to do a complete closet cleaning. Get rid of anything that doesn’t fit you or is out of style and you don’t like anymore. Reorganizing a closet can be surprisingly therapeutic.

Now it is time to go shopping for some new items! Get some practical, classic wardrobe staples like a pea coat, a little black dress and some button-up shirts that can be mixed and matched. You can throw in a couple fun accessories as well. Bring a friend for an honest review and do some research yourself using fashion sites for inspiration

A new haircut can create a dramatic change the fastest. After your Virginia divorce, a trip to the salon may be just the thing to perk up your look.

A post-divorce makeover doesn’t have to break the bank. Little touches like some new makeup or a few pieces of jewelry can go a long way toward helping you feel refreshed and ready to start your new life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Foods to Improve Your Mood for Valentine's Day

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Making dinner for your significant other can be a wonderful Valentine’s Day gesture and there are some key foods you should include to boost your mood.

Asparagus has been rumored to increase histamine production, which is an essential hormone for enjoying time in the bedroom.
Almonds have long been a symbol of fertility and some studies have shown that their aroma has arousal effects in females.
Bananas contain the libido-enhancing chelating minerals and bromeliad enzymes.
Chocolate has long reigned as the top aphrodisiac by not only tasting great but also releasing the “feel good” chemical of phenylethylamine into the brain after ingesting it.

4 Quick and Easy Ways to Trim Your Budget

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Everyone is trying to cut costs these days and there are simple ways to trim your budget that you might not notice except for when making your wallet a little fuller.

Use reward programs –take advantage of the coupons and points stores allot you, saving a little at each store you visit regularly can add up throughout the course of the year.
Finish all the food – be creative and find ways to clean out your pantry and refrigerator before buying more food.
Clean up your online accounts – having your credit card information stored on shopping sites can make it easier to spend without thinking about it. If you have to reach for your card, you might think twice.
Go generic – using the generic brand of everything from prescriptions to toilet paper can save money and you’ll probably never notice the difference.

3 Ways to Use Your Lunch Break as a Way to Improve Your Health

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Fitting in fitness throughout your day can not only give you a break from work to refresh your mind but also to help your heart.

Use the first or last 30 minutes of your lunch hour to go for a walk. Whether it’s in a circle around the building or up and down the hallways, get moving. You can even recruit co-workers to stroll with you.
Look for a gym or exercise studio near your work that offers lunchtime classes. Many gyms offer classes in the 12-1 p.m. time slot. By forcing yourself to leave the office it will be easier to commit.

Incorporate moves you can do at your desk to your daily routine. Take a call standing up and shuffling from side to side, do criss-crosses with your legs while checking email. Every little bit can help.

Activities for Valentine's Day in Virginia Beach

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Whether you have been kissed or cursed with Virginia love, there is no shortage of fun and creative ways to spend your Valentine’s Day. Virginia Beach is full of activities for singles, couples, and growing families.

Singles – use this day to gather up the rest of your single friends and spend an evening putt-putting it up at Jungle Golf, a long-time Virginia Beach landmark.
Couples – make a reservation at Mannino’s Italian Bistro for a cozy and romantic Italian dinner.

Families – treat your little ones to some sweet treats and rides to get their hearts pumping at the Virginia Beach boardwalk and even you and the hubby could squeeze in a romantic walk on the beach.

3 Ideas to Set a Romantic Vibe in the Bedroom

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

During a busy week your bedroom can seem more like an office, a dining room table, or just a place to pass out, but with Valentine’s Day on the horizon there are few things you can do to make your abode a bit more inviting.

Declutter – put away the stacks of paper, the dirty laundry or the kid’s toys; nothing kills the mood like being reminded of your everyday stresses.
Spruce up the Place – invest in new linens, candles, or a new piece of art. Small changes can make the room seem like new and make you want to spend more time in it.

Turn off the TV – consider removing the TV from your room altogether or covering it up with a decorative cloth or scarf. Focus on each other rather than turning into a zombie before bed.

Meeting Your Child's Emotional Needs After Your Virginia Divorce

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

It's common for parents going through Virginia divorce to have concerns about how the experience will affect their child's emotional health. Divorce is a stressful time for a child, but you can help lessen the strain by following some important tips for parenting after divorce.

Communication is important. You need to stay in communication with your child, making sure they know it's OK to talk with you about their feelings. Also, learn effective ways of communicating with your ex so you can co-parent efficiently.
Avoid trash talking your ex. When you speak badly about your ex, your child can take it personally and also feel that they have to choose between the two of you. This isn't fair to any child, so try and say only positive or neutral things when discussing your former spouse in front of your kids.
Be reasonable when it comes to visitation. You may have some difficult feelings when it comes to your children going to see your ex after your Virginia divorce, but it's best to encourage them to enjoy the time with their father.

Remember that when you're parenting after divorce, cooperation between you and your ex- spouse is important. Your child's security and happiness depends on it. You may have your disagreements on discipline issues or other matters but you should try to be open to compromise. Seek the help of a family therapist if necessary.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Misconceptions about Dating After Divorce in Virginia

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

When you're ready, dating after divorce can be a fun, positive step to take. It's not always easy getting back on the dating scene after years of marriage, but knowing what pitfalls to avoid can help you have a better experience after Virginia divorce.

Some of the common misconceptions about post-divorce dating include:

It will give you more self-confidence. Are you looking to make your ex jealous? Do you feel very lonely and vulnerable and simply want someone's attention? Then it's probably best to wait. Take some time to heal and feel more secure so that you can approach relationships as a fully healed soul.
You need to find someone with more money/social skills/hobbies, etc. than your ex. This is a very common idea, particularly when someone was married for a long time. You may find yourself judging every new man you meet against your ex's traits...both the traits you loved and those you hated. It's best to get over this habit. Your ex-husband is a unique person and whoever you meet, you should enjoy spending time with them for their own special qualities.
Ignore your anxieties because you have to get over them sometime. No matter the situation, dating can cause some anxiety. When dating after divorce, your best bet is to go slowly; try casual lunch dates at first. Go at your own pace.

Allow yourself to heal and to feel ready before you put yourself out there. With time, you can move on and have a full life and rewarding relationships after Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Looking for romance this year? Dating After Divorcing in Virginia

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Have you gone through a Virginia divorce and are ready to meet someone new? Dating after divorce has its rewards and challenges. You have a better chance of success if you begin by improving your own life and confidence.

Sort through your “stuff”. If you have a large amount of items from your marriage, go through them and decide what to keep and what to let go.

Dating after divorce can be easier when you have had some closure. Be mindful of your health. The months following divorce can be rough on your diet, sleep schedule, and general health. Take steps to get your self-care back on track so you can go back on the dating scene feeling great.

Mind your money. It's common to have financial concerns after divorce. Take the time to learn financial management skills so that you can have your independence whether you're single or attached.

Invest in family time. You and your kids have been through a lot emotionally. Take the time to maintain your relationships so that you can build a healthy family base.

Build a support system. After your Virginia divorce, your friendships might change. Before you head back onto the dating scene, take time cultivating friendships with those who will support you and cheer you on.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. – 757-425-5200.

Turning Over a New Leaf After Divorce - 4 Tips to Get Healthy & Happy

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you recently got divorced in Virginia, a lot has changed in your life. When building your new post-divorce life, you should be aware of the health effects of divorce as well as ways to enhance your happiness and well-being.

Get adequate sleep. The stress of divorce can lead to changes in sleep habits. Take control of your sleep schedule by setting a bedtime for yourself and using relaxation techniques to encourage z's.

Overhaul your diet. Even if you're not looking to lose weight, most of us can use a few improvements in the eating department. When you're making dietary changes don't forget the essential fatty acids that are found in things like:

fish;
eggs; and
nuts.

Your mom was right; breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Opt for quick, fiber-filled options.

You may not think much about your teeth everyday, but medical experts know that oral health is tied to overall health because the bacteria in the mouth can lead to various health issues like diabetes and heart disease. Just one more reason to brush and floss daily!

Getting divorced in Virginia can make your life chaotic. You might find yourself grabbing soda and coffee throughout the day to keep you going, and your hydration levels suffer as a result. Make a commitment to drink more water, and don't forget about tea; there are some promising evidence that it can prevent a variety of health problems.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

New Year, New Plan: Reinventing Yourself After a Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you've recently gone through a Virginia divorce you're probably still feeling the effects as you enter the new year. Coping after divorce can be particularly difficult during the holidays, but afterward you may be looking for ways to make a fresh start.

Look after yourself. Physical health can affect emotional health, and vice versa. If you've been depressed and upset following your breakup, and that has influenced your eating and sleeping habits, now is the time to try and get them back on track. Also, you can look into new exercise plans, vitamins...whatever will help you feel your best.

Rediscover your passion. Sometimes in a relationship, you can lose your distinct identity as you conform to the likes and dislikes of your partner. After your Virginia divorce, you can do some soul-searching to find out who you really are and what you really love. Maybe you can re-adopt an old hobby or start a new one; volunteer or look into changing or enhancing your career.

Changing your look can be a fun way of coping after divorce. Even if you don't feel like making a big change, or spending a lot of cash, you can still brighten and freshen your look in small ways like hair color, a few new flattering clothing items, or some new makeup.

Be social. Take a break from your old scene and begin exploring new places. Try new bars and clubs, or join a club to connect with others who share your interests. Don't let anyone pressure you into dating again until you're ready.

Contacting a Chesapeake Divorce Lawyer

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Taking Control of Your Virginia Divorce

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're a woman faced with a Virginia divorce, you should have a Hampton divorce attorney on your side. News that your spouse is filing for divorce can sometimes come as a surprise and, when it does, you need to stand up for what's rightfully yours.

Take for instance, the case of Pilar Sanders, wife of NFL Hall of Famer Deion Sanders. Pilar found out about her husband's decision to end their marriage one day when she was checking the popular celebrity news site, TMZ.

In a news story, Deion told a reporter that he and his wife had decided to divorce based on a decision that would be in their best interests.

Despite being shocked and hurt by her husband's unilateral decision and careless announcement, Pilar is now ready to face whatever her future holds. She has hired an attorney and says she is prepared to “protect herself and her children.” The couple had been married since 1999 and have 3 children together, which could cause a lengthy divorce and child custody battle.

While you and your husband's split probably won’t make the tabloids, your Virginia divorce is an important event that may have long-standing effects in your life. Having a Hampton divorce lawyer to help guide you through the intricacies of the divorce process can make all the difference in the way your divorce plays out.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

The Connection Between Weight Gain after a Divorce in VA

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

After divorce in Virginia, your life changes in many ways. You may have challenges in your finances, your emotions and your physical health. Weight changes are among the common health effects of divorce.

A recent study shows that both marriage and divorce can cause “weight shocks” that can lead to small weight gains. Researchers found that females tend to gain weight in the first 2 years of marriage while divorce is the weight gain time for men.

Women's weight gain following marriage can be related to childbearing as well as to household responsibilities. Women tend to have a less predictable, more varied schedule than men do, which can keep them from getting into a regular workout routine.

The weight gain risk following divorce is slightly higher for men. Marriage tends to be beneficial to men's health; after a divorce men lose that health benefit, and might pick up unhealthy lifestyle habits as they settle into single life.

Those who are getting a divorce in Virginia can recover from any weight changes by eating healthy and working some physical movement into their schedule. You might not be ready to take control of your weight in the stressful time immediately following divorce, but managing the health effects of divorce can be a part of your overall recovery plan.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney for Women

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

When Leaving an Abusive Husband and Heading Toward a Virginia Divorce

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Leaving an abusive husband is a courageous act. If you're a woman facing Virginia divorce from an abusive spouse, take steps to protect yourself and your children as you make your exit.

Unfortunately, it's not unusual to hear of violent acts committed by one ex-spouse against another. Recently, a Grapevine, Texas man allegedly opened fire on his estranged wife and 7 others during a Christmas celebration. The details of the case are still unclear, but this tragedy is one many incidents that calls attention to the seriousness of domestic violence.

If you're escaping a dangerous relationship, your top priority should be remaining as safe as possible after your departure:

obtain a restraining order against your ex-husband before the divorce;
change your locks;
change your phone number, and your important passwords to protect your privacy;
switch the routes you normally take to work and school.
change jobs or alter your work hours (if possible);
install secure locks on doors ;
replace light wood doors with heavier wood or metal;
install a security system and/or motion sensor lights;
keep your cell phone on or near you at all times; and
build a support system of caring people who are aware of your situation. For example, your children's school should be informed and given a copy of your restraining orde

While leaving an abusive husband might initially be stressful, with the right help and support you should be able to move on and start a safe secure new future.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Healing a Broken Heart after a Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Coping after divorce isn't always easy. Even if the practical aspects of your life are in order following your Virginia divorce, your emotions may still need much more time to heal.

Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock might seem to have an enviable life, but when her marriage to husband Jesse James fell apart after the revelation of his multiple affairs, she experienced intense emotional pain.

Bullock recently revealed that she felt “permanently broken” in the aftermath of her divorce, and that it affected her acting career. She felt content to stay out of the public eye, until she was offered a script that inspired her to start working again. The new opportunity helped her to get back on her feet doing what she loves and has been a big part of her process of coping after divorce.

Many divorcees find that enjoyable work and hobbies provide relief from the emotional hurt of divorce. They can provide comfort and give you goals for the future.

It doesn’t matter who you are. Divorce can deal a serious blow that has lasting effects on your life. Grieving and building a new life after your divorce in Virginia can be a long and challenging process. Even if it seems difficult at times, you can find healing, be happy again and thrive in your new life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Be a Katy Perry, Not a Kim Kardashian, in Your Divorce

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

Katy Perry met media inquiries about her divorce from Russell Brand with a dignified silence, which she finall broke by tweeting gratitude to her supporters and stating that she had no comments to make on her divorce, and that others did not speak for her in their comments to media sources. Smart girl!

On the other hand, Kim Kardashian has very publicly broadcast private details about the breakdown of her brief marriage, and has even tweeted insults about her husband, Kris Humphries.

While I am a fan of Kim Kardashian, I am glad I'm not her divorce lawyer!

Often, spouses going through a divorce to try to save face by telling too much to too many. Some divorcing spouses have even made the mistake of wanting to "puff" to their exes and telling them, in detail, the strategy that they and their lawyers plan to use in their divorce! It is important to protect yourself by being a Katy and not a Kim:

1. Never discuss your divorce strategy with anyone other than your divorce attorney without your lawyer's permission. In addition to ruining the strategy, you can also waive your right to attorney/client confidentiality by sharing your discussions with your attorney with other people.

2. Never tweet about your divorce.

3. DO NOT post status updates or other information about your divorce, your ex, or anyone new in your life on Facebook or other social media sites.

4. Do not text, email, or post photos unless you would be proud for the judge in your divorce trial to see them.

As tempting as it may be to tell everyone you know (and everyone you don't know) your side of the story and to show your ex how you are living it up now that he is out of your life, do yourself and your divorce attorney a favor and don't do it. Be discreet. Your silence can never hurt and can only help your divorce case. You will thank me later!

Divorce Anxiety May Cause Some Couples to Postpone Marriage

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:00:00 EST

If you're getting divorced in Virginia, you're not alone. The social effects of divorce are far-reaching. While the stigma of divorce has lessened over the years, the prevalence of divorce in society can change people’s attitudes about marriage and relationships.

A study published in the journal Family Relations shows that an overwhelming number of men and women between the ages of 18 and 36 are anxious about the prospect of divorce.

This apprehension about divorce can affect relationships, causing some couples to put off marriage for fear of “failure”. While personal experience with divorce (i.e. having experienced parental divorce growing up) can cause a person to be more anxious about their own ability to maintain a long-lasting marriage, one doesn’t have to have a personal experience in order to have divorce anxiety.

Researchers say that while the social effects of divorce are very real, they don't have to stand in the way of a couple having a healthy relationship. Premarital counseling can be a way to address anxiety and fear about marriage and give a couple strategies for handling some common relationship problems.

Your Virginia divorce may be due in part of social climate, but the power to protect yourself and what belongs to you is in your hands. Take control by knowing your legal rights and facing your post-divorce future with courage.

Contacting a Divorce Lawyer in Virginia Beach

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. – 757-425-5200.

High-profile Celebrity Divorces of 2011

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Have you gone through a Virginia divorce this year? Are you in a troubled marriage and deciding on divorce? If so, you're in some glamorous company; quite a few high-profile people have called it quits in 2011:

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife Maria Shriver announced their split in the wake of the revelation that he had fathered a child with one of the family's household employees;
this fall, Demi Moore announced the end of her 6-year marriage to Ashton Kutcher following months of media speculation about his infidelity as well as other ongoing relationship issues;
actors Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds finalized their divorce in July, citing irreconcilable differences;
latin super-couple Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez shocked fans in July when news of their breakup went public. The couple had been married for 7 years and had collaborated on multiple entertainment projects; and
few celebrity relationships got as much media attention this year as the short-lived matrimonial saga of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. The couple filed for divorce in October, only 72 days after tying the knot in an extravagant ceremony.

Living in a culture that puts a spotlight on celebrity breakups can no doubt affect the way we approach our own relationship problems. While your Virginia divorce might not make the news, it’s a major event that’ll bring many changes to your life. When deciding on divorce, choose an attorney who has your best interests in mind. You deserve caring, competent legal representation during this challenging time.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar –.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. – 757-425-5200.

Burden of Virginia Divorce on Pets

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

It's not uncommon for a couple's pets to become objects of a dispute over division of property in a Virginia divorce, but it's the pets' emotional well-being that should be the first concern.

Though technically pets are considered “property” and the laws of division of property usually apply to them, many pet owners see them as much more than that. In many ways, pets are a part of the family. They bring fun, love and emotional comfort to their owners and are greatly missed when they're gone. This is why ownership of pets can be such a source of contention.

Many divorce lawyers report that they have seen couples with no children fight over a dog or cat much in the same way as divorcing parents fight over custody of a child. It can be difficult for both pet and owner to face the realities of custody during a Virginia divorce. Although your pet won't know exactly what's happening, he or she may very well pick up on your stress and tension and sense that something is amiss.

No matter which partner ends up being granted ownership of your furry friends, you can help provide them with love and stability. For example, you can share “parenting” responsibilities with your ex, such as taking the dog to vet visits. If you'll be sharing custody of the animal, you might also want to make sure that your pet has toys and other comfort objects at both homes.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Military Divorce Rates Rising

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're a military couple and you're considering a divorce in Virginia, you're not alone. The number of divorces among those in the armed forces has risen in 2011, bringing the military divorce rate to a new high. It’s estimated that about 1 in every 27 married troops have gone through a divorce.

The divorce rate among military couples has always been higher than the national average. This can be attributed to several factors. While military life has its perks, there are many aspects of the lifestyle that can put a strain on a relationship.

There's the stress of deployment and the challenge of long and unpredictable work hours. There's also the possible physical and emotional trauma that can result from combat. There are also, of course, cases where military life didn't have any direct effect on the couple's marital breakdown; they simply suffered a decline in their relationship like anyone can.

Whatever the reasons for the breakup, a couple may find themselves short on good legal advice. Not all divorce attorneys are familiar with the intricacies of military divorce in their state, because it differs from civilian divorce in many ways. The combination of federal and state laws that govern a military couple's divorce can make the process complicated for someone not experienced in that area of law.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there’s also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Divorced in Virginia: What to do with Marriage Stuff

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you’re divorced in Virginia, you may feel the need to deal with the material reminders of your marriage. Sorting out memorabilia can be a way of coping after divorce, because it brings closure to the painful event and allows you to look to the future.

Some divorcees keep all or most of the physical items from their marriage, while others prefer to let these items go. Your approach to change and your grieving style will dictate the way you handle these choices. Sometimes, it's not very easy to decide what's best.

One possible approach involves finding a happy medium, keeping some items and sending others on their way. For example, you can choose 2 special items to hold on to. These can be wedding souvenirs or other items. One of these will be the “keeper”, or, in other words, a souvenir of your married life.

Next, choose an item that you can use to symbolically let go of your marriage. You can do this by burning or burying the item. Some women choose to do this as part of their divorce party or as a personal ritual used as a means of coping after divorce.

Finally, take the remaining items and dispose of them however you want. You don't have to throw everything away; some items can be donated to thrift stores where they can bring happiness to others, while you move on to your new life after a Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney for Women

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

When the Courts Re-Review Your Virginia Child Custody Order

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you’re getting a divorce in Virginia, custody will naturally be one of your biggest concerns. If you’re not comfortable with the court’s Virginia child custody order because circumstances have changed, you can file a petition and have the courts re-review your case.

To begin with, you should know that if you want to change the custody arrangement, you’ll have the burden of proving to the courts that there’s a significant reason it should be altered. Considering the complexity of proving that there is a significant reason your custody arrangement should be altered, you should talk the matter over with your Virginia child custody lawyer to discuss your petition and best present your case.

When you decide to seek a custody change, the general chain of events includes:

consulting with your attorney;
gathering all necessarily paperwork;
filing your petition; and
waiting for the court’s ruling.

Remember, after getting a divorce, the Virginia court that made the original custody order retains jurisdiction over your case, and you’ll need to provide them with compelling reasons the order should be altered, such as drug abuse or physical abuse.

Before you petition the courts, make sure to run your situation by your attorney to make sure your case is substantial and thoroughly prepared, and to ask specific questions about your parenting plan or custody agreement.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Lawyer

Throughout your child custody proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

A Virginia child custody lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

VA Child Custody Lawyer Explains What Constitutes as Material Changes

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

When something significant has happened and you want to change your Virginia child custody order, you’ll have to work with your Virginia child custody lawyer to discuss how to demonstrate what’s known as “material changes.”

Just because the courts made a final judgment about the custody, doesn’t mean that you can’t seek to change it. The courts have a “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” mentality, though. You’ll have to prove that substantial changes have transpired that warrant a change to their original order.

There are numerous circumstances that the courts deem as important enough to necessitate change in a custody agreement:

a parent violates the original agreement;
drug abuse becomes a factor;
there has been evidence of child abuse (something the Child Protective Services division of the Virginia Beach Department of Social Services (DSS) should be immediately notified of);
a parent becomes involved with an abusive partner;
one or both parents remarry;
a parent’s ability to raise or provide for the children changes;
one or both parents relocate;
there have been crucial employment or economic changes;
illness or disability has become a factor; or
the noncustodial parent’s relationship with the children becomes threatened.

If you’re trying to regain custody of your children, or simply change the Virginia child custody agreement you and your ex created, the first step you’ll need to take is to speak with a Virginia child custody lawyer who can help you prepare your petition.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Lawyer

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Avoid the April Crunch: Filing Your 2011 Taxes Early

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Filing your taxes can be a long and complicated process, which can lead to putting it off until the very last minute. Avoid rushing around this year and follow a few simple tips to get your 2011 taxes filed early:

Gather all the documents you need to file early and keep them together in an easy to access location.
E-file online, depending on your tax situation. The IRS allows you to do this to speed up the process and cut down the paperwork. You can have records and important information e-mailed to you or mailed to your home as a backup.
Find and hire an accountant early if you are using one to file your taxes, before they are overbooked and more expensive.

Filing your taxes early and accurately not only helps alleviate stress but it can mean an early refund if you’ve got one coming to you, and who wouldn’t like that?

4 Health Resolutions to Make in the New Year

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

“Lose weight” and “eat better” are tops among health-related New Year’s resolutions, but they’re not the only body-conscious choices you can make as you head into 2012. Here are 4 healthy resolutions to consider as you get ready to toast the New Year:

Think outside of the gym – instead of joining the masses at an expensive health club, think of other ways to sneak exercise into your routine. Starters include walking a few laps around the building on your lunch break, taking a dance break when you get home from work or mowing your own lawn.
Take care of your bones – osteoporosis is a major health issue for 80 percent of women ages 50 and older. Add more calcium to your diet by eating salmon, dark green veggies and beans.
Go to the doctor – being up-to-date on health screenings can save your life. Take a day to set up all of your appointments for the entire year so you can’t put it off. These include the gynecologist, dentist, and your primary care physician.
Quit smoking – if you’re still hooked, break the habit for good in 2012. Don’t let past failures discourage you; it can be done! Talk to your doctor about new techniques and medications that could be the ticket to success. Never quit quitting.

Keeping Kids Busy in Winter Weather

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Are your kids cooped up in the house now that the chilly weather has settled in? Keep them occupied and keep your sanity by coming up with fun indoor activities until it warms up. Below are 3 fun ideas that are fit for the family:

Have a movie theater day complete with popcorn, candy and special chairs. You can even have the kids draw up movie posters and then later give a review.
Give them a few chores to do around the house – reap the benefits of having them inside! Not only will it give them something to do, it can take a few things off of your list.
Put on some upbeat music and have a dance party. They’ll get some exercise and burn off some energy.

These ideas should help to get the ball rolling, but don’t forget to ask your kids if they’ve got any bright ideas and then help them to make those a reality. An investment of a few minutes of brainstorming could buy you a few hours of peace around the house.

Eat Up! 7 Foods to bring you Luck in 2012

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Wishing for some luck in the New Year? There are some dishes rumored to bring good fortune to those who eat them on New Year’s Day. And if a New Year’s resolution is to shed a few pounds or eat better these 7 dishes will fit perfectly into your plan:

greens like spinach and collard greens – symbol for money;
black-eyed peas – another symbol for money and coins;
salmon – fish swim in schools symbolizing abundance;
fruit – for a “sweet” New Year;
noodles and grains – symbols of long life;
pork – pigs are known symbols of luck; and
cake – ring-shaped cakes are a symbol of coming full circle.

Grab a fork and bite into prosperity for 2012!

Clear the Clutter: 4 Ways to a Cleaner Closet in 2012

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Does your closet look like something out of Hoarders? Don’t fret; with these 4 tips, you’ll be well on your way to an organized 2012:

Start small – don’t try to tackle an entire closet in one day. You’ll get overwhelmed and quit. Schedule 1 hour a day to make it more manageable.
Be realistic – can you talk yourself into saving almost anything? If you haven’t worn it in years, it’s broken or you don’t know what it is – sell it, give it away, or trash it.
Don’t buy organizational products…yet – it’s tempting to buy all sorts of containers and baskets before you start. Wait to find out what you really need before wasting money on something that doesn’t work in the space.
Commit to keeping it up – once you’ve got a clean and organized closet, prevent another clutter meltdown by committing to putting things back where they belong. It takes only few seconds and can save you hours of organizing later. For everything new you bring into the closet, commit to purging an item that’s simply taking up space.

Protecting Your Kids from the Effects of Divorce in Virginia

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

For parents facing divorce in Virginia, the well-being of their children is at the top of their list of concerns. Kids deal with their parents' breakup in a variety of ways, but some basic guidelines for parenting after divorce can help make the experience go more smoothly.

Three Tips to Protect Your Children through Divorce in Virginia

First, children handle difficult situations better when they're prepared beforehand. While you may find it difficult to talk with your children about your divorce, it's better than springing it on them at the last minute. You don't have to give your kids all the details about your divorce; just let them know the basics so they won't be shocked when the changes begin.

Second, children will probably want to know how your divorce will affect their lives. Let them know how things will be changing, for example, if you’ll be moving, or if they’ll be spending weekends with their dad at his new home. Parenting during divorce means reassuring your kids of the primacy of family even though the family is going through transition.

Third, take your kids' wishes into consideration. There's a lot about divorce that your children can't control, and this can make them feel anxious and afraid. If they can have some input about some of the arrangements and changes that come with the divorce (i.e., if a child has reasons to want to spend a certain day or holiday with a particular parent) it can help them cope better.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar –.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. – 757-425-5200.

Creating New Holiday Family Traditions after Your Separation in VA

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Approaching the holidays while going through a separation in VA can be especially difficult when you’ve got children; they rely on their parents as the foundation for their sense of happiness and security, a need that seems to magnify during the holidays.

The key to helping your children through the difficult transition time is to temporarily put aside your own negative emotions, and instead focus on creating new, positive traditions for you and your children to embrace.

Here are 3 fun and festive activities to try:

Holiday Lights – why not make it a tradition to go driving around to admire all the holiday lights and decorations together? You could start at the Virginia Beach Boardwalk, which has an awesome display of lights sure to bring about plenty of “ooohs” and “ahhhs.”
Take in a Show – you could make it a new tradition to get dressed up and venture out to see a show together. The Sandler Center, for example, often has holiday performances where you and your children can go and simply enjoy each other’s company.
Volunteer –make a difference and keep the true spirit of the holidays in the forefront of your minds by helping those less fortunate. Why not make it a new tradition to donate your time and efforts at a local ministry such as Union Mission Ministries or For Kids?

The holidays are steeped in tradition, and you should feel free to release the ones that no longer serve you or your children after your separation in VA. For any questions regarding your divorce or for help with handling your holiday visitation schedule, speak to your Virginia child custody lawyer.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Lawyer

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

A Virginia child custody lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

A Quick Refresher on Virginia Child Custody Laws

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you’re going through a divorce and there are children involved, it’s a good idea to acquaint yourself with Virginia child custody laws; the more prepared you are, the better you’ll be able to handle any rough waters ahead.

Consider working with a Norfolk child custody lawyer who can help familiarize you with important laws that may affect your case. One of the most common questions about custody that parents have is, “How do the courts make custody decisions?”

In a nutshell, the courts make “the best interests of the child” their priority. They consider a number of factors when determining how to assign custody, including:

the age and needs of the child;
the child’s relationships to siblings, peers, and extended family;
the age and health of the parents;
how involved each parent is with the child and the nature of the existing relationships;
each parent’s current and future role in the child’s life;
the willingness of each parent to support the child’s relationship with the other parent and when dealing with parenting issues;
the child’s preferences (if at a reasonable developmental level); and
any family history of abuse.

For an excellent overview of divorce and Virginia child custody laws, and to hear other women’s stories who are dealing with similar custody issues, consider attending a divorce seminar in Virginia Beach, Newport News, or Chesapeake. In Norfolk, a child custody lawyer will be your primary source of information and counsel when you have specific questions regarding your custody arrangement.

Contacting a Norfolk Child Custody Lawyer

Our Norfolk divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Norfolk divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

5 Tips for Handling a Virginia Beach Divorce during the Holidays

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

The holidays are meant to be a happy time but a divorce can throw all your plans into a tailspin. It's not easy dealing with a Virginia Beach divorce at this sentimental time of year, but with some planning and strategy, you might find ways of coping during divorce that work for you:

Plan ahead. Divorce is stressful enough without having to suffer the effects of a chaotic schedule. Use a planner to write down what you need to buy and where you need to be. Be realistic and don't take on more responsibilities or events than you can.
Think of the children. Your kids are going through a lot and may express their emotional pain in surprising ways. When making holiday plans, take this into consideration.
Don't overdo it. It might be best to avoid events that run late when taking your children with you. That way you can keep the whining and crankiness to a minimum.
Create new family traditions. Face the changes in your life head-on by making some positive changes of your own. You can devise your own meaningful holiday traditions if the old ones are no longer possible or desirable.
Reach out. Loneliness is a common emotion for women facing the holidays during a Virginia Beach divorce. Your social circle may look different than it did just a short time ago, but you should reach out to the family and friends you trust. You may also find it helpful to talk with a licensed therapist.

Contacting a Woman Divorce Lawyer in Virginia Beach

At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Protecting Your Business During A Separation in VA

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

Women business owners going through a separation in VA need to think about protecting their assets. A Virginia Beach divorce attorney can advise you on the best steps to take to secure your business.

Forbes.com suggests women business owners going through a separation in VA or elsewhere keep the following in mind:

What do you want to do with your business? Think about whether you’d like to do a total buyout of your husband’s portion of the business, or sell it and divide the profit, or form a trust, or transition roles or maybe just keep the status quo.
Is the business separate or martial property? Separate property usually is that which was owned prior to the marriage, an inheritance, a gift or payment received in a personal injury judgment. All other property acquired during the marriage is usually marital property.
Is your state an equitable distribution or a community property state? A separation in Virginia falls under equitable distribution where the length of marriage, the age and health of the parties, the income and future-earning capacity are considered when determining a settlement.
What is the value of your business? Analyzing your business’ value throughout its existence, including since your separation, may help negotiate your position.

With a separation in VA, women business owners owe it to themselves to consult with a Virginia Beach divorce attorney who can help them find the answers to these questions and lead them toward a just settlement.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and those of your family.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

3 Tips to Help with Separation in VA During the Holidays

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:00:00 EST

The holidays can present some unique challenges when you're getting separated in Virginia. This is an emotional time of year, but taking some simple steps now can help you get on the road to coping with separation.

Three Useful Tips to Help You through Separation in VA during the Holiday Season

First, self care is important but often falls by the wayside when we're stressed and busy, and if you're going through a separation during the holidays, you’re likely feeling both of those. Be sure you're getting adequate rest, nutrition, and downtime.

Second, plan ahead. Make a schedule and stick with it, and be sure not to overburden yourself with too many tasks to do or events to attend.

Third, creating new holiday traditions can be a good way of coping with separation. It may not be possible to go forward with your usual family routine, but you can embrace the change as something positive and put your own unique spin on the holiday season.

There are specific rules for separation in Virginia. You and your spouse generally have to live apart and not act like a couple for 6 months to a year. If you reconcile with your spouse according to the rules the “separation clock” will be set back to the beginning. Be sure you continue adhering to the guidelines during the holiday season, even though it's a sentimental time that might temporarily make you emotional about your ex.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Prenups: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, after a Separation in VA

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you’re going through a separation in VA you need to revisit your prenuptial agreement to see if your assets have been well-protected. A divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach may be able to determine whether you have a solid prenuptial agreement.

A prenuptial agreement is defined as a contract between two people who are about to marry regarding their respective property and support rights upon termination of the marriage by divorce or death. It also may cover the property rights during the marriage.

Differences between Good and Bad Prenups

What are the differences between a good and a bad prenuptial agreement? A prenuptial agreement where one party is pressured into signing the paperwork is usually highly suspect. This is true particularly if one party is asked to sign it close to the wedding day without time for legal consultation. Additionally, a prenup that is unfair and obviously one-sided is not recommended for anyone.

A good prenuptial agreement will:

be between two consenting adults;
be entered into voluntarily by both parties;
have legal representation for both parties;
have full disclosure of assets and liabilities; and
be fair.

A separation in VA calls for a divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach to review your situation and applicable prenuptial agreement to help you proceed.

Contacting a Divorce Lawyer in Virginia Beach

At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and those of your family.

The Virginia Beach divorce lawyers at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Virginia Divorce Statutes and Pendente Lite

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

You've decided to end your marriage and have hired a Chesapeake divorce lawyer, now it's time for the first hearing. Virginia pendente lite hearings are designed to address the pressing matters in the divorce.

Separating couples go into a divorce with their lives intertwined. It can take a year or more for a divorce to be finalized, but there are issues that need immediate attention. Virginia statutes dictate that pendente lite orders can be issued regarding these important matters.

For example, it's not practical to wait until the divorce is finalized to have legal arrangements in place for the children of the marriage, so there may need to be temporary orders issued regarding:

health coverage for the children;
child custody; and
child support.

Divorce can be a major financial burden for the spouse with the lower income, so the court may issue temporary orders of financial support for the lower-earning spouse. There may also be decisions made regarding which spouse is responsible for the couple's debt.

The family home is also a major issue in a divorce that may be dealt with during a pendente lite hearing. While no final decisions about property division will be made, the court can issue a temporary order stating who has access to and use of the marital dwelling.

It's wise to have your Chesapeake divorce lawyer with you at the pendente lite hearing and throughout the entire divorce process since it can become complex.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Divorce in Virginia and your Friends: How to Avoid a Meltdown

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

As hard as it is for you, it can be equally difficult for your friends to learn you’re getting a divorce. In Virginia, like any major life change, divorce can change the dynamic between you and the important people in your life. A Virginia Beach divorce attorney for women may be able to help provide you with local resources to ease this transition time for you and your friends.

Where have all my friends gone?

If you are finding it hard to make contact with your friends since your choice to go solo, know that you are not alone. Many women find their friends do a disappearing act as they process a divorce.

Some reasons your friends might seem distant:

they don’t know what to say, which can be especially true when your friend knows both you and your husband. He or she may feel caught in the middle of the issues.
they fear they could be next. It's human nature to worry that whatever is happening to someone else might happen to you. Your friends may start to doubt the stability of their own relationships.
the conversation is one-sided. Your confidant may start to feel overloaded with divorce talk, and may miss sharing with you all the things going on in his or her life.

Try not to lose yourself in the divorce. In Virginia, you have the option of getting support from a Virginia Beach divorce attorney for women who can help get you back into your life.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney for Women

At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and those of your family.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.

Understanding Pendente Lite in a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 25 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

A divorce can take quite some time from start to finish, and it wouldn't be practical to let these issues go unaddressed until the divorce is finalized. In this instance, a Virginia pendente lite hearing is important because its purpose is to temporarily settle the pressing issues of the divorce, like child support, child custody, and the rights to the marital home.

The decisions made at a Virginia pendente lite hearing aren't final, but they can remain in effect for an extended period of time if the trial drags on. This can be a frustrating situation for you if the judgments aren't what you expected or wanted.

This is especially true when it comes to child custody arrangements. The court is not quick to change a child's living situation if it seems stable and acceptable, so the arrangement decided on during the pendente lite hearing could end up being kept in the final order. However, this may not happen in every case.

If you're facing a Virginia divorce, be sure to have your divorce attorney when you appear at your pendente lite hearing so that your rights and interests can be represented and you can have a better chance of a favorable outcome.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200

Introduction of a Virginia Pendente Lite Hearing

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you and your spouse are ending your marriage, you should become familiar with the terminology associated with divorce in Virginia. Pendente lite is one of the terms you may hear from your Hampton divorce attorney.

Pendente lite translates to "pending litigation." At a pendente lite hearing, the judge addresses the pressing matters in the divorce and makes temporary decisions regarding them. These temporary judgments often stay in effect until the final decisions are made during divorce litigation.

In a divorce, there are many important matters like the court needs to decide:

whether there will be spousal support;
how much child support needs to be paid;
which parent will have custody of the children; and
which spouse will be living in the marital home.

The court looks at much financial information along with your child's progression and happiness to make the decisions about support in pendente lite hearings. The decisions may be changed at a later time as the case goes on and further information is obtained.

Often, the date for the pendente lite hearing is sent along with the Complaint for Divorce. It's important that you appear at this hearing, and that you have your Hampton divorce attorney with you.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

4 Ways to Fight Holiday Weight Gain

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

You know the routine; the holidays approach and our best intentions - "I'll exercise everyday!" or "No processed foods or sugary sweets for me!" - fly out the window.

The New York Times says the average American gains 1 pound during the winter holiday season, but for many of us, that may seem a conservative estimate. It doesn't have to be that way!

Want to fight holiday weight gain and the reciprocal negative health effects? We've got 4 easy tips on how to keep off the extra pounds as you enjoy a happy and healthy holiday season.

Plan ahead - Got a full itinerary of holiday parties that you know will be filled with glorious dessert tables and free-flowing rivers of champagne? Before you head out to each event, picture yourself there and how you will interact with any temptation that will come your way. Come up with a plan to cope with multiple scenarios. It may be as simple as thinking "As soon as I walk in the door, I'll get a glass of sparkling water and a lime wedge so that I won't get off track by drinking all those cocktails."
Keep track of your calories - Even if you don't "journal" your eating choices the rest of the year, by committing to logging everything you ingest at all of your holiday gatherings, you're more likely to skip that extra Christmas cookie or second dollop of mashed potatoes.
Never go hungry - Before a big party or dinner event, eat a bowl of vegetable soup, an apple, or a handful of almonds. Showing up at a party famished can lead to overindulgence.
Sneak in physical activity wherever you can - The holidays can be a stressful time for many, and exercise can help you to take care of your physical and mental health. Whether it's a 20-minute walk after dinner or a morning routine of yoga, treat yourself to some daily activity.

5 Fun and Festive Holiday Ideas for the Home

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Not in the mood to drag out those dusty, musty boxes of outdated holiday decorations from the attic this year? If your holiday décor could use a serious update - but you're not looking to blow your entire holiday budget on tinsel and trimmings - we've got 5 easy and economical ideas on fun and festive holiday ideas for the home:

Keep it simple and sophisticated - You don't need to transform your house from top to bottom to affect the holiday look. A few tasteful items in a limited color palette, say, silver and red, will go a long way to creating a cohesive holiday look.
Light it up! - Use candles and votives to lend a romantic, soft feel to any room. Got little ones or pets that make open flames a serious hazard? Get a similar effect with battery-operated candles or by subbing out your regular light bulbs for a lower watt.
The nose has it - Use scented candles, potpourri, or cinnamon brooms (available at many specialty grocers) to give your home an instant holiday scent. Company coming over? Pop some cookies in the oven a few minutes before their arrival.
Switch things up - Giving your space a new feel can be as simple as rearranging the furniture in the room where you'll be spending most of your time. Move the couch to face the fireplace or the Christmas tree. Bring in more cozy chairs from another room; anything to lend that comfy vibe that says "holidays."
Spread the love - Leave a touch of the holidays in every room like seasonal towels in the kitchen or a pine-scented candle in the guest bathroom. Those little touches throughout the house can have a big impact.

Holiday Feast Makeover: 5 Healthy Recipe Substitutions

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Getting ready to host a holiday feast, but you or one of your guests is facing dietary restrictions? There's no reason a low-fat, low-sugar, or low-sodium holiday dish has to be any less inviting than the traditional preparation.

Below, we've got 5 easy swaps - as recommended by the Mayo Clinic - that you can make in your favorite holiday recipes. The results will be healthier, but just as tasty as the original!

Dry bread crumbs - a popular ingredient in casseroles and breaded meat dishes, you can kick up the flavor and trim the empty carbs by subbing in rolled oats or crushed bran cereal instead.
Iceberg lettuce - this dull leaf is low on flavor and practically non-existent when it comes to nutritional value. Try your favorite holiday salad with spinach, or for a real hearty taste, kale or arugula.
Seasoning salt - instead of sprinkling your potatoes with salt, try a mix of freshly ground pepper and dried rosemary instead. And pass on the garlic salt; choose garlic powder as an alternative.
Butter - applesauce is the go-to substitution for butter in many baked dishes, but feel free to experiment with prune puree as well!
Sugar - avoid a sugar overload in your baked goods by halving the sugar in your recipes and augmenting the flavor with a touch more vanilla extract, nutmeg, or cinnamon.

Family-Friendly Holiday Events in Virginia Beach

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

There are lots of ways to celebrate the season in and around Virginia Beach and now's the time to solidify your holiday 2011 plans. With that in mind, below are 3 Virginia Beach holiday events:

Founders Illumination - The Founders Inn & Spa, 5641 Indian River Rd., Virginia Beach will hold its tree-lighting ceremony on Sunday, Nov. 27. Can't make it that day? Not to worry, the Inn will host tons of holiday events throughout the season with plenty of opportunities to gape at the huge holiday displays. Call 757-424-5511 for details.
Holiday Parade at the Beach - Head to Virginia Beach's gorgeous resort area for the holiday parade on Atlantic Avenue. The shindig kicks off at 5:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 3 with giant balloons, marching bands, and all kinds of floats. Of course, Santa will be on hand to wish his loyal fans a happy holiday. Call 757-491-7866 for any questions.
McDonalds Holiday Lights at the Beach - This beachside lighting display is a playful nod to our community's nautical roots. Dolphins and fish are side by side with holiday favorites like Santa and his merry elves. Find the festive display in the resort area of the Virginia Beach Boardwalk. The display is open 5:30 to 10 p.m. nightly and continues through Jan. 1, 2012. Call 757-491-7866 for details and ticket prices.

Don't Blow Your Budget This Holiday Season! 3 Ways to Save Money

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

When the Christmas music is blasting on the radio well before Thanksgiving and you feel the warm embrace of the fireside at a friend's holiday get-together, it's easy to be sucked into the holiday spirit. Unfortunately, it's also easy to get sucked into the spending frenzy that can accompany the holidays.

An extra Christmas gift here - "I know I already bought her that sweater, but Susan would love this knit scarf, too!" - and a few last-minute events there - "What the heck - let's go to ‘The Nutcracker'!" - and you may soon find yourself overspending the holiday budget you set back in September.

Whether you actually established a holiday budget or you're flying by the seat of your pants, there are easy ways to save cash this holiday season without feeling like a Scrooge.

Here are 3 easy strategies to enter into the New Year without feeling like you're already in the red:

Find creative alternatives to costly endeavors - Do you usually host a huge blowout with all of your friends, family, and neighbors, complete with an ice sculpture and hired carolers? Scale down with a festive but financially sound shindig, like a holiday potluck and a screening of holiday classics. Ask everyone to bring the one dish that best represents the respective holiday, plus a print out of the recipe for everyone to share.
Go green and save big - Sad to say, but the traditional Christmas cards are going by the wayside; and for a reason. A well-designed e-card is a more affordable and green way to send your holiday wishes. Bonus: procrastinators don't have to fret about missing the United States Post Service's mailing deadlines.
Give the gift of your time - Can't afford to get a gift for everyone on your list of usual suspects? Donate your time or talents, instead. Know a friend who needs help repainting her living room? Give her a card with a Photoshopped image of the two of you in overalls and a thought bubble saying "Good for 5 hours of my painting services! Happy holidays!" So much better than another bottle of lotion or a cookbook!

Child Custody in Virginia: Helping Child Cope after Divorce

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Handling a divorce when you have kids is a difficult experience. Your Virginia Beach divorce attorney for women will help you through the legal aspects of your case, but parenting after divorce is up to you.

Your children need you more than ever during this trying time, and with a solid strategy in place, you can work through the tough times together:

Encourage open, honest communication. You may be surprised at some of the things your children may say to you, but try to remain non-judgmental and give them the comfort and support they need.
Manage your money. Studies show that economic conditions play a large role in how children adjust emotionally after divorce. While you may not be able to avoid the financial setbacks divorce often brings, you can create and abide by a realistic budget, and explain your money-saving choices to your kids in a positive way.
Stay involved. It is best if both parents remain involved in the children's lives to whatever extent they're able. Parenting after divorce isn't easy and co-parenting can be even trickier, but it's worth it in the scheme of things.
See a professional if necessary. A licensed family therapist can help you and your children work through difficult issues. Check online, ask a friend, or ask your Virginia Beach divorce attorney for women for a reference.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Understanding the Grounds for Annulment in Virginia

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

What are the grounds for annulment in Virginia? In Virginia, annulment has a strict set of rules. Most marriages don't meet the qualifications to be annulled, and will have to be ended through divorce. If you're considering annulment, it's a good idea to learn about the guidelines that apply to it.

The first type of marriage that qualifies for annulment is one in which there was a problem or defect in the ceremony itself, making it illegal from the start:

if the person who performed the ceremony wasn't a licensed officiate;
if the partners were close blood relatives; and
if one of the partners was married to someone else at the time of the wedding ceremony.

The second kind of marriage that can be dissolved by Virginia annulment is one where a partner withheld an important piece of information from the other. The most common examples would be cases in which a partner fails to mention his or her infertility, a previous sex change operation or some other major issue that would have an affect on the marriage.

Fraud is the third ground for annulment in Virginia. Fraud is when one partner intentionally tries to trick the other for financial gain or other reasons. This can happen in "green card" marriages and scams and well as other situations.

These annulment grounds can sometimes be difficult to prove. If you want to know whether an annulment is possible in your case, speak with an attorney right away.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Defining Annulment in Virginia

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're considering annulment in Virginia, you should be familiar with what Virginia annulment is and how Virginia family law handles this method of dissolving a marriage. By speaking with a Virginia family law attorney you can avoid any cases of mistaken filing for annulment or otherwise.

If you watch TV, movies, or read tabloids, you might think that annulment is reasonably common and not very difficult to obtain. A celebrity might get married in Las Vegas and then, upon realizing her decision was the result of alcohol-fueled impulsiveness, have the marriage annulled the following day.

There are plenty of misconceptions about what annulment really is and how it works. Annulment isn't just a divorce that's granted when the couple has been married for only a short time; it's the legal act of erasing a marriage entirely. Couples are eligible for annulment only if their marriage is found to have been null and void in the first place.

For example, take a look at actress Renee Zellweger and country star Kenny Chesney. After a speedy courtship, the pair married on a beach in the Virgin Islands. Four months later, Zellweger filed for an annulment on the grounds of fraud.

Neither Zellweger nor Chesney ever publicly discussed the details of their marriage's demise, but fraud would indeed be a valid legal ground for annulment in Virginia and many other jurisdictions.

For answers to further questions about annulment, you should speak with a Virginia family law attorney right away.

Contacting a Virginia Family Law Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar -.

The Virginia family law attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. - 757-425-5200.

Choosing the Best Time to Get a Divorce in Virginia

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Life is full of surprises, and unfortunately they're not always pleasant ones. If you're getting a divorce in Virginia, you may not have that much say in scheduling your split, but if you do have the choice, choose wisely. Your timing can greatly affect your post-divorce finances.

While there's no perfect time for divorce, there are certain conditions in life that can make the transition easier, and it's all about timing:

Before receiving an inheritance. If you're expecting to inherit money or assets, you should divorce before the inheritance comes into your possession. That way, it'll be all yours and not end up being considered marital property.
When your children are in high school. When it comes to finances, divorcing while the kids are older may have some benefits. The child support payer may only have to fulfill that obligation for a few years. Also, if a child is applying to colleges, living with a single parent may help him or her receive financial aid.
When housing prices are strong. If you and your ex are looking to sell the house, you may benefit from divorcing in a sellers market that may allow you to cover your mortgage and walk away with some money left over.
When your credit is good. It's best to go into a divorce with credit that's good enough to weather the storm and allow you to obtain the things you will need in order to start your new single life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Overview of Virginia Annulment Due to Marital Defect

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

There are several reasons why a couple may be granted an annulment in Virginia. Under Virginia family law, a marriage may be annulled due to marital defect as well as other grounds.

What is marital defect? It's a legal problem with the marriage that made it null and void at its inception. It means that the marriage didn't legally happen or shouldn't have taken place.

There are several scenarios to which this can apply:

if one or both partners were underage at the time of the marriage and didn't have proper parental permission to legally marry;
in cases of consanguinity (the partners are close relatives) which applies whether or not they knew they were related at the time of marriage; and
if one of the spouses was married before and never legally got divorced from him or her.

If your marriage falls into one of these categories, you're likely eligible for an annulment; however, you should seek the advice of an attorney. Even if a marriage was considered invalid from the start, it's still a good idea to have legal counsel on your side to help you separate your life from that of your ex-partner. This is especially true if you have children or own joint property. A Virginia family law attorney can get you on the road to recovering from your annulment and getting on with your life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Virginia Child Custody: Child Coping with Absentee Father

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

When your marriage is over, you and your children may be facing changes that come with divorce and Virginia child custody arrangements. If you're the custodial parent, your kids may need time to adjust to the loss of their father from the home.

While parenting after divorce can be a challenging experience, it can also be one that brings your family closer.

Be honest with your children. Talk to them about the changes that are taking place in your lives and what they can expect. Kids are often upset by a change in routine, but preparation and reassurance can help ease the transition.
Encourage your children to talk to you. Communication is an essential part of successful parenting after divorce. Your kids may be going through some heavy emotions and need a loving, non-judgmental and supportive parent to hear them out.
Avoid insulting talk about the ex in front of the kids. It can be hard to control your emotions during such a challenging time, but it's best to explain their father's absence in a neutral way so that you don't inadvertently put them in the middle of the drama.
Take care of yourself, too. Find a support system of trusted friends and family you can vent your feelings. You can also seek the services of a licensed family therapist who can help you and your children through the challenges of Virginia child custody arrangements and other emotional aspects of divorce.

Contacting Virginia Child Support Lawyers

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Truth about Annulment in Virginia: What Circumstances Qualify

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 08:00:00 EST

Due to some popular misconceptions surrounding annulment, it can be hard to know just what exactly qualifies as grounds for annulment in Virginia. Once you know the guidelines you can decide whether your marriage can be annulled or whether you should seek a Virginia divorce instead.

The grounds for annulment in Virginia are:

Marital defect. This is when the marriage was not legal to begin with for whatever reason. For example, if one of the partners was still married to someone else at the time.
Fraud. This is when the marriage is a sham designed for monetary gain or another dishonest reason; and
Failure to inform the other of an important piece of information. This is usually information that is likely to have an effect on the marriage.

The following are NOT grounds for annulment:

you've ceased to be attracted to your spouse;
you changed your mind about the marriage; and
your partner decides he or she no longer wants to live with you, or moves to a different state.

The question of whether you are eligible for annulment or if you should seek a Virginia divorce is best answered by an attorney. You don't want to waste your time pursuing a course of law that is not applicable to your situation.
Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Getting a Divorce in Virginia: Choosing Your Child Custody Attorney

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're a parent getting a divorce in Virginia, child custody issues are among the most pressing and emotionally charged matters you may encounter. You should decide wisely when choosing the Virginia child custody attorney who can handle your case:

You can seek out an attorney by doing research online and checking with your local Bar Association. You can also ask family and friends for referrals.
Be sure that you and your lawyer can get along. A custody case can take time, and you probably will be spending lots of time with the attorney you choose. Of course you should seek a lawyer who exudes honesty and trustworthiness, and who is sympathetic to what you are going through.
You will want an attorney who is neatly dressed, well spoken, and respectful. Appearance and presentation matter in court.
When choosing a Virginia child custody attorney, it's important to ask questions. How does this lawyer charge (hourly rate, flat fee, etc.)? What is his or her experience with child custody cases? Will the lawyer be delegating your case to someone else at the firm?

By choosing the right lawyer, you can go into your custody case with confidence and look forward to building a new life for yourself and your children after getting divorced in Virginia.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The "Ins" and "Outs" of Living Together While Separated in Virginia

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're facing a Virginia divorce, you may be wondering if living together while separated is an option for you. The answer varies from couple to couple. In general, the courts don't look kindly on in-home separation, but in some cases it may be allowed.

Virginia requires that a couple be separated for 6 months to 1 year before being granted a divorce and normally the couple lives at separate addresses during this period; however, in some cases, the court may accept a couple being separated but are living in the same house.

There are very detailed guidelines for living together while separated. This is necessary to make sure the separation is genuine.

The couple needs to prove to the court that they're living their lives as 2 single people rather than as a married unit including:

ceasing sexual intimacy;
getting separate bank accounts;
no longer sharing meals; and
many other stipulations.

It's also important that the couple no longer present themselves as a married couple to their friends, family and community. They need to be up-front about their separated status.

When you're considering Virginia divorce, you should take time to look at all your options and discuss them with your divorce attorney. Doing so can give you a better picture of what lies ahead for you and make better educated decisions.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar .

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. - 757-425-5200.

Surviving Virginia Separation under the Same Roof

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Can you be separated and live in the same house? This question is sometimes asked by couples who are divorcing. Normally, you and your spouse should be living apart when separated, but in some cases there may be exceptions that allow you to pursue Virginia separation under the same roof.

Couples may choose to live together during separation for several reasons, financial reasons being the most common. While separation under the same roof may seem more convenient than supporting separate households, couples should be aware of the realities of this arrangement.

Judges generally disapprove of a couple cohabiting during separation, simply because it's so difficult to prove that they're actually separated, which is why very detailed guidelines are set such as some of the following:

keep separate checking accounts;
try their best to maintain separate living spaces within the same house;
prepare and eat meals separately;
cease presenting themselves as a couple;
explain, in writing, why they chose to have VA separation under the same roof; and
have a 3rd party observe them at home to see that they're not living as a couple.

So, if you're asking the question "Can you be separated and live under the same roof?" the answer is technically yes, but with many stipulations. Speak with your divorce attorney about your separation options.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Pat Robertson's Controversial Advice on Alzheimer's Disease & Divorce

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Televangelist Pat Robertson caused quite a stir with his controversial comments on Alzheimer's disease and divorce. With early onset Alzheimer's on the rise, it's vital for couples to prepare themselves early on with long-term health directives, something a Virginia Beach divorce attorney for women can help you create.

Robertson sparked a lot of unsettling emotions and comments from the religious community when he made statements that justified a divorce when one spouse has Alzheimer's disease. Divorce, especially in cases where there's an ailing spouse, is a heated topic amongst the Christian community.

He made comments that Alzheimer's was, in itself, is a "walking death," and that he wouldn't put people "on a guilt trip" if they wanted a divorce, according to ABC News. This put other religious leaders, as well as medical and social workers who work with families affected by Alzheimer's, in an uproar.

Regardless of a person's marital or religious beliefs, it's devastating when a spouse is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It's a hard journey that each couple will react differently to, and no one can foresee the future.

It's important to have a living will in place in the event that such a tragedy occurs. If rough waters lay ahead, it's much better to be prepared if one spouse becomes incapacitated. A Virginia Beach divorce attorney for women can help lay out a long-term health plan that provides a feeling of security and actionable steps for spouses.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney for Women

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Virginia Beach divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Divorce Etiquette Guide: Handling 4 Uncomfortable Situations

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorces have a ripple effect; they don't just affect the couple going through the divorce, but their friends and family, too. Understanding divorce etiquette can help you in these uncomfortable situations. If you're the one that's contemplating divorce, you'll need a good divorce attorney in Virginia Beach.

Divorce Etiquette for Uncomfortable Situations

There are basic guidelines that can help navigate 4 common uncomfortable social situations surrounding a divorce:

First Response - upon hearing the news of your friend's divorce plans, it can be difficult to know how to react. Try simply saying "I'm here for you" and then offer her the support and friendship she needs.
Money Issues - after a divorce, if your friend shies away from outings with you due to money difficulties, try dreaming up ways to go out that doesn't cost money.
Choosing Sides - when you have friends that are divorcing, avoid the temptation to choose sides; keep the peace by simply being supportive and understanding to both parties.
Big News - if you have a new relationship or engagement on your hands, you can share the news with your divorced friend, provided you don't rub it in. Be gentle and sensitive when sharing good news and back off if she becomes noticeably upset.

Also, if your friend is in need of a good divorce attorney in Virginia Beach, you can help her scout one out and support her throughout her journey.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

6 Steps to Reduce Your Breast Cancer Risk

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. With that in mind, below are 6 steps-based on findings from the Mayo Clinic and Susan G. Komen for the Cure-you can take to protect your health and possibly reduce your chances of having breast cancer:

Get moving! - We know - you hear it again and again, but physical activity really is the key to fighting numerous health hazards, from obesity to diabetes and certainly breast cancer.
Watch those cocktails - One small (emphasis on the small, here) glass of red wine daily may provide important antioxidants to protect your heart from disease, but consuming more than 1 drink daily for women/2 drinks for men seriously increases a person's breast cancer risk.
Get screened - Perform monthly self-exams and do not wait to talk to your doctor about when you should begin receiving mammography. Women who are high risk may need to begin much earlier than those who are not, and they may require special screening methods.
Practice healthy eating habits - While some may claim that certain foods will reduce your risk of cancer, there is no definitive connection between, say, fresh fruits and veggies, and fighting cancer. That being said, maintaining a healthy weight through diet is integral to managing risk.
Seek alternatives to HRT - Hormone replacement therapy has been shown to increase a woman's risk of breast cancer. Talk to your doctor about your own risk and what alternatives exist to HRT.
Do some digging into your family tree - Be sure you know your family medical history as far back as possible, and share this info with your OB/GYN.

Breast cancer can't always be prevented, but by managing certain risk factors, you will take big steps to protecting your overall health.

4 Ways to Create a More Colorful Home

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

In an eggshell/oatmeal/beige/cream funk? Adding some pops of color to your decorating scheme can really liven up a living space, which is not a terrible idea considering you'll likely be spending more time indoors in the coming months. If your last foray into home décor still gives you shivers - that eggplant wall seemed like a great idea at the time! - we've got 4 tips to help you master color use in the home:

Follow the 60-30-10 rule - Give 60% (wall space) to a dominant color, 30% (upholstery) to the second-tier color and the remaining 10% to the room's accessories.
Balance is everything - You don't want one side of the room to dominate the other, so consider a power flow wherein the darkest colors live on the floor (for instance, a dark stain on a wood floor), with medium shades existing on the walls and the lighter paint shade used for the ceiling.
Transition from one room to the next - Use one color to help transition from one room to the next. Say, for instance, your kitchen opens directly into your dining room. You could use a bold Cardinal red vase on the dining room table and match it to the hand towels used in the kitchen to create a nice cross reference.
Think locally - Try referencing a locale or season when choosing a color scheme. For instance, maybe give a nod to our gorgeous Virginia coastline with soothing shades of blues, browns and green.

4 Tips to Fix Your Credit Score

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

You know your personal value can't be measured with a number, but to banks, lenders, landlords, car dealerships and the like, your worth is tied to that all-important figure in the personal finances world; the credit score.

Whether your score has taken a beating with the economic downturn or you're looking to pump up your number before you try to secure a mortgage, here are 4 ways you can improve your credit score:

1. Investigate - Request a free copy of your credit report and go over it with a fine-toothed comb, looking for errors and inconsistencies. Don't let a clerical mistake-or worse, identity theft-wreak havoc on your good credit.

2. Automate - Even the most organized woman can let the due date for a cell phone or insurance payment slip by once in awhile. Unfortunately, being a few days late on a bill can impact your score. Set up auto-pay on as many bills as you are able.

3. Maintain - Excited that you paid off a credit card that has been hanging around for months or years? You should be, but don't close the account just yet. The powers-that-be like to see that you've maintained accounts over a span of time, so as tempting as it may be, don't cut and run.

4. Act - Be conscious and take action to improve your credit score. This means proving that you can be responsible with your financial commitments, but it also means knowing when to pull the trigger. When you are applying for a loan, be wary of shopping around for too long, as multiple credit checks performed by lenders actually damage your report.

There is no quick or easy fix for a damaged credit score, but with these few tips you'll be on your way to bouncing back to solid financial footing!

7 Autumnal Virginia Crops that Belong On Your Dinner Table

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Fall means harvest time and locavores (those who love to shop for and consume local foods and drink) can fill the pantry with fresh, locally grown produce. Those of us in Virginia Beach are fortunate to have resources like the City of Virginia Beach Farmers Market open on a year-round basis, but it certainly pays to stock up while fall classics are fresh and in abundant supply.

Below are 7 crops that are at their peak in Virginia during fall and yummy ways to use them:

Apples - sweeten a curried sweet potato stew with diced apples or applesauce;
Escarole - throw a pound of chopped escarole into a pot of white bean soup and don't forget the freshly chopped garlic;
Fennel - try roasting fennel bulbs in the oven topped with olive oil, fresh pepper and shaved parmesan;
Parsnips - roast in the oven with other root veggies, like turnips;
Pumpkins - puree pumpkin and add it to your pasta dishes, like lasagna;
Winter squash (acorn, butternut) - perfect for hearty soups or chopped and oven roasted; and
Turnips - roast in the oven with mushroom caps for a hearty vegetable side.

Enjoy these fall flavors with your family and experience the health benefits of consuming fresh, local produce!

3 Ideas for Fall Travel in Virginia

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Can't swing an exotic getaway this fall? No problem! Who needs a passport and the hassle of airline travel when Virginia is home to some of the most gorgeous vistas imaginable? Whether you're looking for a romantic getaway for two, a weekend with the gals, or a quick trip for the whole fam, you can find plenty of options that are close to home and easy on the pocketbook.

Below are 3 of your fun options for fall travel in Virginia:

Girls Weekend - October is Virginia Wine Month and what better excuse to tour the countryside than visiting local wineries and vineyards? The tourism site of the Commonwealth of Virginia offers a full run-down of all Wine Month activities broken down by region, from Central Virginia to Chesapeake Bay, to the Blue Ridge Highlands, so you can plan your road trip accordingly.
Romantic Getaway - There's a reason they say Virginia is for lovers. Head to lake country in Southern Virginia, where you can view the last of the fall colors, go for a hike, and relax by the fireside in a historic hotel while sipping a glass of locally made wine. Doesn't get more simple or romantic than that!
Family Fun - Fall is a great time to show the kids around the many historic districts in Virginia, like Fredericksburg. Not only can you peep at the leaves, but you'll get to indulge in Halloween activities and other seasonal fun.

Take some time to explore your home state - you might just be surprised what adventure you can find!

Losing hair during your Virginia divorce? Let's Examine the Link

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Everyone who has been through a divorce knows just how much stress can pile up during a divorce. In Virginia, many women have experienced hair loss or thinning hair during this time and researchers have finally made a connection. For help in dealing with stress and new responsibilities as a resident of Hampton, a divorce attorney can help.

A study conducted at Case Western Reserve University found that the strongest predictor of hair loss in woman was marital status. It's been understood for decades that stress is a major factor in hair loss, and there's no doubt that going through a divorce can be one of the most stressful times of a woman's life.

Thinning hair, especially in a society that overemphasizes outer beauty, can be extremely painful and embarrassing for a woman; however, because stress is a lifestyle factor, it can be controlled.

In other words, when you take steps to alleviate or reduce your stress, your body can begin to return to its natural healthy state, which includes your hair. You may not be able to change your divorce, but you can change how you deal with it.

To stop hair loss you can try stress-management techniques like:

mediation;
counseling;
exercising; and
reducing the number of stress-inducing responsibilities you have, such as dealing with the legal hassles of divorce.

Virginia residents living in Hampton, call a divorce attorney to discuss your case and get the help you need in handling the burden of divorce.

Contacting a Hampton Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Virginia Beach divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Red Sox's Lackey Files for Divorce from Wife Battling Cancer

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Despite Red Sox pitcher John Lackey's wife's battle with cancer, divorce was recently filed, making a tough situation even more stressful for the couple. If you're getting divorced in Virginia, especially if one partner is dealing with a serious illness in Norfolk, a divorce attorney is the next person with whom you should speak.

Complications of Divorce in Virginia

A sudden and serious illness can affect a number of aspects of a person's life, which might affect the overall health of their marriage too:

intimacy - personal identity, fertility, and physical intimacy may be affected;
finances - medical bills and the loss of income that can come with a long-term illness can wreak havoc on a couple's financial stability; and
strain - the physical, emotional, and psychological effects of cancer can have an adverse effect on marital health, including each spouse's roles and responsibilities.

It's likely that for couples struggling with an illness such as cancer, divorce is attributed to a number of factors and martial problems, not just ill-health. John Lackey, who was already struggling with his career, filed for divorce on August 30, claiming, "The marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities."

For couples in which one spouse is battling long-term health problems and getting divorced in Norfolk, a divorce attorney can discuss some important factors that maybe weren't taken into consideration. Since health insurance and long-term care are essential in these divorce cases in Virginia, legal advice from a divorce attorney can be invaluable.

Getting a divorce in Norfolk? A Divorce Attorney Help

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Virginia Beach divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

What Kind of Attorney Should Handle My Virginia Military Divorce?

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Your Virginia military divorce differs in many ways from civilian divorce. If you or your husband served time in the armed forces and you are considering ending your marriage, you should speak to a Chesapeake divorce lawyer who understands military divorce law.

Many women going through divorce while serving or married to someone serving in the military find that they run into many difficulties during the divorce process.

Military divorcées have to deal with:

military benefits;
filing jurisdiction; and
delays that result from the military member's career obligations.

A Judge Advocate General (JAG) can't represent someone in court for a divorce case, and while they can give basic advice, they often can't offer much in the way of detailed guidance. You should seek the advice of your Chesapeake divorce lawyer.

Unfortunately, not all lawyers have experience handling cases that involve military couples. They may not be well versed in the state and federal laws involved or be sympathetic to the unique experience of getting divorced while in the military community.

It's important to have a knowledgeable, experienced divorce attorney on your side when you're facing a Virginia military divorce, so that he or she can address all the aspects of the process and help you get the best possible outcome.

Contacting a Chesapeake Divorce Lawyer

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Free Military Divorce Book for Virginia Women Contemplating Divorce

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're a woman facing the end of your marriage, knowledge is power. The free military divorce book from your Virginia Beach divorce attorney can help by giving you practical tips and information on many aspects of this legal process.

While life in the Armed Forces offers many benefits, it can also be quite challenging for a couple. Relationships can face major stressors like overseas deployment, long work hours, and trauma resulting from battle. Sometimes these difficulties can push a couple's relationship to the point where they feel divorce is the only answer.

Military divorce can be trickier than civilian divorce in many ways. This is because it's governed by both state and federal laws. There are issues like military housing, retired pay and other matters that fall under very specific government rules.

It's not always easy for military wives to find thorough, dependable legal advice when they're facing a divorce. The military's Judge Advocate General (JAG) can give general information, but many military spouses don't find the advice as complete as they would like it to be.

Getting your free military divorce book from our law firm will help you better understand the military divorce process. Your Virginia Beach divorce attorney has the tools necessary to face this challenging time in your life with confidence knowing that your case is in the hands of experienced professionals that know the law.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

5 Rules to Remember for Child Custody during Virginia Military Divorce

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're in the military and you're facing a Virginia child custody case, you should get acquainted with the rules and regulations involved. Our Free Virginia Military Divorce Book can help you learn more about the upcoming process.

Child Custody Case in Your Virginia Military Divorce

Divorce for military members differs in many ways from any other divorce, but the child custody aspect is very much the same:

The best interests of the child will be top priority. You and your attorney will need to provide the evidence that supports your case. Your free Virginia Military Divorce Book will provide you with more detailed information.
Don't try to alienate the children from their father. The courts take parental alienation behavior seriously, so try to be friendly and co-operative.
It's not about who is at "fault" in the divorce.Custody is meant to be for the good of the children.
Don't move out temporarily and leave the children with your husband if you are having trouble at home, unless you want the court to award him custody.
You should consider seeing a family therapist to help you with co-parenting after divorce if you and your spouse are having ongoing disagreements about discipline or other matters. The court will try not to favor one parenting style over another unless the parenting practices endanger the child in some way.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Throwing a Divorce Shower: A Therapeutic Virginia Divorce Trend

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Upon first hearing about a divorce party, it may seem somewhat odd or tasteless, but many women actually find that having closure can be therapeutic after their divorce. In Virginia, if you're going through a separation or divorce, you can contact a Virginia Beach divorce attorney who can guide you through each step of the process.

The emotional turmoil and stress that comes with divorce weighs heavily on almost everyone who goes through a divorce. And everyone deals with the impact of these changes in their own ways.

For many women, throwing a divorce shower can help put a positive spin on the transition, which can instill a sense of sisterhood among friends and help them feel like they're moving forward with their lives.

If you're thinking of hosting a divorce party, feel free to use your creativity and let your lighter, happier side shine.

You might consider:

planning a guest list that consists of divorced or happily separated women;
holding the party in a setting that's neither romantic (dark, cozy restaurants) nor terribly crowded (karaoke bars);
decorating in a humorous theme and keeping the atmosphere light; and
serving fun, tasty foods (it's OK to be indulgent sometimes).

Having a divorce shower may not be for everyone, but it can serve as a great way for women to pull themselves out of the doldrums and to mark their journey into a new, happier life.

If you are going through a divorce in Virginia and have questions specific to your case, you'll want to consult a Virginia Beach divorce attorney with experience helping women through this transitory time of their lives.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 1-757-425-5200.

Dangers of Non-Professional Advice for Your Separation in VA

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're going through a separation in VA, your friends and family will likely try to offer you divorce advice, oftentimes unsolicited. While their intentions may be good, you run the risk of making costly mistakes if you adhere to divorce advice from non-professionals instead of consulting with an experienced Norfolk divorce lawyer.

Divorce law is specialized and complex. Unless the advice comes from a divorce lawyer or certified divorce financial analyst, your friend might not fully understand the situation and could unintentionally give you bogus advice.

Think about it: you wouldn't take diet and nutrition advice from your auto mechanic, nor would you take financial investment advice from your restaurant server.

A divorce is no different. There are highly complicated areas of divorce law that non-professionals are likely not familiar.

An experienced attorney can teach you about:

pension divisions;
QDROs;
distribution laws; and
military divorce regulations like the USFSPA.

Each divorce is unique and what may have worked well for your friends or family won't necessarily apply to your case. Even if the advice you've received comes from a professional of sorts, if he or she isn't experienced in Virginia divorce law, it's generally wise to avoid blindly following the counsel.

It's far wiser and safer to take your case to a Norfolk divorce lawyer who knows all the fine print involved in divorces and can help you make informed decisions during your separation in VA.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Lawyer

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Norfolk divorce lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, helping you with divorce details, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Divorce Hotel: Couples Undergo Divorce Mediation in the Lap of Luxury

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

In the Netherlands, a new way to settle divorce is rising: the divorce hotel. It's a way for couples to end their marriage via mediation and in luxury. The trend hasn't yet spread to America, though, and those getting a divorce in Virginia will likely still need to speak to a Virginia divorce lawyer before finalizing their separation.

For some Dutch couples, settling a divorce in style at a luxury hotel of choice is actually now a possibility. With the aid of mediators, couples can spend three days at the hotel and settle their differences much more quickly than traditional methods.

Most of these divorce hotel experiences are sans attorneys but do have other professionals available to assist the mediation process, such as notaries and psychologists.

This 5-star divorce hotel experience may cost several thousand dollars but is typically cheaper than traditional or contested divorces. Currently, this practice is available only in the Netherlands but may begin in Germany soon. Will America be next?

This new luxury mediation option may help ease pain and simplify divorce for some couples, but naturally, it's not for everyone. If you're getting a divorce in Virginia, learning how world views on marriage are changing may help bring a larger and welcome perspective during this time of your life.

For couples in Virginia, a divorce lawyer will be an invaluable resource in helping things run smoothly and creating a workable plan that protects your best interests. It may not be a Dutch divorce hotel experience, but you'll certainly appreciate having a knowledgeable legal advocate on your side.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Lawyer

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 1-757-425-5200.

Broken Heart Divorce Rings: Latest Vogue Virginia Divorce Trend

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

It may seem impolite or outrageous to some, but divorce rings are now being marketed to people going through a divorce. If you're working with a Virginia Beach divorce attorney and getting divorced in Virginia, you might be fascinated to learn that divorce rings are the new divorce trend, marking couples' transition to single life.

Several jewelry dealers are now offering lavish gold divorce rings with a broken heart design and a diamond positioned in the center. As opposed to a wedding ring that symbolizes commitment, the divorce ring is a symbol of the severing of ties.

Some people may see the divorce ring as insensitive or extravagant, but it's akin to the divorce party and "divorcemoon" trend that many women find comforting.

If you're getting divorced in Virginia, you may find that having something to mark the beginning of your new life, such as divorce ring or a party, can be very instrumental and cathartic. It can also serve as a visual clue to friends about your new identity.

It's definitely not for everyone, though, and might even act as a painful reminder of your heartbreak.

It's a good idea to work through your emotional issues surrounding your divorce with a licensed therapist and devise a healthy plan for moving on with your new life. Speak to your Virginia Beach divorce attorney and ask for referrals to local counselors who can help you through this significant time.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Virginia Beach divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Avoiding 401(k) Division Mistakes When Getting Divorced in Virginia

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

When a couple decides to get divorced in Virginia, they oftentimes think they have all the major issues smoothed out, such as their 401(k) division. Unfortunately, due to simple errors, many couples wind up making huge retirement division mistakes, but consulting with a divorce attorney in Virginia Beach can help prevent these 401(k) mishaps.

Even in the cases where a couple agrees to divide the 401(k) assets fairly, matters can still go astray. Most mistakes are made during the settlement phase of divorce, specifically with the way the Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is handled.

The QDRO is the order that allows employers to pay retirement benefits to an employee's former spouse. If the wording isn't precise and crystal clear, the couple could wind up agreeing to a deal they don't completely understand, which may have disastrous results.

For example, if a couple agrees to split the husband's 401(k) down the middle, and the separation agreement only says that the wife gets $25,000 from the balance, that's exactly what she'll get, even if the 401(k) balance later goes down due to stock market fluctuations.

If that 401(k) suffered losses by payout time, the wife would still get her $25,000, and the husband would have to take the brunt of the financial loss.

These types of incidences happen all too frequently when couples get divorced in Virginia but can be avoided with careful planning and by hiring a professional to handle the important financial matters in the divorce. An attorney in Virginia Beach can help couples throughout Virginia with the entire divorce process.

Contacting a Divorce Attorney in Virginia Beach

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 1-757-425-5200.

A Virginia Beach divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

4 Rules to Follow When Texting Your Ex After Getting Divorced in Virginia

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 08:00:00 EST

Texting, albeit a quick and convenient form of communicating with someone, can actually wind up getting you into trouble after getting divorced in Virginia. If you're going through a divorce in Hampton, a divorce lawyer can explain how to use texting and email appropriately with your ex and how to avoid common texting catastrophes.

Texting your ex can be beneficial sometimes, such as when you need to give quick, factual information ("I'm right on schedule and will be there to pick up Lucy at 6:00) or when trying to filter out anger and other emotions that may cause unnecessary strain.

It's a good idea to set a few ground rules before hitting the "send" button on your next text to your ex, such as:

Don't send out messages too frequently so that you don't appear to be a bully or a pest;
Don't use a text message to discuss heated or sensitive issues when a face-to-face discussion would be more appropriate;
Don't use it to give bad or unpleasant news to your ex; and
Don't type anything that you wouldn't want a judge or your children to see.

Words really can cause harm, so it's prudent to be careful with how you use them. When getting divorced in Virginia, it's best to avoid doing or saying anything that could come back to hurt you or your children in the future.

If you're in the midst of a separation in Hampton, a divorce lawyer is a good resource not only for handling all the legalities, but also for helping you understand your rights and entitlements and alleviating some of your worries.

Contacting a Hampton Divorce Lawyer

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 1-757-425-5200.

If you're undergoing a marital separation in Hampton, a divorce lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

10 Steps to Prepare to File a for a Military Divorce in Virginia

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

The military divorce process involves many steps and can be a bit confusing for someone not familiar with the laws. Our free Virginia military divorce guide can help you get acquainted with the legal aspects of ending your marriage.

Before you start the divorce process you can prepare by completing these 10 steps:

Consult an attorney. This should be done before you take any other steps.
Write a brief history of your marriage for your attorney, citing all vital information like the date of your marriage, birth dates of children, any prior separations, etc.
Gather all the documentation you need to show what you own and what you owe, including marital and separate property.
Create a list that includes the assets you'd like to keep and those you could let go. Consult a financial professional to determine your best options.
Transfer your share of any joint accounts into a separate account under your name.
Set aside some money to use during the beginning of your separation.
Pay bills and credit debt from money in joint accounts before you separate. That way you won't be saddled with them yourself afterward.
After separating, notify creditors that you'll no longer be liable for your spouse's debts.
Before separating, open a post office box in your name.
Look into various career options and begin to imagine your life after divorce. This can be a scary time, but it can also be a time of great opportunities.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Virginia Spousal Support Calculation Basics

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorce can bring many financial challenges for a woman. Virginia spousal support can help you make the transition from 2 incomes to 1 as you begin your new life as a single person. Your Newport News divorce attorney will work toward getting you a fair support settlement.

One of the most common questions about spousal support is, "how much will I get?" Understand that each case is unique and a Virginia family court will determine the amount of spousal support that's appropriate for your situation.

Virginia Spousal Support Guidelines

There are guidelines to help calculate Virginia spousal support, but there are often other factors that go into the judge's decisions:

age and health of the parties;
duration of the marriage;
monetary and non-monetary contributions of both parties;
earning capacity of both parties (including skills, education, and training);
property interests of the parties; and
as well as other factors.

If no child support is involved, the higher-paid spouse pays the recipient 30% of gross income minus 50% of the lower earning spouse's income. If child support is involved, the payer pays the recipient 28% of his gross income less 58% of the recipient's gross income.

If you're facing a divorce case and are concerned about spousal support, you should speak with a Newport News divorce attorney as soon as possible.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Don't Undersell Your Value During a Virginia Divorce

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're going through a divorce, you should be aware of the non-monetary contributions you made to your marriage. Referring to your attorney's free Virginia divorce booklet can help you put it all in order.

Listing non-monetary contributions can play a role in helping a family court judge decide on spousal support. This is especially important to women who have left the workforce to raise their children, and may have a difficult time finding work after the divorce.

Wives and mothers are some of the busiest people in the world. Whether or not they work outside the home, they perform a wide variety of jobs that are vitally important in the everyday scheme of life.

Some examples of non-monetary contributions that mothers do daily:

Cooking;
cleaning;
laundry;
repairs;
homework help;
driving the family to and from various appointments;
planning/organizing the schedule; and
moral/religious instruction.

These are only some of the many things you can list as your contributions to your marriage. Take your time and be thorough when making your list.

You may have been performing these tasks for years without ever really thinking much about them, but now is the time to give yourself some recognition. Your divorce will be a pivotal event in your life. You and your attorney should do whatever you can to make sure you're treated fairly. Your free Virginia divorce booklet can be a useful tool in helping you through this challenging time.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

The Timeline of Spousal Support in Virginia

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

The spousal support in Virginia system is designed to help the lower-earning spouse make ends meet following the divorce. Divorce is a financially difficult time for many people, but your Norfolk divorce attorney will work toward getting you the best outcome possible.

It is especially important for women who made the decisions to stay home and raise their children rather than pursuing careers, because it can be difficult to find work after having been out of the work force for some time.

Factors that can Affect Virginia Spousal Support

Many of the same factors that affect the amount of support will also affect how long you'll receive Virginia spousal support:

duration of the marriage;
monetary and non-monetary contributions both parties made to the marriage;
age of the parties;
physical and mental health of the parties;
both parties' earning capacity; and
many other factors.

Based on the details of the case, a family court judge might issue a lump sum payment or periodic payments. Rehabilitative support is another option or the judge may even grant you the right to ask for support at a future time.

Consult a Norfolk divorce attorney to find out how the guidelines surrounding spousal support will affect your particular case.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

How In-Home Virginia Separation Happens & How to Make it a Success

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

In-home separation is one of the options when getting a Virginia divorce. In this type of separation in Virginia, you and your ex live under the same roof, but you live "separately" rather than as a couple.

Why would couples choose in-home separation?

It's not always possible to make the move to separate locations, but the couple still wants to set the wheels of divorce in motion by initiating your separation in Virginia. Money issues may play a role in a couple's choice to share a house during their separation.

Maintaining 2 households can be expensive, especially during the financially challenging time of divorce. Family matters, such as a child's education, may also be a reason for both parents to feel the need to remain under the same roof.

What makes in-home separation successful?

If you and your spouse choose an in-home separation when getting divorced in Virginia, you'll need to follow a strict set of guidelines.

The list is a long one, but in general it includes you and your spouse:

avoiding physical intimacy with each other;
keeping your food separate;
different bank accounts;
starting different, separate, social lives; and
telling friends, family and close acquaintances that you're separated.

You and your spouse can work through the details of your divorce by getting your decisions in writing in a separation agreement and seeking help from a Norfolk divorce attorney.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Starting New After a Painful or Messy Divorce in Virginia

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're getting a divorce in Virginia, you already know that ending your marriage can be a painful, messy event. Despite the difficult feelings between you and your ex, and your own anxiety about the future, there's life after divorce.

Divorce can hit you hard emotionally. You'll likely go through the stages of grief. You might also be dealing with regrets, negative self-talk, and other issues. It's best to address these feelings as soon as possible. You can address these issues with the support of friends and family or with the help of a licensed therapist.

Financial matters can be a major source of stress during and after your divorce in Virginia. You may also be returning to work for the first time in a while. If this is the case, you should focus on the positive aspects of starting a new career. Learn the secrets to creating an effective resume and market your skills and talents with confidence.

Socially, you may be dealing with tense relations between you and your friends and family, particularly if your divorce was messy and the people close to you took sides. You'll also be looking at starting a new post-divorce co-parent relationship with your ex.

Life after divorce may not be easy, but with the right support and learning resources, and of course the right Virginia divorce attorney to assist in your legal needs, you can face your future with courage.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

How Will the Judge View Your In-Home Separation in Virginia? Not Well

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

In-home separation in Virginia might be an option for some divorcing couples but it's not a choice that's recommended in most cases. It's not something that most family court judges view favorably and a divorcing couple should be aware of the guidelines and drawbacks involved.

A traditional separation is when partners move into separate living quarters and begin to prepare for single life as they work out the conditions of their divorce. Things are a lot trickier when the separated couple is living under the same roof and this blurry line between "together" and "apart" is the primary reason that judges, in general, view in-home separation in an unfavorable light.

Dealing with In-Home Separation in Virginia

If it turns out that in-home separation is an option for a couple, there are some very specific guidelines they will need to follow:

make sure that friends, family and associates know you are no longer a couple;
maintain separate bank accounts;
have their own telephones for personal and business use;
avoid sexual intimacy with each other;
manage their own respective living areas;
cease sharing meals together, except for on holidays and children's birthdays; and
have an objective third party occasionally visit to observe your living arrangements to confirm you're living separately.

It's clear that in-home separation in Virginia isn't for everyone. You should seek the advice of your Virginia Beach divorce attorney to decide whether it's an option for you.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

3 Tips for Preparing Your Virginia Separation Agreement

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

In a Virginia divorce, the couple needs to work out the details of their separation. A separation agreement is the most common way to record the decisions made about the important matters involved in dissolving a marriage. A Chesapeake divorce attorney can help you create one.

It's not always easy resolving the complicated issues of child custody, division of property, spousal support and other matters that need to be addressed when a marriage is ending. Having your decisions on paper is going to be part of your divorce, whether the decisions are made by a Virginia divorce court or by the divorcing partners themselves.

3 Helpful Tips For A Virginia Separation Agreement

When it comes to negotiating a separation agreement, one partner can present the other partner with a written offer detailing their desired terms for the separation. The other spouse may or may not accept the offer as is. If not, the couple can continue negotiating with each other until an agreement can be reached.
Try to keep your expectations realistic. Giving ultimatums or refusing to consider reasonable offers will only harm your chances of coming to an acceptable resolution.
Divorce mediation can be helpful when a couple is facing these kinds of negotiations. It can make it easier for the couple to communicate in a productive way, and for them to find creative solutions to their problems.

You'll probably have many questions about separation agreements. Speak with your Chesapeake divorce attorney for more information.

Contacting a Chesapeake Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Tips on How to Approach Parenting After a Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

When a marriage breaks down, it's natural to be concerned about how the new situation will affect your children. When you're going through a divorce in Virginia, especially when you're trying to work through child custody in Virginia, being a proactive parent and making a concerted effort to meet your children's needs is vital to their well-being.

Divorces can drain emotions and bring out the worst in people if they're not mindful. But you have the choice to not allow any negativity between you and your ex-husband to interfere with your parenting.

As you're working through your divorce and getting used to your new life, you might wonder how to approach parenting. The key to raising well-adjusted, happy children is a loving, secure environment. This fact never changes, even after your divorce in Virginia.

Your focus should be on providing a stable, positive environment for your children:

avoid blaming the children or using them for your own social support;
don't express anger or bitterness toward the other parent in your children's presence;
encourage a relationship between your children and the other parent; and
try to create a stable, loving home, being attentive to your children's needs and concerns.

Divorce is hard on everyone involved, especially when you're dealing with child support in Virginia. However, concentrating on being an attentive parent and creating new, healthy family dynamics will set you and your children on the right path to a happier future.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional and financial turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

On the Bright Side: 3 Ways a Separation in Virginia Improves Your Life

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

Many people suffer through a marriage that no longer works for them for the "sake of the children." What they don't realize, though, is that there is a positive side to getting a separation in Virginia. If you're considering a divorce, divorce attorneys in Virginia can address your concerns and help develop a separation agreement and parenting plan.

A separation may improve your life and your relationship with your children by:

Making happier parents. Without the pressing weight of an irreconcilable marriage, you and your spouse become happier individuals, and this translates into a happier, more secure environment for your children.
Allowing for time alone. A separation and a parenting plan that allows for short periods of time without your children can give you much-needed time alone to recharge your batteries and come back a better, more adjusted parent.
Create attentive parenting. When you spend a little time away from your children, you naturally begin to cherish the time you spend with them, making those moments together count.

If your marriage is past the point of reconciliation, getting a separation can improve your overall well-being and help put you on the path to wholeness. Happier parents equal happier children, a good mantra to keep in mind if you're concerned about how a separation in Virginia will affect your family.

If you feel like you're ready to take the next step in getting a separation, you'll want to contact divorce attorneys in Virginia to begin discussing your options.

Contacting Divorce Attorneys in Virginia

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The divorce attorneys in Virginia at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Dividing Military & Federal Government Benefits After Divorce in Virginia

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

Under the Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act (USFSPA), each state is allowed to divide military and federal government benefits between spouses after a divorce in Virginia. If you're facing divorce, especially a military divorce involving complicated fine print, you'll want to speak with a divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach about any benefits you may be entitled.

Based on the USFSPA, military and government benefits can be issued as marital property in a military divorce in Virginia. How the benefits are distributed is unique to each case, and is something which will be stipulated in your separation agreement or court order.

Military Benefits You May be Eligible for After Your Virginia Divorce

There are multiple benefits to which you may be entitled:

retirement pay;
survivor benefits;
health care benefits; and
commissary and exchange benefits.

You should understand that the division of military or government benefits is not automatic, nor is it government-mandated. The USFSPA simply allows the states to treat certain military benefits as they would any civilian benefits in a divorce settlement.

Since military divorces are more complex than civilian divorces, you'll want to enlist in the help of a divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach to make sure you don't miss out on the benefits for which you might be eligible.

Contacting a Woman Divorce Lawyer in Virginia Beach

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A woman divorce lawyer in Virginia Beach at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will be committed to fighting for your rights, helping you with military divorce in Virginia Beach, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Getting Important Info to Your Chesapeake Divorce Lawyer

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Virginia divorce process includes a portion called the interrogatories, in which your Chesapeake divorce attorney will be asking your husband a battery of questions related to the family finances and assets, and to matters that are pertinent to your child custody case. You will also be asked a set of questions and be expected to produce documentation.

These questions can be very detailed, but this type of information gathering is necessary in order for the attorney to build the divorce case and help make sure that you get a fair and equitable settlement and a child custody decision that is in the best interests of your children.

For example, to properly gather information, the attorney may ask for information about:

401(k) plans;
Stocks;
profit sharing; and
other financial plans.

They will need all the vital information about these accounts and the documentation for them. Regarding child custody, there may be questions about parental fitness and whether one parent has any documented proof to support their claims that the other parent isn't fit to have custody.

Divorce requires a large amount of paperwork, so it's best to have a system that helps you keep everything organized. 3-ring binders, labeled folders and the like will be a great help to you during this time. It's essential that you cooperate with your Chesapeake divorce attorney so that your case goes as smoothly as possible.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

How a Collaborative Divorce in Virginia Beach May Benefit You

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're contemplating a divorce in Virginia Beach, and still have open communication with your spouse, a collaborative divorce may be the right option for you. Working with a Virginia Beach collaborative divorce firm and developing an agreement that takes everyone's needs into consideration is one of the healthiest, least painful ways to handle a divorce.

During a collaborative divorce, a team of professionals work together to devise an agreement that takes a lot of areas into consideration, including:

emotional needs;
financial situations and future financial needs;
children's needs and parenting plans; and
parental communication skills.

Collaborative divorces don't drag the family through the court system, and are generally quicker and less expensive with a much more positive outcome than a contested divorce. In addition to your lawyer and your spouse's lawyer, you'll have a team of professionals ready to help everyone reach a workable plan.

Some members that will be a part of your Virginia Beach collaborative divorce firm team include:

divorce coaches;
children's mental health specialist;
a financial specialist; and
a case manager.

Collaborative divorces aren't for every couple, though. You should speak to an attorney about your divorce in Virginia Beach to make sure it's the right choice for you.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Collaborative Divorce Firm

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The attorneys at the Virginia Beach collaborative divorce firm Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, helping you with collaborative divorce in Virginia Beach, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

3 Ways Your Virginia Divorce Can Impact Your Credit Score

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're considering a Virginia divorce, be aware that both you and your spouse are responsible for any mutual financial accounts and debts. No matter what your specific situation, you'll want to assess your financial situation and contact a Chesapeake divorce lawyer to protect your finances and your credit score.

A Virginia divorce can leave a lasting, negative imprint on your credit score. Even before you go through the divorce process, you'll want to take steps to protect your financial future with which a Chesapeake divorce lawyer can help.

Without precautionary, proactive measures, divorces can negatively impact your credit with:

Unpaid bills - creditors will hold both spouses responsible for debt and will actively pursue their due payments. They will quickly report outstanding credit card debt or car payments to the credit bureau.
Foreclosure - if you inadvertently remain on the mortgage deed after giving the house to your spouse, it may result in a mark on your credit report if your spouse later lets the house go to foreclosure.
Unknown responsibilities - if you don't familiarize yourself with all your accounts and debts, and sever all financial ties with your spouse, you'll be held liable for his future financial actions, which could wind up hurting your credit score.

The best thing you can do is try to become completely knowledgeable about your and your spouse's financial status and responsibilities before your Virginia divorce, and to separate yourself financially from him.

Contacting a Chesapeake Divorce Lawyer

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances, including questions about your financial responsibilities and credit score. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Chesapeake divorce Lawyer in Virginia at Hofheimer/Ferrebee will commit to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

3 Things to Straighten Out Before Calling a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you are currently considering a divorce in Virginia, there are a few things you should do before you and your spouse begin divorce discussions or divorce proceedings. After you have completed these things, speak with a Norfolk divorce attorney, who can help you with the process.

Speak with a marriage counselor who may be able to provide insight on resolving your marital differences. Even if you think the marriage is lost, divorce counseling might help you determine what went wrong and how to move forward.
Do not move out of your marital home until after proceedings have begun, as this may adversely impact your ability to collect alimony, or you may be unable to return to the house until after the courts have divided property.
Safeguard your assets before the divorce process begins, including those that you want to use, such as furniture or vehicles, and those that might be liquidated.

If you are considering getting a divorce in Virginia, remember before you speak with a Norfolk divorce attorney to prepare yourself for the divorce proceedings by following these 3 simple recommendations. You will be able to begin your new life with more ease if you have made preparations for the process.

Contacting a Norfolk Divorce Attorney

Our Norfolk divorce attorney team cares about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about getting a divorce in Virginia, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

3 Myths about Male Children of a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're going through a Virginia divorce, you can take steps to help your child adjust to this difficult time healthy ways. If you have a son, you know that there are unique joys and challenges involved in raising a boy. Boys also react differently to life changes once they become children of divorce.

The following are some common myths about male children of divorce:

Myth 1: If your child is upset, he'll let you know. Reality: Many times, male children express feelings in different ways than girls. You may need to work hard to get your son to open up to you, and be sensitive to any behavioral cues that hint at his feelings.
Myth 2: Boys don't cry. Reality: If your son is more like the strong silent type mentioned above, it may seem that this isn't a myth at all; however, not all boys hold in their feelings, and they shouldn't be made to feel bad for expressing their grief.
Myth 3: Male children of divorce will go on to have relationship problems as adults. Reality: This is one of the most troubling myths about kids and divorce, and it sparks guilt in many parents. It's true that boys can suffer some set backs due to the loss of a father figure from the home, but a University of Michigan study shows that children of divorce are just as likely to have happy, fulfilling relationships.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Family Mediation May be a Good Choice During Your Virginia Divorce

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Many couples who've decided to get a Virginia divorce may still be able to work together and come up with solutions without going through a painful litigation process in court. After going over your situation with a Virginia divorce and child custody lawyer, you might consider family mediation as a viable option.

Mediation is a process where both spouses retain their attorneys but work with a third-party mediator. The goal is to help parents come to a mutual agreement on big issues for the sake of the children.

Benefits of Family Mediation in Virginia Divorce

prevents difficult court battles;
helps both parties better understand the issues at hand;
reduces the pain and struggle for both spouses and the children; and
protects the children from getting caught in the crosshairs.

When a couple gets divorced in Virginia, emotional struggle is a natural part of the equation. It's wise to take a step back and try to work together to ease the hurt and avoid prolonging the pain, especially if children are involved. Family mediation services can help couples achieve this.

If you think family mediation may be an option, discuss your divorce with a Virginia divorce and child custody lawyer who can guide you and work with you throughout a collaborative divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances, many of which can be handled in family mediation. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.he Virginia divorce and child custody attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Bizarre Child Custody Case Shows Why Custody Modifications Are Needed

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're facing a divorce and you have children, you should be aware of the laws surrounding child custody in Virginia. In some cases, custody modifications may be possible and you should have a good attorney on your side to help.

For an extreme example of when child custody modifications may be necessary, consider the case of Trisha Conlon, a divorced mother of 2 sons, who has been waging a custody battle. Conlon's ex-husband, Lt. Col. John P Cushing, has reunited with his first wife Kristine Cushing, who in 1991 fatally shot their 2 daughters.

Kristine Cushing was found not guilty by reason of insanity and was committed to a mental hospital; however, she was found to be no threat to the public and was released. Trisha Conlon is understandably upset that her 2 sons with Mr. Cushing will be spending time with Kristine, but surprisingly, the judge in the case didn't agree, and ruled that there was no reason to amend the parenting plan.

While this is a highly unusual case, many everyday women going through divorce may find compelling reasons to pursue custody modifications. Virginia child custody law can be complicated, so be sure to have excellent legal guidance throughout your case.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

What to Do When a Friend Picks Sides in Your Virginia Divorce

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

When your marriage ends in Virginia divorce, you're not just losing your husband; you may also be losing important people in your social circle. While ideally a friend (particularly if they were a friend of both spouses) will remain neutral in the divorce, this is usually not the case. It's natural to pick sides and form opinions the divorcing couple's reasons and motives for divorce.

Dealing with Friends Picking Sides in Your Virginia Divorce

If you're feeling the social repercussions of Virginia divorce and it's adding to the overall stress of the experience, there are some things you can do:

It's not uncommon for women to lose themselves in their identity as wife and mother during a divorce. You can use this time of social upheaval to get more in touch with yourself and learn to be self-sufficient again.
Everyone craves interaction and emotional support, especially during a rough time in life. You should surround yourself with the people who love you and have shown themselves loyal to you.
If you have children you should try, if possible, to salvage the relationships that benefit them the most. If necessary, seek guidance from a professional counselor to help you sort through your feelings and create a positive plan for the future.

Who is the Guardian ad Litem in Your Child Custody Case in Virginia?

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

In a Virginia child custody case, children may be caught in a tug-of-war between their parents. To ensure the best outcome for the child, a Virginia court might appoint a guardian ad litem. This person will be different than the Virginia child custody attorney that you have hired but you will all be working toward the same goal.

A guardian ad litem is an attorney who represents the child's best interests during the course of the case. The guardian reports their findings to the court. A guardian ad litem is always appointed in cases in which child abuse or neglect is an issue, but the court can also appoint one in cases where abuse is not a factor.

While this professional's job is to advocate for your child, that doesn't mean that he or she will always make suggestions based on what the child wants. Rather, the suggestions will be based according to the child's best interests.

Your interaction with your child's guardian ad litem is important. He or she will be watching and evaluating you, your lifestyle, and the way you relate to your child. Also keep in mind that while your attorney must keep your conversations in confidence under attorney-client privilege, a guardian ad litem is under no such obligation to you.

You should not underestimate the power the guardian ad litem has in your Virginia child custody case. The observations he or she makes can have a major effect on the outcome of your case.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

4 Ways to Prepare for a Divorce in Virginia

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorce in Virginia can turn your world upside down. While ending your marriage won't be easy, you may find the experience more tolerable by preparing for it with a Virginia divorce attorney.

4 Steps in Preparation Toward Divorce in Virginia

To best prepare yourself for the upcoming life changes, check to make sure you:

Know what you own....and what you owe. Make a list of all your assets and gather the necessary documents such as paperwork for your mortgage, insurance, and taxes. Get a credit report to find out what you owe, both jointly and separately.
Make an effort to establish your own credit to be ready for life on your own. You and your husband probably have joint credit cards and bank accounts you'll need to untangle during your divorce in Virginia.
Surround yourself with friends. Preparing for divorce isn't all about financial paperwork; there's a lot of emotional work to do when you're facing divorce in Virginia. Many women define themselves based on their role in the home, and the prospect of being single again can be daunting. Be sure you have a strong support system of friends and/or a professional counselor to comfort you.
Be ready for a fight. This doesn't mean being angry and bitter; it simply means that you should be ready to stand up for what you need in your divorce in Virginia. It's best to have an experienced Virginia divorce attorney on your side to help make sure that you're being treated fairly.

request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia

reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Rights for a Stepparent Adoption in Virginia

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Your family has come a long way and now you are ready to take the next step: stepparent adoption. A stepparent adoption can be one of the most positive and enjoyable cases a Virginia family law attorney can undertake. The road to adopting a stepchild begins when you put in your adoption paperwork. Your Virginia family law attorney will help you with all the details.

Stepparent adoption helps build families by giving stepparents the same rights and responsibilities as biological parents. Children who are legally adopted can benefit socially and financially being in a 2-parent family.

Before you start the process, you need to consider whether there will be any issues regarding parental consent. Both biological parents, if alive and still possessing parental rights, need to agree to the adoption. This means that if your spouse wants to adopt your child, your child's biological father will have to agree.

There may be cases where the absent biological parent has abandoned the child, or where the parent may be hard to track down. Home studies may be required by the judge too. Your Virginia family law attorney will help you navigate through any complications that might arise in your adoption case.

Contacting a Virginia Family Law Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Mind Your Ps and Qs: Your Behavior in Virginia Child Custody Court

Mon, 15 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Virginia child custody can be a very emotional topic. It's important to remember some simple tips on how to behave in court so that you can give yourself the chance at a positive outcome. Your Virginia divorce attorney will be doing most of the talking but you need to project a tolerant, respectful countenance.

First, consider your appearance. While this may seem like a superficial thing to think about during such a difficult time, it can have an impact on your case. No matter what your daily personal style happens to be, your best bet for court is an understated, feminine, conservative look. A knee length skirt and a blouse in a pastel color, for example.

Next you'll want to focus on how to behave in court. "Respect" is the key word to keep in mind whenever you're before a judge. It is the same goes for the guardian ad litem, custody evaluator, and any other professionals involved.

This is no doubt a trying time in your life, and being under stress can give you a short fuse. It may be especially hard to maintain your composure if you feel that your ex and his legal team are misrepresenting you.

However, in Virginia divorce court you should never:

interrupt anyone speaking (you will be given a chance to speak);
argue with anyone there (only state the facts as they pertain to you); and
display disrespectful body language (avoid crossing your arms, making faces, or tapping your toe).

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

3 Things to Know About Collaborative Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Virginia divorce is a legal procedure and emotional event that involves all areas of your life. Some people find that something as multi-faceted as divorce is best handled in a way that addresses specific areas of concern. For them, a Virginia collaborative divorce facilitated by a Virginia divorce attorney might be a good option.

Collaborative divorce involves a team of professionals who meet with the divorcing spouses to work out the details of their separation.

The collaborative divorce team generally consists of:

a divorce lawyer for each spouse;
a divorce coach for each spouse;
a financial specialist; and
a child specialist.

This group of qualified professionals is designed to address all the areas that might cause conflict between couples as they go their separate ways.

Traditional courtroom divorce in Virginia is an adversarial process, meaning that the partners are expected to oppose each other at every step of the way. When a couple decides to approach their divorce in a collaborative way, they agree to cooperate and work with the divorce team toward mutually agreeable solutions.

Alternative litigation doesn't work for everyone, so it's wise to evaluate your situation and speak with a Virginia divorce attorney to determine the best way to go with your Virginia divorce. The alternative litigation route is best for partners who are still on good terms and who are willing to compromise in some areas.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

While we know that a collaborative divorce can't eliminate the pain associated with the dissolution of a marriage, the Virginia women's divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee want to help you to achieve a peaceful and successful resolution that will enable you and your children to move on with your lives and look ahead to the future.

Learn more about collaborative divorce and get closer to starting your new life with peace of mind - request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

VA Beach Divorce Attorney Understands Overseas Service and Divorce

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Military service, particularly overseas service, which takes soldiers to far-off destinations for prolonged periods of time, can wreak havoc on marriage. If you are considering a military divorce in Virginia, contact a Virginia Beach divorce attorney to discuss your options in pursuing a military divorce to see if doing so is the best option for you and your future.

It is difficult to balance the commitments of family and the obligations of a military career. The responsibilities of each can have an impact on the satisfaction with the other.

Factors That Can Lead to a Military Divorce in Virginia

The divorce rate for military couples has historically been significantly higher than the average divorce rate. High divorce rates for soldiers has been cited and even studied by the government following large-scale military operations as far back as the Civil War.

Struggles that military couples often face include the following:

men and women in the service are often required to move frequently;
military couples are forced to spend extended periods of time separated from one another; and
combat service members may suffer psychological consequences such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

If you are considering a military divorce in Virginia, it's important for you to realize that you are not alone.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia Beach divorce attorney team cares about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about a military divorce in Virginia, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

What the Heck is "Recrimination" in a Virginia Divorce?

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

Recrimination is a legal term in Virginia divorce law that describes an instance in which both you and your spouse accuse one another of similar or identical transgressions. For example, if you accuse your husband of adultery and he replies by accusing you of the same, that is recrimination. A Newport News divorce attorney can assist you with arguing against these accusations.

How Recrimination Impacts a Virginia Divorce

Divorces are usually based on fault, so when 1 spouse files for divorce against the other, he or she is alleging that some wrongdoing occurred on the part of the other that necessitated the divorce. If you and your ex are parting on unhappy terms, the possibility of recrimination increases.

Recrimination is a defense against the "fault" grounds of a divorce. In certain instances, recrimination can prevent a spouse from successfully obtaining a divorce from the other. While some states have eliminated recrimination as a defense against divorce, Virginia has not.

Recrimination is not advised as a line of argument because of the complicating effect it has on divorce proceedings. You should speak with a Newport News divorce attorney before you make up your mind on whether to proceed with, or how to react to, recrimination in your Virginia divorce proceedings.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

Our Newport News divorce attorney team cares about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about a Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Getting Rid of Your Ex's Last Name after a Divorce in Virginia

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 08:00:00 EST

After a divorce in Virginia, you may want to remove your ex-husband's last name from your own. This practice is common, and while you may be hesitant to do so, there are a number of reasons to make the final transition towards your new life. A Virginia Beach divorce attorney may be able to further guide you through the processes after your divorce.

Steps to Change Your Name after Divorce in Virginia

The first thing you should do in order to affect your legal name change following a divorce is determine to what you will change your name. It's common to take back your maiden name, in which case, you should notify your Virginia Beach divorce attorney so that he or she can indicate both names on your official divorce decree.

Once you've obtained your decree, you must notify the Social Security Administration to get a new Social Security card. You'll be required to supply your divorce decree, a proof of identity, and separate proof of U.S. citizenship.

After you receive your new Social Security card, the next step is to notify the Department of Motor Vehicles. You'll need your Social Security card, your divorce decree, and your driver's license.

After these steps, the remaining notifications are significantly simpler, notify your:

bank;
employers;
any mortgage or car lenders;
insurance providers;
credit cards;
investment accounts; and
doctors.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia Beach divorce attorney team cares about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about a divorce in Virginia, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

When a Virginia Divorce "Spreads" in a Social Circle

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're considering a Virginia divorce, you might want to ask yourself how many of your friends and family have used a Virginia divorce attorney to "untie the knot". The effects of divorce go beyond you and your spouse. It can affect the people in your social circle.

Studies by social scientists from Harvard and other well-known universities have found that couples that have friends and family who are divorced are at a greater risk for having their own marriages end. This study supports the concept of divorce as something that can spread through a group of friends and family much like a virus.

When a couple decides to call it quits, other couples around them might begin to have doubts about their own relationships. This is especially true if the first divorcing couple's relationship had been considered strong.

Nobody wants to be the first in their group to divorce, and some couples might hold on, whether consciously or unconsciously, for the sake of appearances. A couple's Virginia divorce can make their friends and family who have been having marital problems feel that divorce is a more acceptable option.

These studies have also shown an interesting, more optimistic fact about the social effects of divorce. Couples who support their friends and loved ones through divorce actually end up strengthening their own marriages.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Young Couples Seeking a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

When people think of a marriage on the rocks, they often imagine a middle-aged couple that has been together for years. In reality, young couples file for Virginia divorce just as often as anyone else, and their relationship problems can lead to separation.

Ending a marriage at a young age can be difficult in many ways. Young divorcees may find themselves feeling alienated from their group of friends, many of whom may be planning weddings or in the honeymoon stages of their relationships. Being a divorcee can also be a concern for people as they start dating after divorce.

While all these social challenges are real, young people considering Virginia divorce face the same legal realities as people of any age. If you find yourself in this situation, you should seek the counsel of a Virginia divorce attorney. Your attorney can help you understand the process of Virginia divorce and separation. You can also find out how a separation agreement may benefit you.

A separation agreement is a contract between you and your spouse that details the conditions of your separation. It's a very important document to have if you have children or shared property with your spouse.

While Virginia separation can be emotionally difficult for a young couple, there is help and guidance available that can make it easier to get through it and survive your life after divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Young couples seeking Virginia divorce will have the same needs as those who have been married longer and would benefit from the services of an experienced Virginia divorce attorney.

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Saying Goodbye to Anger After Your Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

During your Virginia divorce, you may find you have a difficult time managing anger. Anger can sometimes be hard to handle and you may find that it stays around for much longer than you would like. If you hire an experienced Virginia divorce attorney they will be familiar with this situation and can direct you as to how to overcome your problem.

It's understandable that you would feel angry following a divorce. Many times, a divorce happens because the trust between the couple has been irreparably broken due to negative events and behaviors. It's normal to be hurt and angry when someone has wronged you and the future isn't turning out as planned.

Anger is natural and can even feel good during the early stages of your Virginia divorce. It can be a defense mechanism against the pain and anxiety you're experiencing during this difficult time; however, anger can turn to bitterness and affect your life and relationships.

Managing anger is an important part of rebuilding your life after a divorce. Being friends with your ex isn't always possible, but you should try and be on polite terms, especially if you have children together.

Some women may find that professional counseling helps them get past persistent feelings of anger, jealousy and bitterness following divorce. Having supportive friends and family to vent to can also be a big part of the emotional recovery process.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Getting Divorced in Virginia: Common Reasons for Marital Breakdown

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Women who are getting divorced in Virginia are often looking for answers. They look for legal answers to help them determine their best course of action when it comes to peacefully ending their marriage and protecting their children and property.

They may also examine their relationship to seek answers about why their marriage ended in the first place. While each couple is unique and faces their own set of problems, there are some basic reasons why marital breakdown occurs.

Most couples have specific things they can point to that led to them getting divorced in Virginia, whether it was a major event like an affair, ongoing disagreements over finances, or other issues.

While certain events can definitely pack a punch, the basis for marital breakdown is usually something much more subtle. It's known as "turning", and it happens when, for a variety of reasons, the partners in a relationship begin to turn from each other and seek fulfillment outside of the marriage.

They may begin by feeling disillusioned with each other. In time, this feeling gives way to arguing, which can freeze into detached silence. By this time divorce may very well be their only option.

Marital breakdown isn't always the fault of one spouse or the other, but when you're getting divorced in Virginia, you need to look out for your own best interests and those of your children.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

When Complications Arise With Division of Property in Virginia Divorce

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Division of property isn't always an emotionally easy part of Virginia divorce. Many people are attached to certain items and feel bad about having to let them go to their ex. Sometimes legal matters, not emotional matters, complicate the division of property.

Many people think of dividing assets as splitting them straight down the middle, but it's not always that simple. While Virginia law dictates that assets should be divided in a fair and equitable fashion, some cases require more thought on how this is to be accomplished.

For example, one of the partners bought a home during the marriage, but used proceeds from the sale of a home that was acquired prior to the marriage. Normally, anything bought while the couple was married is considered marital property, but in this case it was purchased with funds from the sale of the real estate that was owned prior to the marriage, which would be separate property.

It can also be difficult to put a value on some items like businesses, medical practices, works of art and other things. Your Virginia divorce attorney may need to sort through complicated cases by bringing in other professionals like appraisers and forensic accountants.

If you're facing a divorce, in which you may run into complications with dividing assets, you should speak with an experienced divorce lawyer as soon as possible.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

When One Party Wants a Virginia Divorce and the Other Doesn't

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Partners aren't always on the same page when it comes to seeking a Virginia divorce. Sometimes, one partner may want to leave the marriage while the other wants to try to work things out. In these cases, deciding on divorce is painful for everyone involved.

Adultery is a common scenario that often leads to one partner deciding on divorce, while the other isn't as sure. The unfaithful partner might choose to leave, to start a new life with his or her lover, or the partner, who's been cheated on might feel unable to remain in a marriage after the trust has been shattered.

A major event like a death in the family or a financial crisis can affect an individual's outlook on life and their ability to fulfill their duties as a spouse. One partner's major change in religious or political conviction can also shake up the balance in the marriage and drive a couple apart.

Whatever the reasons you or your spouse chose to seek a Virginia divorce, you will need good legal counsel. If you're the partner who wanted to keep the relationship alive, you might feel shocked, confused, and upset when you're served with the divorce papers. Still, it's important for you to have a Virginia divorce attorney of your own to help you get a fair settlement, negotiate child custody and move on with your life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Want to Avoid Virginia Divorce? "Love Expert" Warns Against Marriage Altogether

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're facing divorce in Virginia, you might be looking back at the history of your relationship, wondering what went wrong. There are many reasons for divorce, but one relationship expert says that avoiding marriage, at least for a time, might be the best way to create your own "happily ever after".

Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of the matchmaking website e-harmony, knows enough about relationships to know that they take time, work, and patience. He says that to avoid a painful divorce, people need to give plenty of thought to practical matters before popping the question.

When you meet someone you find attractive and exciting, it can be quite a thrill. Unfortunately, attraction doesn't always mean love. The chemistry might be good, but the relationship may not have the basic compatibility necessary to create a lasting bond.

Too many couples get wrapped up in the romance and drama of their love, and begin planning for marriage way earlier in the relationship than they should. As a result they begin their married life unprepared, and once the honeymoon phase is over, disillusionment sets in.

Many common reasons for divorce could be avoided if couples set marriage aside until they're emotionally and financially prepared to commit.

If you're already considering divorce, all is not lost. You can't turn back time but you do still have options, like choosing an experienced Virginia divorce attorney who can make a real difference in your divorce and future.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Custody Evaluators Unfamiliar with Issues of Domestic Abuse

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

A custody evaluator is a qualified person who analyzes parents involved in Virginia child custody cases. These evaluators can be very useful when courts are determining the best interests of the child, but they may not always know how to address domestic abuse issues.

Domestic violence can be a difficult thing to evaluate and measure, because there are different types of abuse dynamics. For example, violence may be situational, happening as a result of the offender being under an unusual amount of stress at a given time, or it can be an ongoing form of terrorism.

When making decisions about the best custody arrangement, the evaluator needs to determine the type and severity of the abuse that has been in play in a particular family and then make a suggestion regarding what type of parenting plan would be safest and most practical for the children.

Some evaluators may have a hard time differentiating between the types of domestic abuse, and may at times underestimate the severity of the abuse situation. This misunderstanding is usually the result of insufficient training and education.

It's important for custody evaluators to possess up-to date knowledge about domestic abuse, so that they can make responsible decisions and serve the needs of children in Virginia child custody cases.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

4 Ways to Avoid Ruining Virginia Child Custody Case on Facebook

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

In a Virginia child custody case, the court needs to determine the living arrangement that's in the best interests of the child. Sometimes, information on a parent's social networking page can affect their image in court. A Virginia child custody attorney is on your side in court and can counsel you on how to manage your online presence.

Unfortunately, your ex's attorneys can use this information against you during you Virginia child custody case. They'll be looking for things that can make you look like the less competent parent.

Steps to Protect Against Having Your Social Media Page Used Against You in Court:

Keep your settings private. Sites like Facebook will not do this automatically; you have to go into your settings and do it yourself.
Avoid angry posts. It's understandable that during your divorce you will feel upset with your ex, but it's best to avoid lashing out against him in your status updates. That kind of ranting will make you look bitter and vengeful.
Beware of your "friends". Don't accept friend requests from strangers and don't assume that just because someone is your friend, that they won't report your personal info to anyone.
A picture is worth 1000 words. What do your Facebook photos say? Take a good look through them to determine whether they show you in a positive light. If not, it is best to delete them.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

4 Things to Expect in a Virginia Divorce Court

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're considering ending your marriage, you should seek the guidance of a divorce attorney in Virginia Beach and become familiar with the Virginia divorce process, including what to expect in divorce court.

Nervousness - Many people are nervous about going to divorce court. The Virginia divorce process can seem complicated and can cause some stress. Fortunately, you don't have to face this challenging time alone; you should seek a divorce attorney in Virginia Beach who can help guide you through your divorce.
Legalities - One of the most important things to remember about divorce is that everything goes forward according to legal procedure. There's plenty of paperwork that needs to be filed with the court, and documentation to hand to your attorney. Try keeping it all in order
Behavior - When you're in the courtroom, you're expected to remain in order and be respectful to the judge. It's unwise to try to argue with the judge, with your ex, or with his attorney.
Fairness - A tough, no-nonsense judge isn't necessarily a "mean" or unfair judge. As long as you present yourself well and cooperate with the process, there's no reason to believe you're in trouble.

If you understand the basics of the legal procedure, and follow the advice of your divorce attorney in Virginia Beach, you'll have a better chance of having a positive experience in divorce court and with your divorce in general.

Contacting a Divorce Attorney in Virginia Beach

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A divorce attorney in Virginia Beach at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

What to Do When Your Loved Ones Are Upset About Your Divorce in Virginia

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you and your spouse are getting a divorce in Virginia, you'll probably be focused on your own relationship, and the challenges you'll face while ending it; however, it's important to realize the social impact of divorce, and how to address it, so that you can avoid some of the painful conflicts it can cause.

First of all, let go of guilt. Your decision to seek a divorce is entirely up to you and/or your spouse. Only the two of you truly know the state of your relationship, and it's up to you to decide if and when to end it. It's also up to you how you're going to handle the aftermath of divorce.

In some cases, it can be awkward to remain on good terms with your ex's friends if you aren't friendly with him. Sometimes the friends may take sides and be the ones who back off despite your efforts to remain in their lives.

Your family may have their own opinions about your decision to seek a divorce in Virginia, and your relationships with family -particularly in-laws - might suffer. If you have children, it's best to try and keep things amicable at the very least.

The social impact of divorce varies from case to case. You don't always have full control of the outcome of these situations, but you can minimize the blow by keeping a positive outlook and sticking with the people in your life who are supportive.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

3 Reasons to Assert Financial Freedom after a Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're divorcing in Virginia, it's wise to make a commitment to manage your money. Some women, despite how difficult their divorces may have been, continue to rely on their exes for financial advice. While a Virginia divorce attorney is not a money manager, you can still consult a lawyer to get advice on how to move forward.

It's not uncommon for there to be a primary money manager in a relationship. Many times, the male partner is the one who ends up in this position, and some women are okay with their ex handling their finances even after they have divorced.

Why you may be the better candidate to handle your money:

Your husband may not have your best interests at heart. While your ex might act as though all is well, it's possible that his motives for handling your money aren't the best.
You should have privacy. Ask yourself whether you're okay with your ex knowing how much you have and the changes that may occur in your financial situation.
Money management is a skill you should learn. Nobody is born with inherent investment information stored in their heads. Now that you are on your own, you can find out all the options available to you and take control of your own money.

If you're getting divorced in Virginia, seek out a Virginia divorce attorney who can help you find a money management team or financial counselor to help you reach financial freedom.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Facing Each Stage of Your Separation in a Virginia Divorce

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Virginia divorce usually comes after you and your spouse have gone through the stages of separation in VA. These stages are part of the process of marital breakdown. You should be aware of the emotional aspects of this process as you seek a VA separation.

disillusionment - partners no longer idealize each other and they begin to see and be annoyed by each other's faults.
erosion - partners begin to express their disappointment with each other. This can often be a time of hurtful, critical words.
detachment - often characterized by coldness and distance between the spouses.
physical separation - when most couples go forward with filing for Virginia divorce, and go through the process of ending the marriage.
mourning - similar to mourning for a loved one who's passed on. Everyone mourns in his or her own way.
second adolescence - during this time, hope and excitement for life returns.
exploration and hard work - at this point, you have come to terms with your divorce and can begin to see your new life take root.

If you are just now considering a divorce in Virginia, it might be difficult for you to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but with the help of an experienced Virginia divorce attorney, you can have a successful divorce and be able to move on.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Every Minute with Your Virginia Divorce Attorney is Valuable!

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

Many people going through the Virginia divorce process are handling stress and upheaval in their lives, making it difficult to focus on the tasks at hand.

When you're meeting with your Virginia divorce attorney, you want to make the most of your time, even if it takes some forethought and planning. A Chesapeake divorce can be a rather involved process, so it's important to stay organized for your Virginia divorce and discuss the vital issues with your attorney.

There are some duties your Virginia divorce attorney owes you. But real-life law practice rarely resembles television legal dramas. Your case won't be wrapped up in an hour, and your attorney can't change any laws to suit your case. Lawyers aren't superheroes, but they can be extremely helpful to you throughout your Virginia divorce.

Virginia divorce can be a painful time, but it's best to avoid intense emotional discussions with your attorney. He or she is a professional trained to help you work through the legal aspects of divorce, and wouldn't be the best person to address your mental health needs. In short, you should approach your time with your lawyer as you would any business relationship.

Your Virginia divorce attorney should, in turn, be willing and able to guide you through the Virginia divorce process, represent your best interests, and be fair when charging fees.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Every minute counts in a Chesapeake divorce so make sure you maximize the time you get with your Virginia divorce attorney. There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia.

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Contact a Chesapeake Divorce Lawyer if You Suspect Desertion

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

If your husband has left you and you have reason to believe this is a case of desertion you should contact a Chesapeake divorce lawyer as soon as possible. Your husband may have expressed his intent to desert you verbally, in writing, or by his actions.

Desertion is one of the most difficult things a woman can go through. It can negatively affect your children and threaten your financial security, and you're left to handle all the fallout on your own.

Even if your relationship with your husband has been rocky and you were considering ending the marriage, you may still feel shocked, hurt, and afraid when he leaves you with no intention of returning.

There are cases in which a husband leaves home with no intention of going back, but finds out from an attorney that his actions constitute desertion, so he returns to the family home. When the husband leaves but then decides to come back, the wife may understandably be upset and want him gone, but there is little she can do.

With the exception of domestic abuse cases, Virginia law is not quick to order a person out of the home. A wife's best bet is to take a deep breath, consult with her Chesapeake divorce lawyer, and commit to dealing with her husband being in the home until an alternative plan can be worked out.

Contacting a Chesapeake Divorce Lawyer

Desertion is a scary situation to find yourself in, not to mention angering, so contact a Chesapeake divorce lawyer to take control of your situation. The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey.

In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Chesapeake divorce lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200

Considering a DIY Divorce in Virginia? 3 Risks You Need to Understand

Thu, 07 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're first considering divorce in Virginia, a do-it-yourself divorce might seem like an appealing option. You may have heard that going this route is cheaper, quicker, easier, and it saves you the trouble of dealing with a lawyer.

The truth is that do-it-yourself divorce has turned out to be a mistake for many people. The main reason? Divorce isn't always simple. There may very well be factors in your marriage that would make a divorce complicated, but you can't determine this if you're not familiar with the laws surrounding a divorce in Virginia

Conflicts in Your Virginia Divorce

Division of property can be a hassle if you have assets that are difficult to value or if you and spouse cannot agree on how the property is to be divided. You don't want to get cheated out of assets that rightfully belong to you.

If you have children, you and your spouse will have to deal with arranging acceptable custody/parenting plans as well as child support. For parents, this is a very difficult part of a divorce.

It's not easy to address all these issues along with handling the considerable amount of paperwork involved in the divorce process.

It's smart to have a professional on your side to stand up for your best interests. Even if you're still considering handling your own divorce, you should consult with a qualified attorney to learn about all your options.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

When Servicewomen Initiate Divorce in Virginia

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're a servicewoman who is going through a divorce in Virginia, a Hampton divorce attorney can help you through the process. Serving in the armed forces is a noble calling, but it can put a strain on any relationship and holds the potential to put marriages at risk. The typical challenges of any marriage are exacerbated when you factor in the physical separation, extreme stress and lack of regular communication that comes with life in the military.

Pentagon statistics have shown that women in the military end up in divorce twice as often as men in the military. Many divorces result in a sense of loss and can be financially troubling, particularly for military women. In fact, divorce puts them at great risk for homelessness down the road.

Researchers have attempted to pinpoint why women are more often in divorce and results are unclear. One theory is that women who are attracted to participate in the military are less conventional and could be less willing to stay in a dysfunctional marriage. To combat this, many married women in the military are married to another service member who can understand the balancing act between military duty and family responsibility.

As a military woman you are under a lot of pressure and you need the proper support and space after serving to transition back into your role at home. With a shaky relationship this transition is made even more difficult and you may find yourself in a divorce in Virginia. Do not feel overwhelmed because a Hampton divorce attorney can answer all of your questions about your divorce in Virginia.

Contacting a Hampton Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The military divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Understanding Grandparents' Rights in Virginia

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

Are you seeking information about grandparents' rights in Virginia? Grandparents' rights simply mean that grandparents and other persons of interest can file for visitation rights during Virginia child custody cases.

Grandparents are important people in children's lives. They provide a special kind of love that differs from the parental connection. Traditionally, grandparents have been seen as the relatives who spoil children with sweets and gifts, but they also pass down family traditions and give youngsters a link to the past.

When a couple gets a divorce and faces a Virginia child custody case, the custody arrangement's focus is primarily on the parents. However, it makes sense that the child's grandparents would have the opportunity to pursue legal rights to visitation.

In many cases, the grandparents who apply for visitation are the parents of the non-custodial parent in the Virginia child custody arrangement and are rightfully concerned about how the new situation will affect them.

Virginia family law determines grandparents' rights to visitation as it would any child custody request. The best interests of the child are considered, and basically, if the grandparent-grandchild relationship is deemed a safe and healthy one, visitation may be granted.

The success of grandparents' rights issues depends on many details. It's best to have a Virginia child custody attorney on your side.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

When Your Military Husband is Behind on Virginia Child Support

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

Virginia military divorce has its own unique set of rules and regulations that can make it seem more complicated than civilian divorce.

If your ex-spouse is in the military and he's behind on his child support payments, there's a specific procedure you need to go through to collect what's owed to you.

First, you will need to fill out a document called an "Income Withholding Order." On this form, you will need to put all your ex's personal information such as name, address, Social Security number and employment information. You need this form in order to collect back child support from your ex after a military divorce. Your divorce decree alone is not sufficient.

The form needs to be sent to the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) Cleveland Garnishment Operation. You can send the order by fax or paper mail. Once the DFAS has received the form, they will begin the process of helping you collect Virginia child support after your Virginia military divorce.

The amount of Virginia child support you can expect to receive after your military divorce depends on what amount is in your divorce decree or separation agreement. It's possible to collect an arrearage of child support (back child support), but your withholding order needs to include directions regarding this.

The U.S armed forces takes child support orders very seriously and the military structure will help you to collect child support that's due you after your military divorce.

Contacting a Family Law Divorce Lawyer in Virginia

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Contemplating Later Life Divorce in Virginia? Here Are 3 Things to Think About!

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're contemplating a later life divorce, you'll understandably have some concerns. Many older couples have had quite a few years together, and it's by no means easy to break a long-standing bond.

There are a number of things to think about as you approach your Virginia divorce.

Reactions of your adult children. You may not have to worry about child custody, but don't underestimate how hard your later-life divorce may hit your adult children and your grandchildren. They may react emotionally when they get the news.
Dividing Assets. If you and your spouse own a home, cars, and other holdings at the time of your later life divorce, you will have the job of dividing your assets. This isn't always easy, and you may find it to your advantage to seek out divorce mediation and write up a separation agreement to set out the terms of your divorce.
Making ends meet. For some women, dividing assets isn't the biggest concern in a Virginia divorce. The simple question of how to make ends meet is a very difficult reality for many seniors. Spousal support can help you with your new life after a later life divorce. There are guidelines for spousal support in Virginia. Your Virginia divorce attorney will advocate for you to help you get what's due to you.

A later life divorce can be a challenging time in a woman's life, but with the help of a divorce attorney with your best interests in mind, you can come through it with dignity and move on with the rest of your life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

6 Questions to Ask Before You Hire Your Newport News Divorce Lawyer

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

You should take special care when choosing an attorney to handle your Virginia divorce case. There are some questions you should ask yourself when you're looking for a lawyer to represent you.

Does the lawyer focus specifically on family law? Divorce involves the most important parts of your life: your children, your home, and your finances. Choose an attorney who's experienced these types of cases.
Who will be handling your case? Sometimes, an attorney will delegate a case (or parts of a case) to a paralegal or associate. Ask to meet these individuals to be sure that you're comfortable with the arrangement.
Is the lawyer attentive and on task? An attorney should listen to the details of your case and be prepared to guide you through the divorce process.
Is the attorney willing to negotiate a settlement? Divorce shouldn't be all about who wins and who loses, but about reaching a fair settlement.
Is the lawyer a good communicator? Look for someone who takes the time to educate you about the divorce process and is willing to answer your questions.
Is the lawyer a person of good character? An attorney should be respectful, compassionate, and honest not detached, rude, or make any unrealistic promises.

Choosing an attorney is the first and most important part of your Virginia divorce case. Be sure to do your homework and go with an attorney you feel comfortable with.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

When Career/Success is Blamed for Your Virginia Divorce

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

When most couples marry, they hope to be successful in their careers so that they can build stable homes. Unfortunately, career success can put a strain on a marriage, sometimes resulting in Virginia divorce.

Changes in career affect marriage and family life, even positive ones, like promotions and raises, for several reasons:

Schedule changes can cause tension in the home, particularly when one partner is occupied with work and the other has to shoulder more domestic responsibilities.
Financial disagreements can lead to Virginia divorce. Even a positive career change can cause a power imbalance and arguments over money.
Jealousy and competition between spouses is not unheard of. When one partner has more career success than the other, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, fear of abandonment and other issues.
Career success doesn't always turn out as planned, and a couple has to face the emotional and financial realities that setbacks can bring. In some cases, this can put a great deal of stress on the marriage and contribute to the decision to seek a Virginia divorce.

If career success issues cause problems between you and your spouse and you're considering ending your marriage, you should contact a Virginia divorce attorney as soon as possible.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

What is no-fault divorce in Virginia?

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're considering divorce in Virginia, no-fault divorce may be one of your options. Most states offer no-fault divorce, either on its own or in addition to fault grounds.

What is no-fault divorce in Virginia?

In fault divorce, the partners have to state a reason or "grounds" for their divorce. Usually these grounds consist of adultery, cruelty, abandonment and more. No-fault divorce means you don't have to state a specific reason for deciding to end your marriage.

Usually, in a no-fault divorce, the reason for divorce is listed as "irreconcilable differences" or "irreparable breakdown of the marriage." People can choose no-fault divorce if their marital breakdown didn't involve fault grounds for divorce or if they prefer to proceed with the divorce without placing blame.

Guidelines for No-Fault Divorce in Virginia

In order to be able to obtain a no-fault divorce in Virginia, you and your spouse need to have lived apart for a period of one year. While Virginia has no legal separation, this period of living apart exists to help you understand the seriousness of divorce and to prepare for your future.

In some cases, the waiting period can be reduced to 6 months if the couple has no children and they've drawn up a separation agreement detailing the divorce's conditions, like division of property and spousal support.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

What You Should Know About How VA Child Support is Calculated

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you and your spouse end your marriage, you will have the responsibility of supporting your children together even though you are no longer a couple. Virginia child support guidelines exist to make sure that children of divorced parents receive a fair and livable amount of monthly financial support.

Many divorcing parents have questions about how VA child support is calculated. Even if you have looked at the charts, it can still be a bit confusing.

In general, Virginia child support is calculated by looking at the monthly incomes of both the custodial and non-custodial parents. The court then compares each parent's monthly gross income to the combined gross income.

To determine the monthly obligation, each party's percentage of combined income is multiplied by the total monthly child support costs.

This example of how VA child support is calculated is based on a situation in which one parent has sole custody. In case of other child custody arrangements, or changes in the parent's circumstances, the Virginia child support will be adjusted accordingly.

There are many factors that influence how VA child support is calculated. If you are getting a divorce, you should have a knowledgeable divorce attorney on your side to represent you.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

U.S. Divorce Rates Have Declined

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're getting divorced in Virginia, you're probably more concerned about your own personal struggle than you are about statistics, but knowing some basic information about divorce rates can help you put things in perspective and plan for your future.

In the 1970s, it seemed the institution of marriage was in serious trouble. Traditional gender roles were re-examined, and women entered the workforce in record numbers. These social and economic changes, along with more relaxed divorce laws, led to skyrocketing divorce rates among American couples.

Fast forward to today. Marriage is alive and well, and the U.S. divorce rate has actually dropped steadily since 1996 for multiple reasons. The social upheaval of the '70s has simmered down; couples have many more resources to help them learn effective partnership skills; and people are waiting longer to tie the knot.

While the U.S. divorce rate is decreasing, some couples will find themselves in circumstances that warrant a divorce. If you're getting a Virginia divorce, you should know that you are not alone. You should also know that your divorce is likely to go much more smoothly when you have an experienced attorney on your side to stand up for your best interests.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Understanding Virginia Separation Agreement Forms

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

Embarking on a divorce is difficult for anyone. Even for those partners who have no doubts about their incompatibility and are eager to end their marriage, the act of separation can be difficult for both practical and emotional reasons.

As you begin the process of officially ending your marriage, you should consider a separation agreement. Virginia separation agreements are legal documents that contain the conditions of your separation and divorce.

A separation agreement contains the basic legal language that appears in most types of agreements or contracts. In the opening lines of a Virginia separation agreement, it states that you and your spouse mutually agree to settle your property, custody, and financial issues.

The main portion of the Virginia separation agreement will include the decisions you and your spouse have made regarding issues like child custody and child support, division of property, and spousal support.

It's not always easy to come to agreements about such important matters, but having a separation agreement can make your divorce process go more smoothly. Remember that a separation agreement is binding, and a judge usually takes the agreement as your final decisions regarding all these issues.

It's best not to attempt to execute a separation agreement on your own. Be sure to have a Virginia divorce attorney on your side to make sure that the document is fair and legal.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The 5 Grounds for Divorce in Virginia

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

People decide to seek a divorce for a variety of reasons. If you're considering ending your marriage, you should become familiar with the grounds for divorce in Virginia.

Grounds for divorce give reason to why your marriage ended. The 5 grounds for divorce in Virginia are the following:

If the couple has been living apart for a period of 1 year, the law will consider them separated long enough to file for divorce.
The separation period can be reduced to 6 months if the partners have executed a separation agreement and have no minor children.
For adultery (sexual relations outside of the marriage), or for sodomy or buggery.
In situations where one of the partners has been sentenced to a prison term of 1 year or more, and the other spouse ceased co-habiting with him or her after learning of the conviction.
In cases of abuse, where one spouse reasonably fears bodily harm from the other, or in cases of desertion.

If you have questions about any of the grounds for divorce in Virginia, you should speak with an experienced divorce attorney.

An attorney can advise you about the details of the grounds for divorce in Virginia and can help you understand the more complicated areas of Virginia divorce law.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Prepare Yourself for the Emotional Challenges of Ending a Marriage in Virginia

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're ending a marriage in Virginia, you will likely run the gamut of emotions during the divorce process. Even if you're relieved and glad the marriage is over, you will likely have some difficult feelings to resolve.

Ending a marriage in Virginia involves dividing property, creating custody and visitation plans for children, and very often moving to a new home. All these things can be stressful. In addition, you have the reality that a once-loving relationship has now come to an end.

Marriages rarely die immediately; they usually erode slowly, going through several stages of breakdown. Every stage of the process has its own distinct emotional challenges.

The early stages usually involve a general sense of disappointment and unhappiness. Partners may say hurtful and critical things about each other and blame each other for anything that goes wrong.

Soon, the partners withdraw from each other and become cold. They may no longer fight, but they won't have much positive interaction, either. They avoid spending time together.

Ending a marriage isn't emotionally easy, but in some cases, it is the best option. If you're considering divorce, you should contact a Virginia divorce attorney. Having an attorney on your side to deal with the legal aspects can allow you more time to work on your own emotional healing.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Is He Hiding Something from You During Your Virginia Divorce?

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

In a Virginia divorce, both spouses are required to be open and honest regarding all their financial holdings and property. Unfortunately, not everyone is truthful when it comes to his or her assets. Hiding assets is not an uncommon behavior.

It can be painful to think your husband would be dishonest with you during an already difficult time for both of you, but you need to be aware of the possibility.

People hide assets for many reasons, but usually because they want to leave the marriage with as much money as possible, and because, out of spite, they want to deny their spouse their fair share. In some cases, the secrecy around finances and assets was a part of the marriage for a long time, and contributed to marital breakdown.

If you think your husband may be hiding assets during your Virginia divorce, it's a serious matter that needs to be looked into. If he has more assets than he's showing and he's not found out, you can end up being cheated out of what is rightfully yours in the Virginia divorce.

When it comes to hiding assets, people can use various strategies. They may transfer money to a family member's name, have secret accounts of their own, or falsify information on financial documents. These methods are not always easy to detect.

During your divorce, your attorney can help you determine whether your husband is hiding assets. He or she can examine important financial documents and keep an eye out for any clues that might point to suspicious activity.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Protect Your Credit Score After a Messy Virginia Divorce!

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you and your spouse are facing divorce, you need to think about preserving or repairing your credit. While you may already feel overwhelmed by the other things you have to deal with at this difficult time, taking the necessary steps to protect yourself will save you more heartache after Virginia divorce.

Before your divorce proceedings begin, you should close all joint accounts. This is an essential step when you're trying to resolve credit problems. Most couples share their money, and while this can be seen as a sign of love and trust in a relationship, it can complicate matters quite a bit when a marriage comes to an end.

Throughout your Virginia divorce, be sure your bills are being paid to the best of your ability. If your soon-to-be-ex is not paying bills that he is responsible for, that can be addressed in court when the time comes.

During your divorce you should contact your creditors and try to work out a plan to pay off or settle your debt. Dealing with creditors can be nerve-wracking, but sometimes negotiating with them can help you resolve your credit issues.

If your attempts to pay off or settle your debts are unsuccessful, you can freeze your accounts. While this won't resolve your credit issues entirely it can help prevent further damage.

When accounts are frozen, neither you nor your ex can use them, so no more debt will be accrued. During your divorce the court will decide who is responsible for the debt, and will transfer responsibility for it to the appropriate party.

Contacting a Divorce Attorney in Virginia

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life

The Issue of Separation in Virginia

Thu, 26 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you and your spouse are having serious problems in your relationship and feel that ending your marriage is the only option, your first step is separation.

A Virginia separation gives you and your spouse time to experience the reality of being apart and prepare for the life you will lead after divorce. In Virginia, the period of separation necessary before filing for divorce is 6 months to a year.

Unlike separation in some other states, separation in Virginia does not require you to file any specific paperwork or receive any document that declares you legally separated.

You and your spouse simply agree to stop living together as a couple. This usually means that one or both of you must physically move out of the marital home, but in some cases, the court will accept what is known as "in-home separation".

While you don't need any special documents to separate from your spouse, it's very wise to execute a Virginia separation agreement. Separation agreements help set out the conditions of your separation and they usually make a Virginia divorce quicker and easier.

In a Virginia separation agreement, you and your ex put all your important separation decisions in writing. For example, you can include your decisions about dividing your assets, child support, access and ownership of the family home, and many more vital issues.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Virginia Women: What to Know About Leaving an Addict

Mon, 23 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're seeking a Virginia divorce from a husband who has an addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex, you should be aware of the unique, sometimes-complicated dynamics that are often at work in an addict's relationships.

Leaving an addict can be challenging. Many times, there are co-dependency issues between partners that aren't always easy to see. This can lead the addicted partner to try and control and manipulate his spouse into remaining in the relationship.

If you're ready to end your relationship and you're seeking a Virginia divorce, you should stand by your decision and not allow yourself to be affected by your husband's emotional strategies.

Guilt is a common feeling for many people when leaving an addict. You may feel that you are walking away from him when he needs you most, or that staying with him a little longer and giving him another chance would help him recover.

In reality, the choice to seek help for an addiction is ultimately up to the addicted individual. Staying locked in an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship with an addict doesn't do either of you any good, so you should not feel guilty about seeking a Virginia divorce in that situation.

Addiction affects every aspect of a person's life and frequently leads to erratic or irresponsible behavior, and sometimes abuse. If you have any concerns that seeking a Virginia divorce may lead to violence from your husband, please - seek help from your local domestic abuse organization.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

What You Need To Know About Joint Custody in Virginia

Fri, 13 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

Joint custody is one of the parenting plan options for people going through a Virginia divorce. There are 3 types of joint custody in Virginia, and it's a good idea to understand the differences between them.

In joint legal custody, the child lives with one parent, but both parents have the power to make the childrearing decisions. In shared physical custody, the child divides his or her time between parental homes.

Parents can also create their own hybrid arrangement that combines joint legal and shared physical custody. In this way, there's quite a bit of leeway when addressing joint custody in Virginia.

Before pursuing joint custody in Virginia, you should take into consideration all the financial, legal, and emotional pros and cons.

It's not always easy for a divorcing couple to handle the cooperation involved in sharing joint custody in Virginia, but it's necessary if they want their co-parenting to go smoothly.

If the divorcing couple can work out an agreeable parenting plan, they can put it in writing in their Virginia separation agreement and avoid the drama of a courtroom custody battle.

Then, when the custody plan is put into action, the former couple can work through their differences with each other either on their own or through family counseling. This way, their children can feel more secure and adjust to the divorce in a more healthy way.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only divorce attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Virginia Divorce: A Step-by-Step Process

Thu, 12 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you and your spouse are considering divorce, you should become familiar with the steps involved in the Virginia divorce process.

The Virginia divorce process is started when one spouse (who will be known in the case as the plaintiff) files a paper called a "Bill of Complaint for Divorce" with the court. The Complaint contains basic information such as the partners' names and birth dates and those of their children, date of marriage, and grounds for divorce.

Once the compliant is filed, the defendant is expected to file a document called an "answer." The case can proceed when the answer is filed, or after 21 days has gone by, whichever comes first. At this stage of the divorce process, you can request a preliminary hearing in which a judge will issue a temporary (or pendente lite) order that addresses these matters.

The next step in the Virginia divorce process is the hearing itself. The purpose of a hearing is to prove that you have valid grounds for divorce. Many people find the hearing a difficult part of the Virginia divorce process, but it's much easier when you have a trustworthy Virginia divorce attorney on your side to advocate for you.

The Virginia divorce process is concluded when the court issues a divorce decree. The divorce decree states that your marriage has been dissolved and it also details the decisions that the judge has made in regard to division of property, child and spousal support, and child custody.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

How do you plan to tell your husband you're ready for a Virginia divorce?

Wed, 11 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

Each marriage is unique, so there are various ways to approach communicating about divorce. However, there are some rules of thumb to follow that might make things go more smoothly.

Many women are surprised by their husband's reaction to the news of an impending Virginia divorce. Even if the marriage has been breaking down for a while, he may still be shocked when you finally express your decision.

It's best that you handle your own emotions the best way you can before communicating about divorce. That will make it easier for you to handle your husband's response. Make the choice to be calm and logical.

While anger and discord may very well have been a part of your marriage, it's best to try and leave those things behind when you're communicating about divorce. Don't yell or make accusations; simply explain why you're choosing to end the marriage.

If you have children, you can tell your husband you want to continue to share parenting with him and that you'd like to create a custody plan that will work for both of you after the Virginia divorce.

Don't let your husband make you feel guilty about filing for a Virginia divorce, and don't give yourself a guilt trip, either. If you know you're doing the right thing, stand your ground.

Communicating about divorce isn't always easy, but if you start now, you and your ex can have healthier communication as you move on with your lives after Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Pendente Lite hearing affects Wife's Virginia Divorce

Tue, 10 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

Beware of an Attorney who does not prepare you for a Pendente Lite Hearing in a Divorce case ! Perhaps one of the greatest errors i observe in Divorce cases is the unprepared client or worse, an unprepared attorney. Pendente Lite Hearings are initial court hearings to temporarily resolve issues of spousal support, custody,,visitation, child support,

possession of the residence, payment of the mortgage and debts (after 7/1/11) restraining orders regarding no harassment of the parties and no wasting of assets and the issues of attorney fees and expert fees. It is very important that you the client be aware of exactly what will happen at your pendente lite hearing.
The most likely thing to happen is that you will be advised to try and settle these issues out in the hall or in a small conference room in the courthouse. The pressure to peacefully resolve unresolved issues is being applied by the Judge and in turn by your attorney and your husband's attorney. If You have met with your attorney prior to this hearing and spent time preparing for this eventuality then your attorney knows the parameters of settlement and can act accordingly. If you have not met with your attorney, then you will feel very pressured to arrive at an agreement and unsure of your decisions. Don't wait for your attorney to set this appointment. Do it as soon as you are noticed for a Pendente Lite Hearing.

Virginia Mothers--Be wary of Your Child's Guardian Ad Litem

Mon, 09 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

Remember ! Your Child's Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) may oppose you in court ! Don't ever lose sight of that possibility. You should not meet with a guardian ad litem before you have had time to talk with your attorney, if you have one. If you don't have an attorney,you can have a one hour consultation with an experienced custody lawyer to help you figure out how best to present your case to the court appointed GAL.

Most GAL's will ask you to fill out a parenting questionairre. Be careful how you answer questions for the Guardian. In the courtroom, they may favor dad and will try and use your questionairre answers against you. Remember the GAL is your child's attorney, not yours. Thus, you are always in the difficult position of trying to influence the guardian to your point of view while not being overly critical or ugly about the child's father. This is the tightrope you must carefully walk.

3 Ways Your Ex May Try to Alienate You from Your Kids after a Virginia divorce

Sun, 08 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you have suffered a Virginia divorce but also are dealing with an angry ex-husband you may be at risk for parental alienation.

The 3 ways that your ex may try to alienate you from your kids after a Virginia divorce include:

criticizing you;
spoiling your child; and
withholding information.

Joint custody in Virginia is difficult enough without your ex using parental alienation to manipulate your child's feelings. When your ex complains about you when you aren't around to defend yourself he is acting inappropriately. He may be upset about the custody ruling or bitter about the split but he should not be allowed to hatefully disparage you to your child.

Your ex could make you look bad to your child in other ways as well, without outright criticisms. He can try to make you look bad by comparison by showering your child with expensive gifts or trips, or even indulging your child by allowing activities that used to be off-limits.

When your ex lets your child stay up late watching R-rated movies and eating junk food your house seems less appealing. Familiarize yourself with Virginia child custody laws so you'll know when your ex is acting out of turn.

An uncommunicative ex can be just as bad as one that goes out of his way to criticize or spoil. When an ex withholds information from you, like the days and times of a child's dance recital or sporting event you appear disinterested when you are absent from these important events. When an ex refuses to communicate with you he may be using parental alienation.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Lawyer

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only Virginia child custody lawyers will guide you every step of the way to advocate that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Virginia Mother's Beware--Guardian Ad Litem (part B)

Sun, 08 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

As a Mother, when dealing with a Guardian Ad Litem in your child custody case:

Don't Exaggerate, Understate.--when explaining the difficulties you are encountering with the father of your child, narrow the focus and the conversation to the top 1 or 2 issues. Focus on the most critical issue and be organized about your concerns. Have specific incidences outlined in summary form with a list of any witnesses, their phone numbers, email address and physical address as well as the best time to call. Give a copy of your outline to the GAL but make sure their is no profanity and no opinions about dad. The outline should not be longer than one page.

Don't be a "Gusher" in your first Meeting - If you are speaking more than 5 or 6 minutes straight about an issue, you are probably "gushing". I liken "gushing" to verbally throwing upon the GAL, trying to express all your thoughts and emotions about dad's parenting deficiencies in one prolonged monologue. The problem with "gushing" is the GAL, like other people, just quit hearing and discerning what you are trying to communicate. They simply turn "gushers" off.

Part "C" to follow-Feed your information to the GAL in manageable doses---- Your GAL may oppose you in Court-----

When is an annulment in Virginia possible?

Sat, 07 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

There are sometimes misconceptions concerning annulment, so if you're seeking an annulment in Virginia, it's best to learn the laws surrounding it in order to know whether your marriage meets the criteria.

Annulment is different from divorce. An annulment makes a marriage null and void, so essentially it's as though the marriage never happened. In order for this to be appropriate, the marriage has to have some defect or have been entered into based on false pretenses.

For example, a marriage may have been illegal at the time it was performed because the person who performed the ceremony wasn't properly licensed to do so. Marriages may also be illegal if the parties are close relatives, younger than the age of consent or if one of the partners is still legally married to someone else at the time.

Annulment in Virginia is also possible if the marriage occurred under fraudulent circumstances. For example, if one partner failed to disclose an important fact that would certainly have influenced the other's decision to enter into the union (such as a prior felony conviction, prostitution career, pregnancy or child with another individual within 10 months of marriage), annulment in Virginia may be an option.

While laws surrounding annulment in Virginia differ quite a bit from those of divorce, it may still be necessary for the court to address issues of child custody, child support and possibly spousal support, as well.

Annulment in Virginia isn't very common and is rarely granted in order to meet religious requirements. If you have questions about annulment, you should speak with a Virginia divorce attorney.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Virginia Mother's BEWARE of Guardian Ad Litem in Child Custody Cases

Sat, 07 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

When custody of your children is in dispute, or sometimes, when visitation cannot be agreed to by the parents, courts will often appoint a Guardian Ad Litem to represent the "best interest" of your Children..

Don't Assume The Guardian Ad Litem will Share Your View

A Guardian ad Litem, often referred to as a GAL, is a court appointed attorney who can have a significant influence on the outcome of your custody case and that influence can be against your interest and in favor of the children's father. So do not assume that a GAL will share your views about what is best for your children.

Don't Spill Your Guts to the Guardian Ad Litem

Be Careful about spilling your guts to the GAL. If you start spilling your guts and telling the GAL about every wrong thing the children's father has ever done, you will quickly turn the GAL against you and once they form an opinion about you, it is hard to undo that opinion. GAL's are people just like you and me and they bring to your case their own predjudices and agendas. You want to be very careful what you tell a GAL and how you tell it.

Don't Criticize Father-Relate how his actions impact your child

Don't criticize Dad, Show how what Dad did impacts your child. For Instance, instead of telling the GAL that your child's father is inconsiderate and never thinks about how his actions affect young "Mike", you might describe exactly how "Mike" reacts when dad's promises are unfullfilled. Give believable examples of dad's actions and their impact on your son.
Par "B" to follow.
1. Don't Exaggerate, Understate.
2. Don't be a "Gusher" in your first meeting
3. Feed Your Information to the GAL in manageable doses
4. Remember the GAL may be your ADVERSARY in court. Don't Ever Forget This !

What You Need to Know About a Separation Agreement for your Virginia Divorce

Fri, 06 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're getting a Virginia divorce, you have a lot to consider. There are so many issues to work through as you and your spouse separate your lives and property that it helps to have something solid in writing as your guide.

A separation agreement is a document that allows you and your spouse to outline your decisions concerning division of property, parenting plans, spousal support and more. You and your partner can execute the separation agreement as soon as you decide to seek a Virginia divorce, whether or not you are still living together.

Couples who choose separation agreements often do so because they would like to have control over their divorce. If the pair cannot agree on the important matters of their divorce, the decisions will be left up to a judge.

A court will usually uphold the decisions contained in the separation agreement, so whatever you put into the agreement will be the conditions you have to live with following your Virginia divorce. It's wise to have your own attorney review the separation agreement to make sure the contents are fair and equitable.

Each state has its own specific rules and regulations pertaining to separation agreements. If you're considering executing a separation agreement, you should speak with a Virginia divorce attorney.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Proving Adultery in the Course of Your Virginia Divorce

Thu, 05 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

Adultery is one of the leading causes of Virginia divorce. If you believe your husband has cheated on you and you want to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery, you will need to show proof the infidelity occurred.

Many times, a woman will have a strong intuition that her husband is cheating. You may or may not be correct in your assumption but when it comes to Virginia divorce, proving adultery takes more than just a gut feeling.

Proving adultery is not always easy. Normally, when proving any event occurred, eyewitness testimony is the best type of evidence. Of course, when it comes to adultery, there are rarely ever any eyewitnesses to the act, so the case needs to be built on what is called circumstantial evidence.

Circumstantial evidence shows your husband had the inclination and opportunity to commit adultery.

Proving adultery in a Virginia divorce with this kind of evidence can include things like:

Letters or texts - information showing intimate communication or cell phone records that show repeated calls to the same number.

Photos - visual evidence of your spouse and the alleged paramour entering or exiting her house or a hotel or being affectionate in any public place.
Travel records - showing your husband and his suspected lover traveling to the same place at the same time.
Computers - it can hold a treasure trove of information, so if you can get access to the data, you may be in luck.

Discovering adultery is a heartbreaking experience and taking steps to prove it can be difficult in more ways than one without the help of legal counsel. If you have any questions about proving adultery, you should speak with an experienced Virginia divorce attorney.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200

6 Signs You Need to Contact a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Wed, 04 May 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorce is a painful and difficult decision for anyone. It's also one that brings with it a myriad of changes that need to be addressed through legal avenues. Some people choose do-it-yourself divorce but in many cases the problems that result from it outweigh the financial savings.

You should consider hiring a Virginia Beach divorce attorney if:

You have children -with issues like custody, visitation and child support to address, it's smart to have a Virginia Beach divorce attorney on your side.
You and your spouse disagree on most issues -when conflict is the norm, it's unlikely you'll be able to negotiate your separation without professional legal help.
You have a home and assets -in some cases, division of property can be complicated. A Virginia Beach divorce attorney can help make sure you receive your fair share.
There is or was abuse in your relationship - an abusive dynamic can make it impossible to negotiate and communicate in a safe and effective way. It's best to remove yourself from the situation and consult a Virginia Beach divorce attorney.
You're disorganized - divorce creates a large amount of paperwork. If you tend to be scatterbrained when under stress, you may benefit from the help of a Virginia Beach divorce attorney.
Your spouse has an attorney - if your husband has a lawyer to represent him, it's wise for you to seek counsel from a Virginia Beach divorce attorney.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody dispute and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Virtual "Visitation" After a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

Families dealing with divorce often have struggles when it comes to Virginia child custody and parenting plans. Sometimes, after a divorce, the ex-partners move to new locations or change jobs and find it difficult to see their children as often as they'd like.

The times between visits can be difficult for both the parents and the children, and can have a serious impact on the whole family's ability to recover from the trauma of divorce and adapt to child custody plans.

To address this situation, some states now have statutes recognizing "virtual visitation". Virtual visitation is electronic interaction between parent and child that is part of an overall parenting plan.

Virtual visitation is usually conducted through online chats via web cam, so parents and children who live apart can enjoy family time that is as close to "real life" as possible.

While the state of Virginia does not yet have any child custody laws pertaining to virtual visitation, this doesn't mean it is not an option for you or that parents can't use technology in order to maximize their time with their kids.

Many children and teens are technology oriented and may actually prefer some aspects of virtual visitation to face-to-face interaction. Recognizing this fact may help parents reach out more effectively to children who have a hard time communicating their feelings after divorce.

Virtual visitation methods can easily be integrated with court-ordered parenting plans. In this way, kids can enjoy more quality time with both of their parents. Talk to your Virginia Beach child custody lawyer about whether virtual visitation is a viable option for your post-divorce family.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Child Custody Lawyer

Our Virginia Beach child custody lawyers care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

4 Signs You Should Seek Marital Counseling Before Filing for Virginia Divorce

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

Marital counseling addresses many of the issues that might lead a couple to seek a Virginia divorce, whether it's financial disagreements, infidelity, arguments about the children or most any other conflict.

The following are just a few scenarios in which a couple might benefit from seeking marital counseling before a Virginia divorce:

You keep facing the same conflict again and again - eventually, this cyclical bickering can stress both you and your partner to the point of considering Virginia divorce. However, sometimes the solution can come through creative brainstorming with the guidance of marital counseling.
You went through a stressful major event - things like a sudden loss of income or the death of a close family member can lead to Virginia divorce, particularly when partners handle grief in vastly different ways. Marital counseling can help the partners work through such emotional complications.
You're willing to make changes - change isn't always easy but it is often necessary when a marriage is on the brink of a Virginia divorce. When you're in marital counseling, you and your spouse should be open to making changes in the way you approach your relationship, even if these changes are non-traditional or take some getting used to.
You're both on board - while it's possible for only one spouse to undergo marital counseling, it is very difficult for any progress to take place in this arrangement. Partners don't have to be in the best of moods when they arrive at counseling, as long as they show up and are willing to try.

Deciding to seek a Virginia divorce is a life-altering decision. When it's your only option, you'll want to work with a Virginia divorce attorney, who can help your case go as smoothly as possible, so you can focus on the future.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.
The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Telling Loved Ones About Your Husband's Affair and Possible Virginia Divorce

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

When your husband has an affair, it affects not only your marriage but also your relationships with other people.

For instance, you may be wondering whether you should tell your family and friends about your husband's adultery. On one hand, you may think that people close to you already notice that something isn't right between you and your spouse and that it's best if they're prepared in case you decide to seek a Virginia divorce.

On the other hand, you may feel that your husband's adultery is very personal information and that telling others may make matters worse by encouraging gossip.

Whether you tell people about your husband's adultery depends on a few factors. Before you tell anyone, you should first ask yourself whether the individual is trustworthy. Can you be confident that the news of your husband's adultery and your possible Virginia divorce won't be spread around to others?

If you do decide to discuss this information, it should be with people you love and trust. Even in that case, how much information you reveal is up to you.

While it may feel therapeutic to vent about your husband's adultery, doing so may backfire on you if you both decide not to get a Virginia divorce. It will be more difficult to rebuild your marriage if the people surrounding you are turned against your husband and are unsupportive.

How you cope with the aftermath of your husband's adultery is your decision, including whether you want to tell others that your husband had an affair. Either way, be sure it's the right decision for you and your future.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

When The Division of Property is Complicated in a Virginia Divorce

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

During a Virginia divorce, the law is designed to be as fair as possibly when dividing assets equitably between the divorcing parties. While this may seem like it would be a rather simple practice, in reality it can be complicated. First, determining which assets should be divided isn't always a clear-cut decision.

In a Virginia divorce, unless the couple sets out their plans in a separation agreement, the court needs to sort out marital and separate property and divide the marital property between the spouses.

It's possible to run into complications in this scenario. For example, if a couple's family home was purchased using funds from the sale of a home one of the spouses owned prior to marriage, complications can result.

Dividing assets fairly in a Virginia divorce doesn't always mean splitting them 50/50. There are many factors that determine the division of property, including the role each partner played in the marital breakdown, the contributions each spouse made to the marriage and, of course, the value of the assets.

Determining the value of assets can sometimes be another tricky aspect of dividing assets in a Virginia divorce. For example, it can be difficult to determine the value of holdings that won't reach their full value until some point in the future.

Also, it can be hard to determine the value of businesses or artwork. Dividing assets can present a host of tax issues as well, so it's best to consult with a knowledgeable Virginia divorce attorney so the financial aspects of your divorce can be handled wisely.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical you have exceptional legal representation who not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Stepparent Rights in Virginia: What You Need to Know!

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're thinking of building a family through stepparent adoption in Virginia, you should know as much as you can about the process.

Stepparent adoption helps give children a sense of stability and security by creating a family bond that is legally and socially recognized. Virginia family law tries to make stepparent adoption as quick and simple a process as possible. Even so, your stepparent rights in Virginia are a bit limited until the process is finalized.

In some situations, stepparent adoption can be complicated. This happens primarily in cases where the absent biological parent is still legally part of the child's life. Because Virginia family law holds a biological parent's rights in high regard, an individual can only adopt his or her spouse's child if the child's other biological parent is no longer eligible or able to parent.

If the child's other biological parent is alive and can be located, he or she would have to agree to the adoption. There are exceptions to this, for example, in cases where the parent has given up parental rights or has had those right terminated by a Virginia family law court.

To begin the stepparent adoption process, an individual files a petition for adoption in circuit court. Normally, Virginia family law doesn't require any investigation or home study before granting a stepparent adoption but may authorize courts to do so, if necessary.

Stepparent adoption is a big step. If you and your spouse are considering stepparent adoption, you should consult an attorney experienced in Virginia family law to help the process go as smoothly as possible.

Contacting a Virginia Family Law Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Recovering Financially After a Later Life Divorce in Virginia

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

Later life divorce is becoming more common as people take a less traditional approach to aging. While parting ways with a spouse and starting a new, single life can be difficult at any age, it can be especially hard for mature individuals who are also facing the challenges of their senior years.

Managing your money is one of the first things to look at after your later-life divorce in Virginia. When you have a measure of financial stability, you can focus on thriving in your new post-divorce life.

Social Security benefits can be helpful when it comes to financial recovery after divorce. If your marriage lasted at least 10 years, you may be eligible to receive Social Security benefits on your ex-spouse's work record, as long as you meet the age requirements and other specifications required in Virginia.

To bring more money into your household after a later life divorce in Virginia, you can seek income from multiple sources. That doesn't necessarily mean getting a night job; many older people have valuable experience and talents that can lead to side businesses or at-home work.

You'll also need to be a good planner when it comes to managing your money. If you haven't already, you should start budgeting and planning where your money is going to go.

Your later life divorce in Virginia may bring you some challenges, but with good planning, you can find ways to manage your money and rebuild your life.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Collaborative Divorce: Is it the right choice for my later-life divorce in Virginia?

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're a woman facing a later-life divorce in Virginia, you might want to consider a collaborative divorce. In a collaborative divorce, your divorce is a team effort, rather than an adversarial process.

A collaborative divorce gives you access to professional guidance that can help you make better decisions and find more creative solutions during your divorce. You and your soon-to-be-ex will each have a Virginia divorce attorney and a divorce coach of your own. There will also be one financial specialist and one child specialist, both of whom are neutral.

All that's required of you and your spouse during your collaborative divorce is that you be civil and cooperative with one another and with the team. You also agree not to pursue litigation against each other during the collaborative divorce process.

In a later-life divorce, the partners are more mature, so they may be better able to negotiate and talk honestly about their assets and post-divorce arrangements. They may also be more interested in a divorce that doesn't lead to as much emotional and financial stress.

Collaborative divorce is not for everyone but if you're going through a later life divorce and you feel that you and your spouse can work together to end your marriage in peace, it's worth looking into.

Whatever your reasons for considering a later-life divorce, you should seek the advice of a Virginia divorce attorney.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Mental Health Support for Military Women during a Virginia Divorce

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're a woman in the military, your Virginia divorce may be just one of the harrowing experiences you've had to face in recent years.

One reason why Virginia divorce happens more frequently in military marriages is because of the stressors that come with the job. Sometimes these stresses are fairly mild, while other times they can be serious. It's not unusual for service members to suffer from depression, PTSD, and addiction.

These illnesses can severely harm every aspect of a woman's life, including her relationship with her family, and can lead to a Virginia divorce. Fortunately, there are services available that make recovery possible.

Grace After Fire is an organization that tends to the mental health needs of women in the military. They offer counseling services and the opportunity to stay at one of their recovery centers.

If you're a woman in the military who's overwhelmed by anxiety or addiction symptoms, and the stress is being compounded by your Virginia divorce, you might want to consider taking advantage of this organization or other counseling services.

Your Virginia divorce attorney is on your side to handle your legal needs, while organizations like Grace After Fire can help you and other military women during divorce to look after your mental and emotional well being.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Assessing Your Best Approach to Co-Parenting After a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 15 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're co-parenting after a divorce, you may run into some disagreements with your ex over childrearing issues. This is somewhat expected when you're adjusting to a new custody arrangement, or even after you've been co-parenting for years.

It's often hard to know the best strategy for handling contrasting views when you're co-parenting after divorce. There are so many emotions between ex-spouses they may find themselves having a hard time using a logical approach to addressing problems with the kids.

Also, children splitting their time between two households may sometimes (intentionally or not) relate misinformation to you and your spouse and end up riling you both. You should determine the facts about the situation before deciding on how you'll handle it.

Your first impulse may be to give your a ex a piece of your mind, but upon further reflection decide the matter is best addressed in a more subtle way. In other cases, you may findthe incident calls for you to intervene more strongly and make your objections known.

Whatever you do, avoid speaking about your ex in a disrespectful or abusive way, especially when your children are present. This is one thing that can severely sabotage your efforts when co-parenting after divorce.

If you find you're still struggling with cooperating with your ex, consider therapy for the whole family. Therapy can be very helpful in improving communications between you, your ex-husband and your kids.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Lawyer

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia child custody lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

5 Ways To Save Money During a Virginia Divorce

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

To save money during your Virginia divorce, you should start making good decisions before you even begin the divorce process.

Here are 5 ways to approach your divorce in order to save yourself as much money as possible:

Connect with a trustworthy Virginia divorce attorney - your attorney will advocate for you to help make sure you are treated fairly in your divorce.
Consider what type of Virginia divorce you want - traditional courtroom divorce can be a stressful and costly experience. Collaborative divorce might be a better option for you and could help you save money. Ask your attorney if you'd be a good candidate for this.
When you're looking at life after a Virginia divorce, you should have solid goals, and have them in writing - make it clear to yourself and your family what you plan for your life in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. This can inspire you to save money and keep going when things are tough.
Get some type of professional psychological counseling - while it may seem like an added expense, it could very well help you save money in the long run. Divorce can do a number on a person's emotional state, and being depressed, angry, and sad never helped anyone manage money wisely. An investment in your mental health is one of the smartest moves you can make.
Finally, invest in some post-divorce life management books - while they can't replace the advice of your Virginia divorce attorney, they can contain some excellent information on all aspects of your divorce, including how to save money.

Am I A Virginia Resident For My Military Divorce

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

RESIDENCY AND DOMICILE

It's important to be aware of the residency and domicile requirements of initiating a divorce action in Virginia. At the time the divorce suit is filed, either you or your husband must be and must have been an actual bona fide resident and domiciliary of Virginia for at least the preceding six months. The facts supporting the residence and domicile must be supported in your divorce Complaint. The residence and domicile requirements are two separate requirements, both of which must be proven in order for the court to have jurisdiction over your divorce action.

"Domicile" simply means that you or your husband live in a place permanently or at least indefinitely. Upon your separation, you may establish your own separate domicile. There are special rules governing residence and domicile of members of the armed forces. The governing statute provides the following: If a member of the armed forces of the United States has been stationed or has resided in Virginia for a period of six months or more immediately preceding the commencement of the divorce suit, then that person is presumed to be domiciled in and to have been a bona fide resident of Virginia. Your attorney can clarify this further should you have any specific questions on domicile status.

Health Issues for Virginia Women After Learning of Adultery

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you first learn that your husband had an affair, your mind and soul may race through a whole gamut of emotions. This is certainly a heartbreaking time and you might feel frozen and unsure of how to act.

You might want to try to save your marriage or you might want to seek a Virginia divorce. Whatever you ultimately choose, you need to start by clearing your head and focusing on your immediate needs.

During this time, it's important to take some steps to protect your self-esteem, mental and emotional well-being, including:

Make sure you're taking care of the basics - after you find out your husband had an affair, you might become stressed, lose your appetite and possibly develop sleeping problems. You can manage these reactions by being watchful of your habits and by seeking the care of a doctor or therapist, if necessary.
Take some time away - going on a short trip, even if it's a stay with friends or family, can help you feel supported and make it easier for you to decide your next move. Just be sure you make it clear to your husband that you'll be returning to the marital home. This way, if you seek a Virginia divorce, he can't claim you abandoned him.
Get tested for sexually transmitted infections - you may have been exposed to them through your husband's infidelity. Many of these infections show no symptoms at first but most are treatable, so don't procrastinate out of fear.

During this difficult time, you'll want to be as informed as possible. When you're dealing with the discovery of your husband's adultery, a Virginia divorce lawyer can help guide you by keeping you apprised of all your legal options.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Child Custody Concerns for Military Women during a Virginia Divorce

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

Of all the difficult aspects of a Virginia divorce, child custody issues have the potential to be the most heartbreaking. If the parents can't agree to acceptable terms, or if there are extenuating circumstances, it makes the situation even more challenging.

If you're a military woman seeking a divorce, you should be aware of custody issues unique to military life and how they may affect your Virginia child custody case.

Virginia child custody is decided according to the best interests of the child. In a military environment, where the mother faces frequent moves and deployments, the stability of the home may be called into question. This is especially true if your ex is a civilian and chooses to highlight the supposed superiority of his lifestyle over your own.

As unfair as it is, the truth is that a military woman may face more judgment from society for choosing a career that takes her away from home than a man would in the same situation.

Sadly, there have been cases where military members have lost custody of their children during deployment, but thankfully, many states have adopted laws that protect service members from unnecessary loss of child custody.

Child custody can be complicated during a military divorce. As a military woman going through divorce, it's essential that you have excellent legal representation throughout your Virginia child custody case.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

4 Duties Your Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney Owes to You

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

When it comes to attorney-client relationship, both you and your Virginia Beach divorce attorney have certain rights and responsibilities. When both parties fulfill their obligations, the divorce is more likely to be successful.

There is a specific code of conduct that guides the legal professional. Listed below are 4 key areas in which your Virginia Beach divorce attorney owes you a certain level of commitment and professionalism:

Your attorney must be loyal to your interests. The laws surrounding conflict of interests are quite complicated, but in short, your lawyer is prohibited from taking actions that are in opposition to your interests.
Confidentiality is also an important part of the attorney-client relationship. Your attorney needs to keep your private information in confidence, even after your professional relationship is over.
Your Virginia Beach divorce attorney has a duty to handle your case with competence and skill. He or she must apply their available knowledge and legal resources in your best interests. Though this may seem obvious, it isn't the case with every attorney.
Your lawyer is expected to keep you informed about developments in your case and to answer your questions. This type of communication is essential to the attorney-client relationship.

When you have a respectful, positive relationship with your Virginia Beach divorce attorney, you can be confident that your case is being handled with care and professionalism and that your best interests are being served.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

4 Tips for Staying Organized During Your Virginia Divorce

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you first meet with your Virginia Beach divorce attorney, you'll need to bring in documents that are necessary for starting the divorce process. This will likely be your first experience with the paperwork associated with divorce

Divorce is a legal process, and like any legal process it has its own specific forms of documentation. Keeping track of all this paperwork is an essential part of staying organized during divorce. Your Virginia Beach divorce attorney will appreciate your cooperation in this department.

Some people are naturally talented at staying organized, while others might need a refresher course in the basics. It's best to know beforehand what's expected of you so that you can be prepared.

Below are 4 tips for staying organized during your Virginia divorce:

Leaving your Virginia divorce documents scattered all over your desk at home is a big don't. They can easily become misplaced or end up catching a spill that way.
A 3-ring binder and hole-punch are two of your most valuable tools when you're staying organized after divorce. You can add your divorce documents to it as they come.
When you're preparing a divorce file, you might want to file documents by category, such as child custody, financial, etc.
Keeping a calendar is another way of staying organized during divorce. Your calendar can help you keep track of court dates, appointments with your Virginia Beach divorce attorney, and other important days.

To learn more about making the most of your time with your Virginia Beach divorce attorney, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Examining Your Will After Later Life Divorce in Virginia is Not Just for the Rich

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

When many people picture the reading of a will, they imagine scenes they've seen on television or in the movies. These scenes often include a well-to-do family sitting in on the reading of a deceased patriarch's will. The items being bequeathed in these fictional scenarios are often pretty impressive.

The truth is that people from all walks of life can benefit from a will. If you're going through a later-life divorce in Virginia, you should create a will if you don't have one already, or should consider revising an existing one.

The family home is one large asset that needs to be addressed in your will, but that's not all; wills can also detail your decisions about smaller items.

As you get older, you'll typically accumulate a cache of items that have either monetary or emotional value, and you may very well have specific plans for where those items will go when you pass away. China, jewelry, collectibles, even old photographs can be left to the people you love.

After your later life divorce in Virginia, your decisions about those things can change significantly. There may be new people in your life, or your feelings about some people or certain items may have changed.

Whatever you decide, be sure your wishes are written in a will with the guidance of an attorney who's familiar with estate planning.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Estate Planning After Virginia Divorce Can Help Protect Your Children's Futures

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Estate planning isn't something most people do with joy and excitement. It's a mundane task that can feel somewhat somber, since it deals with the idea of death.

If you've recently gone through a Virginia divorce, you may be wondering if it's really necessary to review or create a will or other estate planning materials. The answer is often yes. Estate planning is a very important step toward securing your loved ones' futures.

All parents want their children to be happy, safe and provided for. Even when your children are older, you have the same love and concern for them as you did when they were young. If you're creating a will after a Virginia divorce, it's a good time to take stock of your assets and decide how you'll disperse them to your children. If you're reviewing an existing will after a Virginia divorce, you can decide whether you need to make any changes or additions.

If you remarried after your Virginia divorce, you may have grown close to your new spouse's children and would like to include them in the will somehow, or you may want to reconsider which child will be in charge of your health care decisions should you become incapacitated.

Looking at these possibilities may not be easy, but try to look at estate planning after a later life divorce as making the inevitable life transitions easier for those you love.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Forgiveness and Emotional Health After Virginia Divorce

Sun, 20 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

After a Virginia divorce, forgiveness comes more easily to some people than to others. If you're the type of person who's eager to embrace healing and forgive your ex-husband, make sure you're taking a wise approach to accepting him back into your life.

Forgiveness does not have to include being friends with your ex. You can simply let go of feelings of resentment and a desire for revenge against him, and leave it at that. Sometimes, an ex who is controlling might want to be "friends" in order to keep tabs on you and maintain some hold over your life.

Ideally, forgiveness should come when the person who wronged you apologizes and shows that he has changed. If your ex hasn't done that yet, you should seriously consider whether you want to pursue a friendship with him. If your ex-husband was ever abusive or manipulative with you, be exceptionally cautious about the prospect of letting him back into your life in any way and know that his behavior likely can't change without serious therapeutic intervention.

If you have children with your ex, the child custody arrangements may make it impossible to avoid him entirely. If that's the case, you can be civil to him without letting him in emotionally.

The period following Virginia divorce can be difficult for a woman. You may feel lonely, isolated and overwhelmed by all your new responsibilities. At this time, it's important to seek support from friends, family, a therapist, or a local divorce support group.

This way, you can recover from your Virginia divorce and embrace forgiveness without sacrificing your emotional health or self-respect. Consider that your emotional well-being and the well-being of your children is more important than giving your ex- the forgiveness he may be seeking.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Managing Your Time After Virginia Divorce

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Following a Virginia divorce, your children will likely have questions and concerns to voice, as well as a need for reassurance and stability. It's unfortunate that while children need more attention from their parents after a divorce, they usually get less.

After a Virginia divorce, you may find yourself with a very different schedule than the one you had before. Whether you've moved, changed jobs, or are simply adjusting to the new rhythms of life as a single person, you may end up spending less time with your kids.

While you can't pull every demand from your schedule, you can try and balance the family's responsibilities with some basic time management strategies.

Health - first and foremost, take care of your health and well-being. Good physical and emotional health is important for time management after a Virginia divorce. Divorce can be a traumatic experience that can aggravate or cause many health issues and bad habits. Make sure you and your kids are eating and sleeping well, and seek professional care if necessary.
Keep to a schedule -- write down your daily schedule. In time management, a visual point of reference is essential. Of course, you also have to stick to it!
Learn to say "no" -- if you're overburdened by obligations, figure out which ones you can skip.
Organize chores -- create a chore wheel to simplify the old question of "who does what?" This will help your family get work done more efficiently, so you have more time for fun and closeness.

To learn more about maintaining a strong relationship with your children after divorce, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Revenge Isn't The Answer In a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Even if your Virginia divorce is over, you probably still have strong feelings about your ex-spouse and the way your marriage ended.

Revenge is a common theme associated with break-ups in general and divorce in particular. The vengeful, angry ex is a classic character in books, movies, and theater for a reason. Most of us have had at least a brief impulse toward vengeance against an ex at some point in our lives.

In a Virginia divorce, you've lost a person you once loved, and as a result endured some major life changes. In some cases, your ex may have done something hurtful and cruel to you. The emotional pain and stress of this situation might make you consider taking revenge against your ex-husband.

While revenge fantasies may be satisfying to you now and again after your Virginia divorce, bringing those fantasies into reality is a very different story. Revenge tends to create a vicious cycle, which can sometimes lead to irrational or violent behavior.

If you're in the midst of a divorce in Virginia, vengeful actions against your ex-spouse can severely damage your credibility and harm your Virginia divorce case. If you have children with your ex-spouse, revenge will cause a deeper rift in the family structure and set a bad example for your kids. In some cases, it may also lead to the court making child custody decisions that aren't favorable to you.

Rather than seeking revenge after your Virginia divorce, "get back" at your spouse in the only way that truly works: by rebuilding your life and being happy.

For more information on forgiveness and divorce, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Introducing Your Kids To Your New Partner After a Virginia Divorce

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Some women find dating again after Virginia divorce fun and exciting, while others find it a bit stressful. While it probably feels invigorating to share good times with a partner again, you want to make sure you handle your relationship wisely, particularly as it relates to your children.

When you're dating again after divorce, "gradual" is the word to remember. For the sake of your own emotional health, it's usually best to take new relationships slowly. This is even more important when you have children.

Your divorce was a difficult experience for your children just as it was for you. They deserve as much stability as possible as they adjust to their new life and family structure. Bringing in someone new too soon after Virginia divorce or too quickly in general can have harmful effects on your attempts to build a strong family.

If you're a mom who's dating after divorce, it's best to introduce your gentleman "friend" to your children only when the two of you are fairly serious. The initial meeting should be casual, relaxed, and free of romantic displays between you and your new partner. Preferably, it should take place on neutral turf like a park or a kid-friendly restaurant.

Over time - and sometimes, immediately - children will likely figure out your "friend" is your date, and they may express their feelings about this to you. Encourage them to talk, and don't let your own happy feelings about your new relationship override your children's concerns. Taking time to talk with your kids is part of dating again after divorce.

To learn more about preserving your relationship with your children after your divorce in Virginia, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Virginia Divorce is no Time to be Shy about Your Non-Monetary Contributions

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

In today's fast-paced, career-driven society, it's easy to fall into a mindset that if an activity doesn't generate income, it's not worthwhile. This outlook can even transcend into your personal life and cause some stay-at-home moms to feel the pressure to work.

This is simply just not accurate, especially so when you're in the midst of a Virginia divorce. During divorce proceedings, crucial matters such as property settlement agreements and even Virginia spousal support will be determined. Now is not the time to cower in the corner and shrug when asked about which spouse contributed to which aspect of your marriage.

Chances are, the extent of your non-monetary contributions to the family are vast, and account for more than you think.

With the help of a Virginia divorce attorney, you can fight to prove each and every one of your non-monetary contributions to your family, some of which include:

purchasing food;
cooking meals;
planning meals;
washing dishes;
maintaining the home (inside and outside);
cleaning;
laundering clothes;
repairing the home (inside and outside);
caring for infants;
caring for children;
caring for pets;
planning vacations; and
maintaining a budget.

The list goes on and on. Instead of sitting idly on the sidelines during your Virginia divorce and letting your circumstances dictate your future financial security, consider partnering with a Virginia divorce attorney who can account for your non-monetary contributions, to advocate that you get what you need and deserve going forward.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

5 Tough Questions After Discovering Infidelity in Your Virginia Marriage

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Infidelity is one of the worst things a woman can discover in her adult life. It is perhaps the hardest betrayal to endure and creates a ripple effect of self doubt. In order to come to a decision about how you want to proceed, you're likely going to grapple with some tough questions. In the end, recovering from infidelity means you'll have to find answers you can live with.

When deciding whether to reconcile or file for Virginia divorce after infidelity, some of the tough questions you may have to answer include:

How could my husband have made a move that changes our lives so permanently?
Is there enough love for my husband and I to work toward reconciliation?
If so, how can I ever learn to trust my husband again?
Can I learn to put aside my feelings of betrayal to work toward improving our marriage?
Is a Virginia divorce the best choice for our marriage?

To help process your decision, you'll have to evaluate all factors of your marriage as unemotionally as possible. To do this, it may help to jot your questions down on paper. In other cases, you may need the help of a counselor or therapist to sort through your thoughts.

Throughout this process, you may likely begin to have practical concerns, such as how you would pay the mortgage or how Virginia child support would be determined, if you did opt for a Virginia divorce. To help answer such pressing legal questions, you may want to consult with a Newport News divorce attorney.

If your husband wants a second chance after infidelity, ultimately the choice is yours whether to opt for reconciliation or Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Newport News divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Acting as an Advisor to your Family Can Impact Your Virginia Divorce Settlement

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

There are tons of uncertainties when you enter into a Virginia divorce. Worry about the future and how your kids will adjust likely rank at the top of your thoughts. If you're a stay-at-home mom who left the workforce to care for your family, you may be concerned about how you'll fare financially.

Luckily, the Virginia courts take this role very seriously, and depending on your circumstances, will account for the emotional and psychological roles you've fulfilled in your marriage and family through a Virginia spousal support award and property settlement agreement.

For instance, in addition to the day-to-day grind, such as getting groceries, maintaining your home and coordinating your children's schedules, you also play another role: that of advisor.

This means that in your Virginia divorce, some of the roles you may have filled can be included in your non-monetary contributions and may include:

religious guide;
family counselor;
career advisor;
career promoter;
child psychologist; and
professor (homework).

Just because there is not a direct dollar value that can be assigned to your contributions to the household during your marriage does not mean you'll be completely cut off financially after a Virginia divorce. While you continue to tend to your needs and those of your children, consider letting a Virginia divorce attorney build a strong case on your behalf, one that proves just how far your influence with your family stretches and how far your non-monetary contributions reach.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Creating a Plan after Infidelity Has Been Discovered in Your Virginia Marriage

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

In the days after infidelity has been made apparent in your marriage, you're likely reeling at the discovery. While you may feel like giving up, and the thought of recovering after infidelity is the last thing on your mind, you have a decision to make. Do you opt for Virginia divorce or reconciliation after infidelity?

This decision is important in more ways than one. Emotionally, making a decision that you can stick to helps pull you out of a victim mentality. It means instead of proceeding along as before, you're making steps and refusing to let the infidelity define you. This is not the time to sit idly by; you must make strides to secure your future.

After you've made your decision, creating a plan is crucial. For instance, if you decide to give reconciliation a try, you may decide that taking things slow and avoiding any sexual relationship with your husband (for the time being) is in your best interests. This is because having sex with your husband after infidelity is a sign you've forgiven him, which could jeopardize your case should you ultimately decide Virginia divorce is your only way out.

Even when you opt for Virginia divorce, having a plan will help in the transition. You'll have to consider how you're going to prove to the courts your husband committed adultery. This may be best left to a Newport News divorce attorney, which will allow you to focus on other considerations, such as where you will live during the divorce proceedings, whether to ask for Virginia spousal support and how you'll pay the mortgage and bills in the meantime.

In order to create a plan that addresses your best interests, you'll need to be well informed. A Newport News divorce attorney can provide the legal answers you need and the help you'll need, regardless of whether a Virginia divorce or reconciliation is in your future.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Newport News divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Telling Your Partner You Want a Prenuptial Agreement in Case of a Virginia Divorce

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're planning to marry and you feel that a prenuptial agreement is right for you, you'll have to discuss this matter with your fiancé. Discussing your desire for a prenuptial agreement in the case of a Virginia divorce isn't always easy. You may be concerned that your partner will feel hurt or be offended by the suggestion.

While discussing a prenuptial agreement may seem a rather unromantic task, it doesn't have to be a painful one. Keep the lines of communication open and be prepared to speak your mind and listen to your partner's feedback.

To have a successful conversation about a prenuptial agreement, be sure to highlight the ways in which the agreement would benefit your partner and your relationship overall. A prenuptial agreement protects both people in the relationship, not just the wealthier party.

It may also help to mention some facts and statistics about marriage and divorce, but if you think this would sound too cold, skip it. Instead, you can direct your partner to books and websites that clearly and concisely explain the facts about prenuptial agreements.

You and your partner can also discuss the option of a premarital agreement with a financial counselor. Financial counseling prior to marriage can help you and your partner iron out a number of money concerns before walking down the aisle.

It's important when having this conversation to reassure your partner that you have faith in the relationship. If you and your partner choose to go with a prenuptial agreement, you will be discussing a wide range of financial matters and other issues that aren't always easy to talk about. It's best to hone your communication skills as early in your marriage as possible.

Contacting a Virginia Family Law Attorney

If a prenuptial agreement is a factor in your Virginia divorce, it is important that you work with a Virginia family law attorney who can help you understand your legal standing and your legal options. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Surprising Effect of the Bad Economy on Virginia Divorce

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Numerous factors can contribute to a Virginia divorce, including financial issues. While many couples have felt the burden of financial setbacks because of the poor economy, there may be unexpected positive effects of the recession on marriage.

The recession is causing a decline in divorce rates, and many couples are learning to lean on each other and strengthen their marriages in the face of financial struggles. The National Marriage Project (NMP) reports that 29% of Americans feel that the recession has deepened their commitment to marriage.

In addition, the NMP sheds light on how divorce plans have changed because of the economic downturn. It was reported that 38% of Americans that were contemplating divorce before the recession decided to put aside their divorce plans because of the recession.

While this is welcomed news, the divorce rates will likely begin to climb again as the economy stabilizes. The divorce rate fell during the recession but is picking up, according to NPR, as it's been known to do after an economic depression.

If you're struggling with finances and concerned over the state of your marriage, the first step may be to seek marriage counseling to see if you and your husband are able to work through your differences.

If, however, you feel that filing for a Virginia divorce may still be on the horizon, you'll want to talk about your situation with an experienced Virginia divorce attorney and discuss any financial concerns you have. If the bad economy has forced you to delay your divorce plans, know that you're not the only one.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances, especially those regarding finances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.
The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Creating a Prenuptial Agreement in the Event of a Virginia Divorce

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Prenuptial agreements can cover a wide variety of things depending on the unique needs of the couple involved. The primary purpose of creating a prenuptial agreement is to protect the assets of the partners involved, so financial matters are almost always the main focus of these documents. However, some couples choose to add in things like division of household tasks and other logistical details of the relationship.

When creating a prenuptial agreement, you and your partner should take into consideration the issues that are important to you.

Prenuptial agreements can address:

division of property;
Virginia spousal support;
the financial responsibilities of both partners during the marriage; and
property distribution in the event of death (although you will also need wills/estate planning documents to back up decisions about such matters).

Prenuptial agreements typically cannot address:

Virginia child custody or visitation;
Virginia child support; and/or
any conditions that are unfair, unconscionable, or illegal (for example, an arrangement that has been secured through trickery, lies or manipulation).

It's important for each partner to have legal counsel from a Virginia family law attorney while creating the prenuptial agreement to ensure that it is fair and legal; otherwise it can end up being invalidated by a court in the event of a Virginia divorce.

This is just a basic overview of what you can and cannot add to a prenuptial agreement. Your Virginia family law attorney can guide you through the process of creating a prenuptial agreement that works for both you and your partner, or address your concerns if a prenuptial agreement is a factor in your Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Family Law Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Financial Stressors during the Recession Increase the Risk of Virginia Divorce

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 08:00:00 EST

Financial issues are a leading contributing factor to Virginia divorce, and can accumulate during times of economic instability, such as with the recent and continuing recession. In fact, many couples are at such a financial disadvantage because of the bad economy that they choose to delay filing for a Virginia divorce.

More than half of Americans have experienced financial stressors because of the bad economy, according to the National Marriage Project (NMP). Effects of this include:

worrying about paying the bills (reported by 34% of Americans);
struggling with mortgage payments or foreclosure (12% of Americans); and
reductions in income or unemployment (reported by 29% of Americans).

This piling financial stress can cause turmoil within a marriage, and greatly impacts a couple's overall happiness. The NMP reported that 29% of the people polled agreed that the recession added financial stress to their marriage.

In addition, the greater your financial stressors, the less likely you are to experience a very happy marriage:

No stressors - 43% of couples who didn't experience financial setbacks due to the poor economy report having a very happy marriage.
1 stressor - the happiness rating drops to 39% when couples experience 1 of the 3 major financial stressors.
2 or 3 stressors - only 27% of Americans with 2 or 3 major financial issues report to being in a very happy marriage.

Some marriages can withstand the financial turbulence that comes with a bad economy, while some divorces are merely delayed because of financial setbacks. If you're considering filing for a Virginia divorce, try talking to an experienced Virginia divorce attorney before making any decisions that may impact your future, and learn about how the economy has caused many women in your situation to postpone their divorce plans.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional and financial turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Dividing Your Husband's Thrift Savings Plan after Military Divorce in Virginia

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Thrift Savings Plan, or TSP, is the military's version of a 401 (k) program, which Congress extended to military members in 2001. If you're going through a military divorce in Virginia, you might be eligible to receive a portion of your husband's TSP balance.

The TSP is a retirement savings and investment plan that many military members use to supplement military retirement pay. To receive a transfer of funds from your husband's TSP account after your Virginia divorce, you'll need a court order that clearly awards you a portion of the TSP account.

In order to help develop a valid court order during your military divorce, the TSP Legal Processing Unit will provide you and your Virginia divorce attorney pertinent information, such as:

the member's TSP balance;
any existing loan balances; and
annual or quarterly TSP statements.

Starting over after the life-altering event of a military divorce can seem scary at times, especially when you're unsure of your financial future. It helps to know that you might be eligible to receive a portion of your husband's TSP balance, which will provide you with a welcomed financial buffer.

Your Virginia divorce attorney can help you navigate the military retirement pay system during your Virginia divorce to fight for a settlement that addresses your husband's TSP account, among other possible assets.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing a military divorce in Virginia, including those surrounding the military retirement pay system and TSP accounts. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Calculating Military Retirement Pay Benefits After a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

If your ex-husband qualifies for nondisability retirement pay, you'll likely be eligible to receive a portion of it following your military divorce in Virginia. The military uses various methods to determine the amount of retirement pay that members receive, which impacts the benefits that you're awarded in your settlement or court order after your military divorce in Virginia.

If you're ex-husband began service on or after Aug. 1, 1986, he may choose to use the military's REDUX system to calculate his military retirement pay. The REDUX system can be difficult to understand and your Virginia divorce attorney can thoroughly explain any confusing concepts.

The military calculates nondisability retirement pay under the REDUX system using a 3-step process:

Figure the REDUX multiplier - the first step involves calculating a REDUX multiplier. The first 20 years of service are each worth 2.5% toward the multiplier, reduced by 1% for each year of service under 30 years.
Multiply by base pay - the multiplier is then applied to the average of the highest 3 years of basic pay the service member received.
Add a service increase - for every year the member served after 20 years of service, a 3.5% increase is awarded.

For example, under the REDUX system, a member who served 25 years of credible service would have a multiplier of 57.5% (40% original multiplier plus 3.5% times 5 years of service above 20 years). The portion of that retirement pay that you are eligible for is contingent upon your specific separation agreement or court orders.

Obviously, the mathematical formulas that the military uses to calculate retirement pay can be extremely difficult to follow. Your Virginia divorce attorney can be a tremendously valuable asset, acting on your behalf and helping you navigate the military retirement pay system during your Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your military divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances, including those about the military retirement pay system. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

How Remarriage Affects Survivor Benefit Plan Coverage After a Virginia Divorce

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're still a beneficiary under your former husband's Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), you'll need to understand how your benefits may change in the event that you remarry. Some of the legalities involving a military divorce can be quite confusing, so it's best to ask an experienced Virginia divorce attorney to explain anything that is unclear.

If you remarry before you turn 55, you'll no longer be eligible to receive SBP benefits. If your remarriage occurs after you turn 55, your survivor benefits will not be terminated. This is an important bit of information if you're contemplating remarriage around this time of life.

It's wise to have one eye on the future, especially as you rebuild your new life. Knowing all your rights concerning the SBP after your Virginia divorce can help you make informed decisions. While the information may never be put to use, you should be aware that if your second marriage ends in divorce or death, you can have your SBP benefits reinstated.

You'll also want to keep in mind that as a former spouse of a military member, your rights to SBP benefits aren't automatic. You'll need to closely follow the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) protocol for the SBP, with which your Virginia divorce attorney can help.

Military divorce poses a unique set of circumstances that can feel taxing but it's important to stay focused on building a bright future. Stay informed of your rights regarding the SBP so you can avoid making uninformed decisions that might affect your survivor benefits and your finances.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia, especially a military divorce. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Effects of Social Security on the Survivor Benefit Plan After Virginia Divorce

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), a form of insurance for retired military members' designated beneficiaries, can be a part of your settlement during your military divorce in Virginia. Although divorce usually ends your SBP eligibility, you can still maintain SBP coverage if the courts award you that privilege during the division of military retirement benefits.

If you're still a beneficiary under the SBP, you'll want to learn all you can about how your payments might be affected, including whether or not receiving Social Security will reduce your survivor benefits.

In past years, if you were receiving SBP benefits, when you reached age 62, your survivor benefits would drop from 55% of your former husband's base pay to 35%. This would account for the Social Security benefits that you would receive.

Since Congress changed those laws in 2005, your SBP benefits will no longer be affected at the onset of your Social Security benefits. Currently, your survivor benefits will continue at 55% of your former husband's base pay, even after you turn 62.

You'll want to discuss any concerns you have about your military retirement pay or SBP benefits with a Virginia divorce attorney with experience in military divorce proceedings. The legislation that affects military divorce and benefits coverage is constantly changing.

It's important to understand how all those changes might affect your financial situation and to learn about your rights to the Survivor Benefit Plan after your Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your military divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances, including those about your rights to the SBP and Social Security. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Understanding How Military Regulations Affect Your Spousal Support in Virginia

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

In most cases, the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps require members to pay spousal support after a Virginia divorce, regardless of whether a court order or legal agreement exists. The military uses the naval support scale as a guide to figure the amount of support an ex-spouse should receive.

The percentage of the member's pay that the naval support scale allots toward support payments is dependent upon the number and relationship of the dependents. For example, in cases where there are no minor dependents, the military member is required to pay one-third of his gross pay for Virginia spousal support.

While the military requires members to pay support for their ex-spouses in most cases, the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps regulations do specify certain exemptions.

A military member may be exempt from paying spousal support if:

a court order indicates exemption;
the spouse voluntarily relinquishes rights to the support payments;
both spouses agree to the terms; and
a waiver to the Director of the Navy Family Allowance Activity has been submitted.

There are extenuating circumstances that the military regards as important in determining if the military member should be exempt from paying spousal support. Your Virginia divorce attorney can explain how the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps regulations affect your particular case.

Specific grounds for spousal support exemption include:

physical abuse;
infidelity; and
desertion without a cause.

Consider talking to a Virginia divorce attorney if you're contemplating divorce, especially if it's a military divorce with strictly imposed regulations. Your Virginia divorce attorney will help you understand all the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps regulations that may affect your Virginia spousal support, so you can seek the adequate and continuous support that you're entitled to.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Getting a Military Divorce in Virginia Without a Child Support Agreement

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

The U.S. Navy and Marine Corps put regulations and policies into action that make sure dependents of military members are given support in the event of military divorce. While the military prefers the establishment of court ordered child support, it does provide payment guidelines for military members to follow when there is no legal support agreement.

The military requires that service members pay continuous and adequate support for legal dependents, which not only supports the dependents' welfare but also upholds the credit and morale of the armed services.

If no spousal support is required after your military divorce, the Marine Corps and Navy regulations regarding child support obligations depend upon how many minor dependants there are:

One child - the member must pay one-sixth of his gross pay if there is one minor child.
Two children - in this case, one-fourth of the member's gross pay is allotted towards child support obligations.
Three children - if the member has 3 or more dependent children, he is required to pay one-third of his gross pay.

Gross pay includes basic pay, basic allowance for quarters (BAQ,) and variable house allowance (VHA.) Military regulations stipulate that child support must be paid, and failure to do so results in administrative and disciplinary action.

Fortunately, the military places a high priority on making sure its members uphold their responsibility to support their dependents following a military divorce. A Virginia divorce attorney with experience in military divorces can explain all the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps regulations that will affect your child support, an especially important consideration if you don't have a legal court order.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Your Right to Your Ex's Social Security Benefits After a Virginia Divorce

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

In many cases, you may still be eligible to receive your ex's Social Security retirement benefits even after a Virginia divorce. The Social Security Administration (SSA) imposes certain eligibility restrictions on Social Security benefits for divorced spouses, so make sure that you understand all the requirements before applying for your benefits. You could always talk about your situation with a Virginia Beach divorce attorney who can help clarify any legal details that you're uncertain about.

In general, unless you remarry before the age of 60, you can still receive your ex-husband's Social Security retirement benefits if:

he is legally entitled to receive Social Security benefits;
you're a minimum of 62 years old;
your marriage lasted at least 10 years; and
the amount you'd receive from your ex-husband's benefits would be greater than from your own earnings.

Fortunately, as long as your ex-husband is eligible to receive the benefits, you can still qualify for them even if your ex-husband hasn't applied to start receiving his Social Security retirement benefits. As long as you meet the above requirements and have been divorced for at least 2 years, you can still receive the benefits, regardless of whether your ex-husband is currently claiming them.

If you are eligible to receive Social Security retirement benefits from your own earnings records but your ex-husband's benefit payments would be greater than yours, you will receive a combination of benefits that equals the higher amount. In this situation, you could also choose to delay receiving the benefits and earn delayed retirement benefits after your Virginia divorce.

With so many rules and regulations to adhere to concerning Social Security retirement benefits, it's a wise idea to discuss your situation with a Virginia Beach divorce attorney who can make sure you're fully informed of how your Social Security benefits might be affected by your Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

How Remarriage After a Virginia Divorce Affects Your Social Security Benefits

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're receiving Social Security benefits from your ex-husband's earnings records, remarriage affects your eligibility for these benefits. Roughly 50% of women remarry after a divorce, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and you should be aware of how those changing dynamics can affect your Social Security benefits.

The Social Security Administration's rules regarding remarriage and benefit eligibility are similar to the rules for widows. Consider talking to a Virginia Beach divorce attorney to help fully understand how your benefits may be affected if you decide to remarry.

In general, if you remarry before the age of 60, you'll no longer be eligible to receive the benefits from your first husband's earning record. You can collect Social Security from your next husband's earnings records, provided that marriage has lasted at least 10 years.

If you remarry after the age of 60, you can still receive Social Security benefits payments on your first husband's record. If you're disabled, that age limit is reduced to 50 years old. Then, when you turn 62 years old, you can choose to collect benefits from your new husband's earnings record, if those earnings are higher than the benefits you receive from your first husband.

There are many important factors that affect Social Security benefit eligibility after your Virginia divorce. It's vital that you don't overlook or misinterpret the regulations and rules that affect your ability to receive those benefits.

Because government regulations can be tricky to fully understand, you'll want to talk to a Virginia Beach divorce attorney about how to make sure you receive the Social Security benefits to which you're entitled. Try to stay informed of your rights and learn all you can about the qualifications for receiving Social Security benefits after your Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Adhering to Your Virginia Child Custody Agreement

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Many families are able to create a Virginia child custody agreement, also referred to as a parenting plan, after their Virginia divorce that they are both comfortable with following.

In some families, life circumstances, or material changes, can develop that cause disputes between the parents over the custody agreement. In those cases, a Virginia child custody attorney can help articulate and demonstrate the material changes to the courts in your effort to gain the court's approval in changes to the custody agreement.

The process of changing a Virginia child custody arrangement can be quite difficult and complex. If at all possible, it's best to try to make your existing custody arrangement work, provided it still serves your child's best interests.

There are numerous tactics and methods you can use to try to make your new family dynamics easier on everyone involved. By making a concerted effort to be the best co-parent possible, you can better help your children adjust to life after your divorce.

When trying to adhere to your Virginia child custody agreement, you might try to:

encourage your children's relationship with your ex-husband;
be understanding of your ex-husband's visitation scheduling requests;
avoid undermining your ex-husband or expressing disrespect towards him, especially in front of the children;
keep a calendar to easily track the visitation schedule; and
exercise patience as you work together to make your children's best interests a top priority.

It's important to periodically reaffirm your parenting goals and reassess your parenting plan. If possible, try to adhere to your custody agreement and recognize that strong bonds are vital to your child's development. If material changes or substantial life changes occur that warrant changes in your original child custody arrangement, a Virginia child custody attorney can help you proceed with requests for custodial changes.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce and child custody in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Creating a Divorce Mission Statement for Your Virginia Divorce

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorce involves internal struggles and a flux of emotions that can leave you feeling frustrated and confused about your changing life dynamics. A divorce mission statement acts as a compass to help you navigate your Virginia divorce and have a direction for your life afterwards. It can also help you stay focused on healing and avoid unnecessary conflict.

A divorce mission statement is a well-thought idea that defines how you want your life to look when the Virginia divorce is complete. Its aim is to help you stay on track during your Virginia divorce, to help you focus on peace and resolution and to avoid arguments or bad behaviors that often happen during a divorce.

When defining your goals for your divorce mission statement, try to picture the best case scenario for your life after your divorce.

Your goals for your divorce may include:

remaining kind and honest;
doing your best to cooperate for the sake of your children;
dividing assets fairly;
staying committed to active, positive parenting;
taking care of yourself physically and emotionally; and
accepting responsibility for your emotions and avoiding blame.

After you've worked up your divorce mission statement, keep it tucked it a secure place and read it periodically to remind you of your goals. It'll also help uplift you during your times of struggle and help you envision a brighter future after your Virginia divorce.

If you're considering filing for a Virginia divorce, you'll want to make sure you take the appropriate steps before you make any decisions. Work on keeping your actions in alignment with your goals by creating a divorce mission statement and seeking the advice of an experienced Virginia divorce attorney, who can help you navigate the divorce process.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

A Child's Best Interest When Modifying a Virginia Child Custody Agreement

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

If substantial or material changes have occurred since your Virginia child custody agreement was completed, you or your spouse may attempt to seek a modification in your child custody arrangement.

You'll have to demonstrate to the courts that life circumstances have changed that affect your child's well-being. You'll also need to prove that the custodial changes you're seeking are in the best interests of your child. A Virginia child custody attorney can help you follow the proper procedures and understand the child custody laws that apply to your family's situation.

When the courts consider requests to modify a Virginia child custody arrangement, they try to determine the child's best interests by examining various factors that affect both the parents and the child.

Factors that help determine a child's best interest include:

the stability of the parents and the home environment;
the employment and financial status of the parents;
the child's relationship to the parents;
the parents' health and ability to meet the child's needs;
the age, gender and wishes of the child;
the age, character and mental health of the parents; and
the possible interference of custodial changes on a child's stability.

Because so many factors contribute to a child's well-being, the court must carefully weigh the circumstances on a case-by-case basis. It's important to have an experienced Virginia child custody attorney on your side when dealing with changes to your Virginia child custody agreement.

Protecting the welfare of your child is of prime importance and you may need help to clearly articulate your case. If you're facing changes to your child custody arrangement, make sure to understand the details of material changes in Virginia child custody agreements and how to protect the best interests of your child.

Contacting a Virginia Child Custody Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce and child custody in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

7 Things to Ask Yourself Before Filing for a Virginia Divorce

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Divorce is often the result of a mix of underlying causes that can be hard to pinpoint. If you're considering filing for a Virginia divorce, you're probably wondering whether it's the right choice and how you can know with certainty that filing for divorce is unavoidable.

Many things can lead to a divorce in Virginia, including:

poor communication;
financial difficulties;
extramarital affairs;
abuse or addiction; and
changes in life goals and priorities.

Whatever the causes for unhappiness in your marriage, you'll want to do some internal searching to confirm that divorce is the best choice for your situation before you file for a Virginia divorce.

Try taking an objective look at your situation and ask yourself some of these questions:

Bickering - are you arguing over every little thing? Do your spouse's behaviors that you used to overlook now constantly irritate you?
Communication - has honest, open communication ceased? Do you feel unable to talk without fighting?
Love - do you feel the love and hope is gone from the relationship? Do you still have fun and feel sexually attracted to each other?
Respect - do you respect each other or is criticism and belittling the norm?
Disagreements - do you and your spouse argue over the same issues repeatedly? Are you realizing that you've reached a wall and can't come to a compromise?
Values - do you and your spouse have different life goals and values? Have you grown in vastly different directions?
Abuse - is there abuse taking place? If abuse is an issue, seek help immediately to protect your well-being and that of your children.

Divorce is never an easy decision and you'll need the help of a divorce counselor, as well as a Virginia divorce attorney to be your advocates along the way. Before you speak with your husband about divorce, you'll want to learn about what you should do before you file for a Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney for Women

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Developing a Nurturing Parenting Plan After a Virginia Divorce

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Going through a divorce can cause such turmoil between spouses that parents often overlook the impact their conflict can have on their children. In addition to their basic physical needs, children have emotional and psychological needs that must be met in order to grow into happy, well-adjusted adults. Unfortunately, many of their needs go unmet when parents allow their differences to get in the way of their parenting.

Once your Virginia divorce is finalized, parental differences may not be as detrimental, as you and your ex are not living together on a daily basis. As a result, you may find certain aspects of parenting have become easier. To help maximize the positive effects of divorce on your parenting, you may find it will help to develop a parenting plan.

In addition to a solid Virginia child custody agreement that your Virginia Beach family law attorney has helped you devise, try putting some basic parenting guidelines together that you and your ex can agree upon (if you're on amiable terms).

Some basic rules you might want to incorporate into your parenting plan include a commitment to:

respect each other at all times;
put the children's needs first;
respect the visitation schedule and the other parent's privacy;
steer clear of interfering with the other spouse's parenting methods; and
agree to discuss conflict away from the children.

By putting your differences aside long enough to create a healthy co-parenting situation, you may find unexpected positive effects of Virginia divorce on your parenting to help make the transition easier.

Contacting a Family Law Attorney in Virginia Beach

Our Virginia Beach family law attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Fostering Your Children's Constructive Skills after Virginia Divorce

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Going through a Virginia divorce is difficult in itself, and when children are involved, it can exasperate and complicate matters. Although much research exists highlighting the detriments of divorce on children, there are also positive effects that it can have on children. This goes hand in hand with the unexpected positive effect divorce can have on parenting.

When your children and you have the opportunity to escape from a stressful home situation and recurring arguments, you may find your children's transition easier than expected. Through unexpected benefits of a Virginia divorce on your parenting skills, you may be able to help your children foster constructive skills as they cope with a new home situation.

During this time, children of divorced parents have the opportunity to build:

organizational skills (tracking school work and activities);
time management skills (scheduling, working independently);
relationship skills (compassion, adaptability); and
communication skills (open and authentic communication).

While going through your Virginia divorce, you'll naturally be concerned about how your children will adjust to and handle the situation. Being an active parent and making the emotional needs of your children a priority helps foster strong relationships and creates a positive environment in which they can build productive life skills.

You may find that after divorce it's surprisingly easier to do this and have a closer relationship with your children, which can also benefit everyone in the family.

Parenting after divorce presents an entirely new set of dynamics that requires patience, understanding, and support. Try concentrating on the positive effect of Virginia divorce on your parenting to help make the transition easier.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Family Law Attorney

Our Virginia Beach family law attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Guidelines for Unallocated Support in Virginia

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Family support payments-sometimes referred to in other states as unallocated alimony-are support payments designed to benefit both the recipient spouse and the children in a Virginia divorce. Unlike child support or conventional spousal support the support payments labeled as unallocated support are not divided into separate portions for child support and spousal support.

Taxes are one of the biggest concerns when it comes to deciding how to assign support payments, and they can get tricky after a Virginia divorce. Family support payments also must meet certain guidelines, and it's important to understand the protocol so that you get the financial support you need.

In order for support payments to qualify as unallocated support, they must be:

made in the form of cash;
received by or on behalf of the recipient spouse; and
included as part of a divorce or separation agreement.

The law places strict specifications on family support payments, and it can be difficult deciding what would best suit you and your children. The kind of support payments that will work for you depend upon the specifics of your financial situation after your Virginia divorce. Make sure to discuss your circumstances with an experienced Newport News divorce attorney so you can be informed of all your options.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

Getting the support you need after your Virginia divorce is an important step in moving on with your life. Our Newport News divorce attorney team cares about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Understanding the Tax Implications of Unallocated Support

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:00:00 EST

Unallocated support-also referred to as family support or unallocated alimony in other states-offers families an additional option for allocating support payments following a Virginia divorce. Many couples that elect to settle on unallocated support payments instead of separate child support do so because of specific financial conditions, such as the taxable income of both spouses.

Traditional support payments are taxable for the recipient spouse, and child support is not. When you receive support payments with portions specifically allocated towards child support and spousal support, you are only responsible for paying taxes on the spousal support, not the child support portion.

Family support payments, on the other hand, are fully taxable for the recipient. In most cases, the spouse that receives the support is in a lower tax bracket than the paying spouse, and therefore, there may be an economic benefit for the family as a whole. A Newport News divorce attorney whose practice is dedicated to helping women can help you understand all the specifics before you decide on the route that would be best for you and your children.

In most scenarios, family support generally benefits the payer, so make sure you fully understand all the tax consequences of your actions before making any decisions. Try to avoid unwittingly accepting unallocated support offers that might have negative tax implications for you. You'll want to first discuss your situation with your tax specialist, as well as your Newport News divorce attorney in order to learn about the impact of family support and unallocated alimony.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

With all the issues you have to tend to during your Virginia divorce, it's important to not overlook financial matters that may later affect you. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

How Child Support Addresses Financial Concerns after a Military Divorce

Sun, 30 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Military divorces usually transpire after a long road filled with struggle, added stresses, and painful emotions. It is estimated that 70% of military personnel have children and the military has a divorce rate of more than 3%, according to the Department of Defense.

When those unique stressors that military families endure lead to divorce, the financial ramifications can be far-reaching, especially if you've left the workforce after multiple PCS moves.

The effects of divorce on children can be long-lasting, and having a parent in the military that is regularly absent can compound the situation. Not only will you want to make sure to receive the child support from your husband's military pay to financially support your children, but you should also make efforts to offer additional emotional support for them.

After a military divorce, it can be hard to address those emotional worries when you're worrying about paying bills and getting groceries. Luckily, the military provides a way to help you meet your financial obligations.

If you've been awarded child support, you can take steps to get your payments taken directly from your husband's military pay. This helps alleviate a monthly battle for a check when you've got so many other things on your plate.

A Virginia family law attorney can explain what's required of you and help you can fight for the child support payments you need to begin settling into your new life with your children.

Contacting a Virginia Family Law Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Understanding Military Pay Garnishment for Child Support in Virginia

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

The best way to receive child support from your husband after a military divorce is for him to voluntary assign it to you. However, many couples struggle with working agreeably after their divorce. Sometimes it may be necessary to obtain an order for legal garnishment of military pay for child support in Virginia.

It's a comfort to know that federal law authorizes garnishment, or legal withholding, of wages for members of the military. You are legally entitled to receive your child support payments, even if your husband is deployed.

One caveat, though, is the military rules and stipulations that you'll need to follow in order to begin garnishing your husband's military pay to receive your child support payments. It's of prime importance to fully understand all the regulations you're required to follow. A Virginia family law attorney who is experienced with military divorce can help you with this subject.

The Defense Finance Accounting Service (DFAS) is the organization that handles the requests for garnishment of wages for child support.

When you're trying to obtain child support from your husband's military pay, some of the information you're required to give the DFAS includes:

a legal child support order;
the name, Social Security number, and date of birth of the military member; and
the current military status and assignment.

Military divorce poses additional regulations on obtaining child support of which you may not be aware. Avoid signing any paperwork without having a Virginia family law attorney that specializes in helping women through a military divorce counsel you on your rights.

You'll want assistance in weeding through all the military paperwork and federal child support laws. You should also understand how to get your child support payments and learn about how child support can be withheld from your husband's military pay.

Contacting a Virginia Child Support Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia, especially when dealing with military divorce and military child support regulations. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Actions that Can Cause You to Lose Your Non-Marital Property

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

In a Virginia divorce, both your marital and non-marital assets are taken into consideration when the courts decide how to reasonably distribute debts and assets. Non-marital property, also referred to as separate property, includes assets that are not a part of community property and are not divided between you and your husband.

Separate property that can be excluded from the marital estate can include:

assets acquired before marriage;
assets protected by a prenuptial agreement;
certain proceeds acquired from personal injury agreements;
inheritance; and
gifts given to you personally.

It's important to be aware that although separate property is generally not regarded when the courts divide marital property during a Virginia divorce, certain activities can give marital value to it.

Various instances can occur that make your personal property lose its non-marital value and become susceptible to equitable distribution:

Co-mingling - mixing your separate assets with marital assets can add them to the marital property lot, such as depositing some of your inheritance money in a joint banking account.
Improving non-marital assets - using marital money to improve non-marital assets can turn the assets into marital property, which would then be subject to equitable distribution.
Active appreciation - acting in a way that adds value to an non-marital asset, such as improving real estate, can give marital value to the asset.
Protecting your personal property is vital when going through a Virginia divorce. You may not be quite sure of the difference between your separate property and marital property, and can inadvertently waive your rights to items that should rightfully remain in your possession. A Newport News divorce attorney can help you become aware of your rights, and help you take steps to protect your personal property when going through a Virginia divorce.
Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.
The Newport News divorce attorney team at Hofheimer/Ferrebee is committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Dividing Personal Property during a Virginia Divorce

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you are fortunate enough to be able to work amicably with your spouse towards a fair and reasonable Virginia divorce settlement, the best way to divide your belongings is to work together with the help of your respective attorneys and agree upon how to allocate your personal property.

However, many couples cannot reach an agreement on their own and the courts must decide what is fair. In this case, it's beneficial to have a Newport News divorce attorney to help bring to light factors that the court may deem important in assigning you a fair share of the marital property.

The state of Virginia handles property division by way of equitable distribution, and the judge will decide what constitutes a fair division with your marital property. This means that things may not be split straight down the middle, but rather awarded in a way that the judge deems equitable, or reasonable.

When the courts decide how to divide personal property during a Virginia divorce, they consider various factors, such as:

how much separate property each spouse has;
duration of marriage;
earning potential;
contributions made toward acquiring and maintaining the property;
homemaking services;
economic fault (wasting money during marriage, such as in gambling);
age and state of health; and
tax consequences.

Avoid rushing into any agreement and unintentionally waiving your rights to property that you may be entitled to. A Newport News divorce attorney that's experienced in helping women obtain fair settlements can help you protect your personal property in your divorce.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia, including the ins and outs of property division. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Domestic Violence and Military Divorce in Virginia

Sun, 23 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Domestic violence can happen in any family but military families are particularly susceptible. Military life can put a great deal of stress on a couple and this can sometimes lead to verbal and/or physical abuse.

The military provides ways for domestic violence victims to seek help and justice. The Family Advocacy program responds to the needs of families that have been affected by violence. They provide assessments, counseling and other services that help prevent further violence.

The military justice system evaluates cases of domestic abuse and decides on appropriate discipline for abusers. In addition, the military justice system may order the abuser to move out of his home and may issue an order of protection that prevents him from contacting his victims.

Despite the military system's efforts to prevent and remedy domestic violence, a victim might decide that she's no longer safe in her marriage and may feel that the trust between her and her spouse has been destroyed.

If you're seeking a military divorce because of domestic violence, you should contact an experienced Virginia divorce attorney. The fact that domestic violence is part of your military divorce may affect certain aspects of your case and it's wise to have someone in your corner who knows your rights.

The military has a unique way of dealing with domestic violence issues. It also has specific laws pertaining to divorce. Hiring a Virginia divorce attorney and learning about the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act (USFSPA) will help you go into your divorce prepared.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Collecting Child Support From Your Ex After Military Divorce

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Although a Virginia military divorce may have slightly different rules and regulations than a civilian divorce, the post-divorce years present most of the same concerns and challenges, including difficulties collecting child support from an ex-spouse.

If a court has ordered your ex-husband to pay Virginia child support and he is defaulting on his payments, you should take action right away.

Your first step should be to locate your ex-husband, if you haven't done so already. While a military service member may be stationed far away, he usually won't be hard to find. His name will be listed in a database of military personnel around the world.

The military does not look kindly on service members who intentionally abandon their family responsibilities. If you are able, you can contact your ex-husband's command and let him or her know the situation. You can try his immediate superior first and then continue up the chain of command if that officer won't respond or won't help.

You can use Virginia's child support collection agency to help you pursue your ex-husband for child support. They will help you fill out paperwork, locate your ex and make sure he receives the documents alerting him that he is behind in his payments. Your ex-husband may end up having his wages garnished if he doesn't comply with his Virginia child support order.

Military divorces are carried out according to state guidelines, as well as the guidelines in The Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act (USFSPA). Your Virginia divorce attorney will explain these laws to you and guide you through all legal aspects of your military divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

How The SCRA Affects Military Divorce Cases

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

The Service Members Civil Relief Act (SCRA) is a law protecting military service personnel from civil actions. While the SCRA doesn't make a military member immune to lawsuits, it can delay civil court cases for certain periods of time.

This act was created for servicepersons who are far from home and/or on a mission and genuinely unable to appear in court but some defendants and their attorneys may attempt to use it as a way to avoid addressing a lawsuit in a timely fashion

In a Virginia divorce case, the SCRA can stay the proceedings until the military member is available to appear. While this may sound like it would create a very inconvenient situation for the military member's soon-to-be-ex, the delay can't go on forever.

Delaying a Virginia divorce case for an extended period of time would not be fair to the military member's spouse and children, because the financial support orders involved in a divorce may be essential to meet their daily needs.

Under the SCRA, in order for the stay to be accepted, the military member has to show proof that his military orders prevent him from participating in the case AND he has to provide a date when he will be able to appear.

If it seems that the military member is using the SCRA to avoid divorce court, the serviceperson's spouse, with the help of her Virginia divorce attorney, can oppose a request for a stay on the grounds that it wasn't made in good faith.

The SCRA is one of many laws and guidelines that govern military divorce. These laws determine matters such as your right to military retirement pay, as well as other important issues. Your Virginia divorce attorney can help you sort through these laws and regulations and work toward fair treatment during your military divorce.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Transitioning From Military Life After Virginia Divorce

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're a woman facing a Virginia military divorce, it's a good idea to be prepared. First, seek the counsel of an experienced Virginia divorce attorney to represent your best interests in court.

Next, you'll want to prepare for the way your life will change after your marriage is legally dissolved. It probably took time to adjust to the unique lifestyle of a military spouse. Now that it's over, you will have to re-adjust to life in the civilian world.

Doing this may not be an easy process. While the military can be a challenging environment for couples, it also provides some excellent material and emotional benefits.

Being part of a military couple put you in a special group of people who all understood the military way of life, challenges and lingo. Now that your Virginia military divorce is final, you are technically no longer part of that world.

While you might retain some of your military friendships, you will probably find it rewarding to meet new non-military friends to help ease your way back into life off the base.

After your Virginia military divorce is finalized, you'll likely want to seek new housing arrangements. You will also need to find ways to provide for other necessities that the military will no longer cover. Many former military spouses choose to move in with family members to make this transition easier on them and their children.

As you begin your divorce, you'll want to become familiar with all your rights, for example, your rights to military retirement pay. Your Virginia divorce attorney can guide you through this and all aspects of your case.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Picking Your Battles When Co-Parenting After Your Virginia Divorce

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

The period following your Virginia divorce is filled with adjustments for you, your ex-husband, and your children.

If you were the primary caregiver for your children during your marriage, the Virginia child custody and visitation arrangements that come with divorce may create some anxiety for you.

Your children will likely be spending at least some time with your ex at his home and during that time will be under his supervision and discipline. You may feel that your ex doesn't know as well as you do about caring for and disciplining your children.

While this may be true in some cases, you should choose your battles wisely if you want to successfully co-parent after a Virginia divorce. Many attempts at co-parenting after divorce have been ruined by disagreements over relatively minor issues being blown out of proportion.

Of course, you should step in immediately if there's something going on that endangers your children's safety and well-being, but when it comes to reasonable differences in parenting style or discipline, it might be best to hold off on the attack.

If you find it necessary to draw attention to a minor issue, try to do so in a way that is civil and constructive. Your ex may genuinely be struggling to adapt to his new parenting schedule and responsibilities.

Now that you and your ex have separate living quarters, you are each entitled to your own house rules and discipline styles pertaining to minor issues. Your children should be aware of these things and understand that what is acceptable at one parent's home is not necessarily acceptable at the other's home.

Post-divorce co-parenting can present a number of challenges for any woman as she adjusts to her new family landscape. By having a Virginia divorce attorney on your side early on the in process, you can focus on developing new approaches to parenting, as your attorney focuses on handling the legal aspects of your case.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Presenting a United Parenting Front After a Virginia Divorce

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Many ex-spouses hit some bumps in the road when it comes to co-parenting after a Virginia divorce. It's likely you both feel strongly about what's best for your children, and this can cause you to butt heads over the details of childrearing.

While you and your ex-husband are free to pursue your own separate lives and interests now that you're divorced-and by all means, you want to be focusing on building your new life, separate from him-you still share the role of parent with your ex. As a devoted parent, you know that your child's needs supersede all other aspects of your family dynamic.

When it comes to discipline, you and your ex should present a united front whenever possible. A Virginia divorce is a chaotic event for your children just as much as it is for you, perhaps even more so.

You and your ex-husband should work out a solid plan for co-parenting after a Virginia divorce. Set reasonable boundaries and agree whenever possible on the important issues. This will give your children a feeling of safety and security during an otherwise difficult time of adjustment.

If this task is difficult to do because you and your ex have a contentious relationship, consider seeking the help of a neutral third party professional who has experience specifically helping parents after divorce.

It will also help guard against your children playing you and your ex against each other. Children of divorce often do this, sometimes without fully realizing it.

While co-parenting after Virginia divorce may not be easy, you and your ex will find that putting your differences aside and presenting a united front to your children will benefit them in the long run.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Shaping Your Children's Feelings About Money

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Many couples who seek a Virginia divorce do so because of disagreements over money, particularly financial infidelity. Financial infidelity can be as heartbreaking as sexual infidelity, and it can affect your entire family, especially your children.

Financial infidelity often leads to issues of deep distrust in a relationship. If your children don't learn to talk about money in a healthy and productive way, they may face similar challenges in their adult relationships as you did in your marriage.

Children are very perceptive. It's likely they've heard disagreements about money between you and your spouse before and during your Virginia divorce. Even if you kept your arguments private, they may have simply picked up the tense atmosphere surrounding financial matters.

After your Virginia divorce, you have the opportunity to build a new life. You're not destined to hand down the legacy of financial infidelity to your kids. If you set your mind to it, you can create a positive environment for your children to learn about money matters.

Books that address teaching children about money may be very valuable to you during this time. In addition, if you're seeing a family counselor, you may want to discuss your goals with him or her.

Financial infidelity usually stems from lack of communication. It's important that you encourage your children in open dialogue about finances.

Do what you can to remedy any unhealthy emotional reactions you might have regarding the topic of money, so your children can feel safe to speak about it openly with you.

For more about financial infidelity and Virginia divorce, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Potential Legal Dangers of Spying on Your Spouse During a Virginia Divorce

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

January 11, 2011 - A recent story from Michigan that is making the rounds on various news sites has shown us that if you're thinking of doing some detective work to gather information about your spouse during your Virginia divorce, you should consider the possible consequences.

According to a story on CBSNews.com, Michigan resident Leon Walker signed into his wife Clara's email account and found evidence of the affair he'd been suspecting. He also found himself in a world of legal trouble after he was charged with "felony computer misuse" for reading his ex-wife's email and sharing some of the information he found therein.

Computer misuse charges are usually related to identity theft or business and trade hacking, so it's unclear how far these charges will go in this case, considering it involves the tricky issue of privacy between spouses, according to a piece on HuffingtonPost.com.

Regardless of how things turn out for Mr. Walker, anyone who is considering divorce should rethink their methods of gathering personal information about a spouse.

As technology enables more and more people to access sensitive information about others, the law has no choice but to step up privacy protection measures.

In order to avoid any allegations or charges of computer misuse, stalking, or another crime that could be detrimental to your Virginia divorce case, talk to your divorce attorney about safe, effective and legally sound ways to gather necessary information that is needed for your case.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Divorcees May Benefit From Financial Counseling Services

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

January 10, 2011 - Nicole Murphy, ex-wife of actor Eddie Murphy, has been facing some financial struggles recently. The 42-year-old mother of 5 is reportedly overwhelmed by her debt.

It's quite common for a woman to face monetary woes following divorce; what makes this story unusual is that Ms. Murphy received a lump-sum $15 million divorce settlement only 4 years ago.

Friends say that her troubles are the result of bad investments she made with her settlement money. She now owes $5 million on her home, over $200,000 to the IRS, and hundreds of thousands to attorneys.

It's inconceivable to most of us how anyone could go through such a large sum of money so quickly, but there's a lesson in this story for any woman seeking a Virginia divorce: It might be wise to seek the services of a financial counselor to help you manage your Virginia divorce settlement or spousal support.

Divorce brings financial changes to a woman's life that she simply might not be ready for. This is especially true if your husband was the money-manager in the family, and you're adjusting to your new financial independence.

After your Virginia divorce, you may be faced with both challenges and opportunities you may not have had before. You might feel ready to take steps in life that require financial investments, or you may simply want to learn how to live more frugally.

There's a lot to be taken into consideration when managing a divorce settlement or spousal support, and sometimes it takes the expertise of a financial counselor to help make the best of what you have.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Avoiding Financial Infidelity In Future Relationships

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

If your marriage ended because of financial infidelity, it's not a pattern that has to repeat itself. Should you choose to marry or enter a serious relationship again in the future, there are steps you can take to avoid this pitfall.

Knowing what you know now, you can be prepared and set ground rules for managing and sharing money with your partner. When this is agreed on early in the relationship, it takes a lot of the guesswork out of spending, and leaves fewer doors open for financial infidelity.

Even if it was your husband who engaged in financial infidelity in your failed marriage, you should be aware of any propensity for financial infidelity that you may also have.

Your experience with a financially unfaithful partner may cause you to develop trust issues and, ironically, make you more apt to be secretive about money.

As with anything in a relationship, communication is key. Learning to communicate about money is difficult for many people, and it can take a lot of patience and practice before you are comfortable with it. It might benefit you and your new partner to see a financial counselor or a relationship counselor to help you sort through these issues.

With the proper planning and guidance, you can overcome the effects of financial infidelity and move on to a fulfilling future relationship.

If you're currently coping with financial infidelity, you can learn more about this issue by visiting our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Avoiding Credit Repair Scams During Virginia Divorce

Sun, 09 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you're attempting to repair your credit during or after your Virginia divorce, you're doing the right thing. Understand, however, that you have a big job ahead of you with a few pitfalls of which you should be aware.

As the number of Americans in debt has risen over the past few years, the number of credit repair /credit counseling entities has risen as well. Unfortunately, not all of these organizations are on the up-and-up.

When you're going through a Virginia divorce and are in debt, you are likely under emotional stress and more susceptible to being manipulated by unscrupulous companies. It's important to keep your eyes open for clues that a credit repair organization might be a scam.

First off, are they asking for money when they haven't even discussed the details of what they offer? Credit repair help is available for little or no cost from legitimate organizations.

Beware of credit repair programs that don't advise you about steps you can take on your own to help repair your credit during Virginia divorce. These organizations want you to feel dependent on them so they can scam you.

A credit counselor requires certification like any other counseling work. Be wary of people who call themselves counselors when they have no training or credentials.

If a credit repair organization suggests that you engage in any illegal activity, like establishing credit using a false name or Social Security number, walk away and report the group to the proper authorities. Acting fraudulently will harm your Virginia divorce case and can get you in trouble with the law.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Coping with Financial Concerns through Divorce Insurance

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Whenever people think about safeguarding against potential financial downfall in the event of a Virginia divorce, the first thing that probably comes to mind is a prenuptial agreement. While this is still practiced today, new products and options are becoming available to divorcees all the time. This is because while no 2 individuals are the same, neither is a resulting divorce.

Everyone has different needs and concerns and new products and services are springing up all the time to address those worries. One such non-traditional approach to coping with the financial implications of divorce is the notion of divorce insurance.

A divorce can be trying in more ways than one, finances included, and divorce insurance seeks to offset those losses.

Here's how it works:

you buy divorce insurance, up to 200 units (equals up to $250,000 in coverage);
you pay a monthly rate for your insurance;
after a 4-year waiting period, your policy will increase in value by $250 per unit; and
once you are served with stamped divorce papers, you may submit your divorce claim.

While divorce insurance may be a viable option for some individuals concerned that a divorce is near, it doesn't always work for everyone, especially if you left the workforce for the duration of the marriage, and don't have income of your own. In addition, divorce insurance is really only beneficial if you purchase it well in advance of any possible divorce.

To figure out the non-traditional approaches to coping with Virginia divorce that may work for you, you'll want to discuss your situation with a Newport News divorce lawyer.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Lawyer

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Newport News divorce lawyers at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Deciding To Seek a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

The decision of whether to divorce your spouse is always going to be an emotional one. Even if marital breakdown has occurred to the point where you don't have any romantic feelings left for your husband, it can still be difficult.

The 2 of you have built a life together and you both will face some major changes if you decide to end the marriage. Still, it's important to be as logical about your options as possible when deciding on Virginia divorce.

Each relationship is unique and partners react differently to challenges and obstacles. You also have to take the trust factor into consideration.

For example, if a particular event has made you consider divorce, do you think you'll be able to recover from it? Also, was the event a one-time occurrence or will it likely repeat itself?

You should look at the overall health of your relationship, your ability and willingness to communicate and whether attempts to keep the marriage together are a one-sided or a 2-person effort.

When deciding on Virginia divorce, you should have a plan for your post-divorce life. You should think of how you will manage financially and how you will help your children handle the effects of your breakup.

Sometimes, the decision to divorce is based on extreme circumstances like domestic abuse. In these cases, the risks of your relationship outweigh its benefits and make deciding on divorce fairly simple, through it's definitely not always emotionally easy. There is no foolproof way to approach divorce but should you feel that it is the only option for you, you should seek the advice of a Virginia divorce attorney.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Communicating With Creditors During a Virginia Divorce

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

During and after your Virginia divorce, you may have to deal with your credit issues. While doing so might not be easy or fun, it is something that needs to happen if you want to save your credit score and make a fresh start as a single person.

Communicating with creditors can be one of the most difficult aspects of addressing credit problems. If you have had uncomfortable experiences dealing with bill collectors, you are probably reluctant to have a conversation with anyone to whom you owe money.

The following are some useful things to remember when communicating with creditors during your Virginia divorce:

Timing matters. The best time to speak with your creditors is as soon as you think or know you won't be able to pay your bill. Be up front and honest and let them know when and how much you will be able to pay.
Be prepared. Know how much you owe and how far in debt you are. It helps to have your documentation in front of you before you get started.
Stay calm. You're already under stress during a Virginia divorce, and communicating with creditors can make you feel even more frazzled. It's important, however, to keep a cool head, even if the agent you're speaking with isn't the most friendly.
Consider all your options. Despite what you might think, you can sometimes negotiate with creditors. In some cases, creditors might opt to waive late charges or accept minimum payments. When you show that you are willing to face your responsibilities, you are more likely to get treated with understanding and respect.

To learn more about Virginia divorce and your credit score, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Children with Divorced Parents Twice as Likely to Experience Stroke

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

January 3, 2011 - A recent study out of the University of Toronto indicates that children of divorce might have a higher risk of stroke. The study, referenced by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services looked at a group of older Canadians who grew up in the 1940s and 50s. Participants whose parents got divorced were found more than twice as likely to suffer a stroke than those whose parents stayed together.

This is scary news for a parent facing Virginia divorce, but you shouldn't assume your divorce will cause health problems for your child.

The clinical study was conducted using older participants whose parents split up at a time when divorce was a social taboo. The stress of a divorce would have been compounded by the social stigma and lack of family and community support.

It's unknown whether the participants who had a higher risk of stroke were raised in homes where abuse, alcoholism or other harmful behaviors took place. These domestic conditions often were among the few acceptable reasons for divorce at the time, and growing up in a violent environment causes ongoing stress that can lead to health problems.

Poverty is also a risk factor for stroke and other health problems. Children of divorce, especially in past generations, were at higher risk of growing up in financial straits.

Children of divorce can suffer emotional stress that may eventually lead to health problems if gone unchecked. Fortunately, people divorcing today have access to good legal representation, community resources, and social support to help their children grow up healthy and well-adjusted.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Finding Ways to Laugh and Let Go Despite your Divorce

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

It used to be that the mere mention of a divorce in Virginia might have raised eyebrows. As divorce becomes increasingly common, social acceptance of the phenomenon has definitely broadened. As divorce has just become another part of life, the services available to you are more varied now than they have ever been. Now, the opportunity for non-traditional approaches to coping with your Virginia divorce is greater than ever before.

While this doesn't downplay the difficult process any woman will have to endure, it may help you have a moment of lightheartedness when you need it most.

Take for example, some of the following non-traditional approaches to Virginia divorce that may help you throughout the process:

greeting cards;
getaway packages; and
full service "divorce party packages," (including cakes and transportation).

While some of this may sound a bit over-the-top, the industry that caters to new divorcees actually may help you have a laugh during what may be an otherwise very painful time. In some cases, such products may take to the extreme, such as cakes with the groom's feet sticking out of the bottom to allude to the Wizard of Oz, or toilet paper with the word "Ex" printed on it.

At the trend's core is evidence that you are not alone in your experience. As you go through your Virginia divorce, don't be afraid to enjoy an evening out with friends or share a long laugh with a gal pal. As divorce has become more common, there are more non-traditional social supports out there for you than ever before and laughter is all a part of that process.

As you focus on healing, remember that your best interests and that of your children will be best represented if you let a Newport News divorce lawyer focus on the details of your Virginia divorce.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Lawyer

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Newport News divorce lawyers at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Why Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) is important to women during a divorce?

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

If you believe your attitude determines your altitude and you could use some positive juice to brighten your day, then turn to Cox Communication"s channel 58 and let Oprah help you OWN your future. The newest Oprah undertaking is uplifting, inspiring and can be transformative. It is about making your dreams come true. Most importantly, Oprah is trying to help each of us start living OUR BEST LIFE.

There is a saying, "You are chosen if you choose". Oprah through her interesting programming is trying to help us define our own truth and then live it. She wants us to choose to be chosen.

When you are comtemplating or acting on divorce, you have many doubts and uncertainies challenging your truth. By being around positive information and affirmative people, like Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, you are much better able to continue to assert your truth.

No, Oprah is not the silver bullet to solve your problems, but she does provide uplifting information and reaffirmation that the problems challenging you today will eventually pass. So, let's start living our OWN best life.

Telling Your Husband You Want a Divorce in Virginia

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're having marital problems and feel that a Virginia divorce is your only option, you need to prepare to tell your husband you want a divorce.

When a relationship is on the rocks, both partners may know that the end has come but neither may want to be the one to say so first. It takes courage to be the person to initiate a Virginia divorce.

The first step to take when telling your husband you want a divorce is to choose the right setting. Pick a time and place where you can have privacy.

Remain calm and state the facts the best way you can. If you and your spouse made a habit of threatening divorce in the heat of disagreements, you'll want to show him that this time you've thought it over and aren't speaking in the heat of the moment.

Understand that your husband may react strongly. He may become upset and argue with you or storm out. On the other hand, he might act contrite and ask for another chance.

If it's the latter, you need to remain logical and decide whether his promises of reform will come to fruition and whether you truly want to try to salvage your marriage.

If you have ever been the victim of any type of abuse in your marriage, you should reconsider telling your husband you want a divorce face to face. Doing so may put you at risk for further violence. In these situations, it's best to get yourself to a safe location and let the Virginia divorce papers do the talking for you. Your Virginia divorce attorney may be able to suggest strategies that protect your rights and your safety.

Divorce in Virginia can happen for any number of reasons. Regardless of why your marriage is coming to an end, an attorney can work with you to establish a plan to address your most pressing post-divorce issues, such as financial independence and Virginia child custody.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Why Accomac Women Should be meeting with Virginia Beach Divorce Lawyers

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

Considering divorce in Accomac or the surrounding Eastern Shore communities, you may want to look to Virginia Beach to find your attorney. With the retirement of Circuit Court Judge Glen Tyler, The judges from Virginia Beach will be sitting in Accomac to hear divorce cases. Having Lawyers familiar with the judicial approach of the various Virginia Beach judges doesn't guarantee a result but it is helpful in analyzing your case or presenting your evidence, in the event your case does not settle. Because legal fees in Virginia Beach tend to be higher than comparable lawyer fees on the Easter Shore, you might want to ask your Virginia Beach Attorney to:
         1. discount their hourly fee to the comparable eastern shore attorney's hourly fee.
         2. Reduce travel time fees to $ 25 an hour--after all it is a nice trip over the Bridge Tunnel
         3. Offer to take your attorney to one of the great little seafood restaurants after court as a thank you for reducing fees
         4. Consider filing your case in Va. Beach as it will be heard much sooner if you and your husband can agree on
              venue (where the case is heard)
There are a number of excellent Virginia Beach Divorce and Custody Attorneys----Just Google "Virginia Beach Divorce Attorneys or Lawyers"

Counseling for Children after a Virginia Divorce

Mon, 03 Jan 2011 08:00:00 EST

When you're parenting after a Virginia divorce, you may decide to facilitate your child's emotional healing on your own, by providing him or her with a comforting routine, verbal reassurance, and opportunities to express feelings.

It's important, however, to keep the option of professional counseling open. There are things to consider when contemplating professional counseling for your child after Virginia divorce:
How are you coping? Parenting after Virginia divorce can be stressful, and there's no shame in having a normal human reaction to the grief and upheaval divorce can bring. You may not feel able to fully address your child's pain while you're still reeling from your own.
How is your child relating to you? Sometimes, kids direct their anger about the divorce toward their parent. Or, they may feel the need to hide their pain from you in order to not worry you. Both these scenarios can cause them to pull away and avoid communication. They might be more willing to open up to a neutral party like a professional counselor.
Should your child show any signs of serious emotional distress, such as persistent stress-related health complaints, school difficulties, lethargy, or self-harm, you should pursue professional counseling as soon as possible. Your child's pediatrician can refer you to a qualified counselor in your area.

To learn more about parenting after divorce, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Telltale Signs Your Spouse Is Hiding Assets

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Any experienced Newport News divorce attorney will tell you that suspicion is a large part of many Virginia divorces.

When a marriage is falling apart, it's not unusual for the partners to suspect each other of all kinds of underhanded activities. Sometimes, these suspicions are merely expressions of the parties' mutual disillusionment with one another and aren't based on anything factual. In other cases, however, there is basis for the mistrust.

Hiding assets is something some spouses engage in when they foresee the end of their marriage. There are many reasons why a spouse might be hiding assets and many ways for him or her to accomplish this type of deception.

While it might be difficult to know whether or not your husband is hiding assets, there are some things that could possibly tip you off.

Is your husband secretive with the mail, or does he have a post office box only he has access to? This is one sign that he may be hiding assets. Unusual ATM withdrawals can be a clue. He may accidentally leave receipts from these in places you can find them.

Taking a look at all bank accounts and stock holdings can also give you a wealth of information. If money or stocks are suddenly missing or "moved", you should investigate further.

If you notice these signs of hidden assets during your Virginia divorce, you should discuss your concerns with your Newport News divorce attorney. Your attorney can find out a great deal of information much more quickly and effectively than you can on your own, in most cases.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Newport News divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Connection Between Managing Household Money and Hiding Assets

Sun, 26 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

During a Virginia divorce, you may run into some financial complications that can be traced to certain conditions in your marriage.

In most marriages, there is one spouse who takes the lead in managing the household money. Which spouse ends up in this role usually depends on who has a talent for and interest in financial matters.

While this might sound like a logical arrangement, it can end up causing trouble down the line. Sometimes, the non-managing spouse may pay so little attention to the financial workings of the family that they are kept in the dark.

The spouse who manages the household money ends up having all the financial power and responsibility in the relationship, which isn't fair to either spouse. If the marriage begins to erode, the non-managing spouse will find it much more difficult to spot possible trouble, such as missing money.

In the event of a Virginia divorce, the managing spouse can, if he or she is so inclined, start hiding assets and building a divorce "war chest" without any suspicion from the other spouse.

It's not only Virginia divorce that can cause complications in this situation. If the money-savvy spouse suddenly passes away or becomes incapacitated, the other partner will be left to manage the household money on his or her own with no prior experience.

If you're going through a Virginia divorce and suspect your spouse is hiding assets, a Virginia divorce attorney can help you investigate the situation by assessing financial documents, past salary and bonus information and investment income.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Surviving Scrutiny During a Virginia Child Custody Case

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

If you're a Virginia woman facing a child custody case, you'll probably find that your family, your lifestyle and your parenting habits have come under scrutiny.

Child custody in Virginia puts the best interests of the child before anything else, so both parents need to be closely evaluated to determine their respective strengths and weaknesses.

Fighting for child custody in Virginia can be a very stressful time for a woman. Your ex and his lawyers will be trying their best to make him look like the good guy and to find anything that can make you look like a less competent parent.

False accusations can be infuriating but criticisms that have any ring of truth to them will hurt even more. Having your life scrutinized in this manner can be emotionally exhausting.

Fortunately, you don't have to face this firestorm alone. Your Newport News child custody attorney is a valuable source of information and moral support during this difficult time.

A Newport News child custody attorney has been through many cases similar to yours and knows the ins and out of Virginia child custody litigation. Your attorney can help prepare you for whatever tricks your ex and his attorneys bring to the table.

Be sure to be open and honest with your Newport News child custody attorney. Being prepared for child custody tactics and considerations will help you have more confidence and can help you get a more favorable outcome for your child custody case.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Child Custody Attorney

At Hofheimer/Ferrebee, we understand that the health and happiness of your children is your #1 concern. We will work with you to address any fears and anxieties you may have about your children's future. Our women's-only child custody attorneys will guide you every step of the way to ensure that you achieve the best possible child custody and child support arrangements for you and your children.

To learn more about your Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Raising an Independent Child

Fri, 24 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

If you're going through a Virginia child custody case and have concerns about the parenting style known as helicopter parenting, there are some things you should know.

As parents, it can be difficult to watch your little ones grow up and you may subconsciously try to keep them attached to your side for longer than necessary.

Helicopter parenting can turn into a vicious cycle in which your worry and "hovering" creates an environment where your child can't develop independence. In response, you'll feel the need to pick up the slack and protect him or her even more.

Luckily, there are some ways to break the cycle of helicopter parenting and help you raise an independent child:

Start slowly and give your child simple responsibilities and privileges - as he or she learns to handle these, you can introduce more.
To raise an independent child, you have to know when to step back - it's okay if children make mistakes when learning new skills or when navigating the social scene. You'd be surprised how well children can find solutions to their problems when given the chance.
An independent child gets further faster if he or she possesses good critical thinking skills - encourage this by engaging in logic-building conversations and games with your child, and by purchasing educational toys designed to bolster critical thinking.
Being overprotective won't help you raise an independent child - but that doesn't mean you should be afraid to give your children the loving support they need. Having a close but healthy bond with your child is not helicopter parenting; it's good parenting!

To learn more about helicopter parenting and how it can affect your child custody case, see our article library

Contacting a Virginia Beach Child Custody Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia Beach child custody attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Abandonment and Stepparent Adoption in Virginia

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

In a Virginia stepparent adoption, both birth parents need to give consent in order for the adoption to move forward uncontested. But what if your new husband wants to adopt your child and you don't know the whereabouts of the child's birth father?

It's unfortunate that sometimes a non-custodial parent will simply fall off the radar, cease contacting and supporting his children and not leave any forwarding address. This is known as abandonment.

If you find yourself in an abandonment situation, you and your new spouse might still be able to go through with the Virginia stepparent adoption.

If you can prove that your child's birth father has not had contact with your child for 6 months or more, his parental rights may be terminated on the grounds of abandonment.

Despite this, he will still need to be notified about the potential stepparent adoption. Your Newport News family law attorney can assist you with tracking down your child's father. You might also decide to take on the task yourself or enlist the services of a private investigator.

Abandonment is a painful thing for both you and your child. With reliable representation and patience, you should be well on your way to moving past abandonment, pursuing a Virginia stepparent adoption and building a new family.

Contacting a Newport News Family Law Attorney

Our Newport News family law attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Divorce Rate Rising for Blue-Collar Couples

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

How are the current economic conditions affecting American marriages? A new report seeks to shed some light on money, class and divorce.

The report, entitled "The State of Our Unions," shows that while divorce rates for both the most and least educated couples have fallen, they have risen among moderately educated blue-collar families.

It's believed that financial tensions and the shrinking of the American middle class have had a strong impact on the strength of the blue-collar family.

How does this affect you and your marriage? If you and your spouse are considering a Virginia divorce, it's possible you are going through a similar experience to many other blue-collar couples across the country.

Money struggles are often at the top of the list of complaints in a Virginia divorce, particularly when the family has suffered a recent or sudden financial setback.

A general pessimistic outlook and low morale can also contribute to marital strife and divorce. If the partners feel depressed or anxious about the current economy or a sudden lack of job prospects, that feeling can carry over into their relationship.

Whatever your education level or socioeconomic status, a divorce is a major life event that has long-lasting effects. It's wise to seek the counsel of a Virginia divorce attorney to help you figure out if divorce is the right step for you.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Building a New Family with Virginia Stepparent Adoption

Wed, 22 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

If you're a Virginia woman and your spouse wants to become your children's legal parent through stepparent adoption, you should consider all the joys and challenges of handling a blended family.

When stepparent adoption is complete, you are a legal family in the eyes of the state, but on the home front, building a healthy family takes more than simply filing paperwork.

Most blended families go through challenging periods, particularly early on when the children are adjusting to the new situation. In these cases, it's important to create strategies that foster closeness, trust and respect between everyone involved.

Don't rush things. While you and your partner may be perfect together and want to solidify your family status by pursuing stepparent adoption in Virginia, the children may need a longer time for adjustment. While petitioning for stepparent adoption, work on helping your children and your new husband get along and acclimate to the family routine.

While stepparent adoption won't really change any practical matters at home, older children who have some grasp of the permanent commitment stepparent adoption entails may feel that your spouse is trying to replace their father.

Talk to your children about stepparent adoption by giving them a basic age-appropriate overview and by clearly letting them know that you're there if they want to talk.

Building a new family is hard work that takes time, patience and plenty of love. Stepparent adoption can be one important step in this journey.

Contacting a Newport News Family Law Attorney

Our Newport News family law attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Post Virginia Divorce: Online Dating for Women Over 50

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

If you're a divorced woman over 50 who is ready to enter the dating scene again, the Internet can be a useful tool for you.

If you haven't looked into online match sites, it may be well worth the investigation. Online dating has become increasingly popular over the years and is now considered a common way to meet prospective partners.

One great feature of online dating is that your personality takes center stage. Light chatting can eventually turn to deeper conversations that can help you learn a lot about your prospective date, and you can do it all from the comfort of your own home.

There really is very little pressure when it comes to meeting people online. Just remember to be honest about your age, physical appearance and your marital status. Being a divorced woman over 50 is no big deal in the online dating world and there are plenty of singles who are probably in the same boat.

Good online dating sites use some form of personality profiling to help you get matched with compatible mates. Most online dating sites charge a fee but it's a small investment that can definitely pay off.

As a divorced woman over 50, your life is just beginning. You may add some excitement and possibly find a long-term partnership by exploring online dating.

To learn more about surviving divorce after 50, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

5 Quick Ways to Sabotage Your Financial Future After Divorce in Virginia

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

When you are at a point in the breakdown of your marriage that seeking a divorce in Virginia seems a likely or inevitable solution, you will need to prepare yourself for all of the emotional and logistical challenges that will follow. Just as important, you need to prepare yourself for the financial impact that ending a marriage will have on you and your family.

As you head into the divorce process, your actions-or lack-thereof-will impact your financial security and future. With that in mind, we offer a look at 5 common financial blunders you can make before or during a divorce in Virginia:

Attempt to save money with a do-it-yourself Virginia divorce and forgo any professional input from a Newport News divorce lawyer or any other divorce professional;
Tell your husband you want a divorce before taking the time to gather important financial records and discussing your situation with an attorney and financial advisor;
Act as the "nice guy" and let your husband call all the shots about who should get what during the course of the division of property;
Neglect to carefully assess all forms of marital property (his collection of classic cars, his start-up business financed by marital funds, etc.); and
Fail to take control of your own financial matters and don't fully investigate your assets, debts, investments and other holdings.

All of these common financial blunders during divorce can best be avoided with careful planning, taking a proactive approach to your divorce and aligning yourself with a divorce team that will act as your advocate throughout the proceedings.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Lawyer for Women

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Newport News divorce lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Seeking Professional Advice to Protect Your Finances After Divorce

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

As you prepare for a divorce in Virginia, give careful consideration to whom you want to work with and whether you should seek professional guidance at this time. Some women, as they prepare for a Virginia divorce may decide that they will try to save money by forgoing professional advice and opt instead for a do-it-yourself divorce in Virginia.

While this does work for some couples and is certainly cheaper than hiring a professional Newport News divorce lawyer, the do-it-yourself divorce method is one that comes with certain risks and drawbacks.

One thing to consider is how you can best protect your financial future and long-term monetary outlook as you proceed with your divorce. For women who have complicated division of property issues, Virginia spousal support and Virginia child custody and child support concerns, a do-it-yourself divorce may actually be more costly in the long run. This is because you will not have a professional advocate on your side who can help you to understand how to negotiate for a fair settlement.

Another important professional that you may consider consulting with is a financial planner or a financial adviser. Perhaps look for someone who specializes in helping women who are going through a divorce or have recently separated or divorced in Virginia. Speaking with a professional financial adviser may help you to get a better understanding of where you are right now and what you can do to protect your financial security well into the future.

Remember that if you choose to work with a Newport News divorce lawyer, you should be very cognizant of how you use this particular resource. Your lawyer should not be looked at as your financial adviser or therapist. While your attorney is your advocate, it is not cost-effective-or a good use of your attorney's time-to ask about how you should invest your money and the like.

By knowing some of the common financial blunders during divorce you can start to make a careful plan about your own divorce team, should you choose to hire one, and how to proceed with your divorce in a way that will protect your financial future.

Contacting a Newport News Divorce Lawyer for Women

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages, and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Newport News divorce lawyer at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Relating to Your Ex Following an After-50 Divorce

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

If you're over 50, you might find it a bit easier to maintain an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse. In general, divorces that happen at this age tend to be less bitter and more collaborative, conditions which may help the parties to remain on good terms post-divorce.

When we're older, we are more emotionally mature and able to put things in perspective. We probably don't want to hold on to the drama that may have been justified in the relationships of our youth.

Many after 50 divorces happen because the couple simply grows apart. The parties want to move on from the relationship and start a new life on their own or with new partners. Also, couples in after 50 divorces usually do not have young children, so the explosive issue of Virginia child custody doesn't need to surface.

If you want to maintain an amicable relationship with your ex-husband, you should take steps to make your wishes known. Let him know, through words and actions that you want keep things on good terms.

Of course, there are cases where maintaining an amicable relationship with your ex isn't possible or advisable, such as in cases of abuse. In another scenario, one ex-partner may have been more affected by the divorce and the events leading up to it than the other, and will not be willing or able to maintain an amicable relationship.

Every Virginia divorce is as unique as the individuals involved and the ability to maintain an amicable relationship with your ex will depend on many factors.

For more about surviving divorce after 50, please visit our article library.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

3 Tips for Handling Holiday Gift Giving After a Virginia Divorce

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

As a divorced parent, you are presented with special challenges every day that are unique to your having gone through a divorce in Virginia and the resultant division of the familial unit. This reality can seem amplified during the holidays, a time of year in which so much focus is put on family and "togetherness."

One area that is wrought with potential emotional landmines-regardless of who has custody of the children or is responsible for paying Virginia child support-is gift giving. While the urge may be there to one-up your ex-husband and take the cake on the gift giving for this year, remember that like all things related to post-divorce life, this should be about what is in your child's best interests.

Below are 3 tips on how to handle holiday gift giving for your children after a Virginia divorce:

Don't be competitive - As previously noted, the temptation may be palpable to trump your ex's gifts by showering the kids with an armload of expensive wireless gadgets, a shiny new bike and an adorable Lab puppy. But trying to out-do your ex-husband will only turn the holidays into a competition between the adults, instead of a time to celebrate your children and developing healthy new traditions together.
Set a budget - To avoid inadvertent imbalances in gift-giving and unnecessary strain on your pocketbooks, set a realistic total dollar amount for each child.
Compare lists, but don't divulge to the kids - In order to prevent doubling up on your children's gifts (and the disappointment and frustration that would accompany such a thing), compare gift lists with your husband. You can do this by phone, email, fax, letter or in person; whichever makes you most comfortable. Once you have the info, be sure to keep your lips zipped and don't spoil the fun for your kids.

Divorced mothers face many challenges on a year-round basis, including securing adequate Virginia child support and suitable Virginia child custody arrangements. Working with a Newport News child custody attorney may help you to alleviate some of the stress associated with these concerns.

Contacting a Newport News Child Custody Attorney

A Newport News child custody attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children, and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a complimentary copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Community Services can Help Ease Financial Burden after Divorce

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

In the aftermath of your Virginia divorce, you may face some new financial issues. Every divorce is different and some women have to deal with more financial difficulties than others.

You may suddenly find yourself noticing just how much the day-to-day necessities cost and you may even have trouble meeting your family's needs and saving money. If you are in this situation after a Virginia divorce, you should consider taking advantage of community services for lower-income families.

Community services exist to help keep your family healthy and happy while you rebuild your life. Most of the time, community services such as these have an income limit you'll need to meet but you may be surprised to find that you qualify.

Find out if your community offers services such as:

food banks;
free school breakfast for kids;
assistance with heating costs; and
community clothes closets (for work and school clothing).

Some women find it emotionally difficult to seek out community services as a way of saving money after a Virginia divorce because it feels likes charity, something most of us were raised to avoid. If you‘re genuinely in need, there's nothing shameful about seeking help for yourself and your children. Don't allow temporary problems to affect your self-esteem; instead, focus on improving your future.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. At Hofheimer/Ferrebee we are committed to providing you with the experience and compassion you deserve and the successful results you need to move on with your life. Request a FREE copy of our divorce guide for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Software to Help You Take Control of Your Budget after Divorce

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Managing your budget is an important part of gaining financial independence after a Virginia divorce.

For successful budgeting after a Virginia divorce, it helps to see exactly where your money is going each month. The best way to do this is with a visual aid like a budget spreadsheet. Luckily, there are resources like personal financial software that can make it a snap to budget after your Virginia divorce. These programs are designed to take the guesswork out of managing your money.

It's true that you can create your own budget spreadsheets using most word processing programs, but a program that's made specifically for budgeting and family money management makes the whole process much easier and more pleasant.

Personal financial software usually offers a variety of features; you can use whichever ones suit your needs. For example, some help you pay your bills online and keep track of your transactions. Most of these programs are fully customizable to fit your preferences and they are generally quite easy to use after a basic tutorial and some practice.

As with any product, do some comparison shopping before settling on a personal financial software program. Get one only if it has the features you need and plan to use. Also, be aware that there are basic budgeting tools that can be found online. While these tools are not fancy, most are available for free and can get you started on the road to saving money after divorce

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Resources to Help Kids Deal with Your Virginia Divorce

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Your Virginia divorce can be a scary, confusing experience for your child. As a parent, you will share in your child's pain and want to do everything possible to make sure he or she is comforted and supported during this difficult time.

There are many resources at your local bookstore that can help your children grasp the essential facts of divorce and help them feel better about the changes happening in their lives.

Here is a small sampling of what's available:

Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce The Sandcastles Way -by M. Gary Neuman, this book covers a lot of ground with step-by-step instructions and activities for handling the sensitive issues surrounding divorce and its aftermath.
Two Homes - by Claire Masurel, this book explains in a simple, comforting way that kids can enjoy sharing time at both parents' homes after divorce.
I Don't Want To Talk About It - by Jeanie Franz Ransom, this title helps kids better understand the emotions they might be feeling about their parents' divorce.
Rope Burn - by Jan Siebold, this is a smart and poignant look into the life of a teenage boy experiencing his parents' breakup as he finds his own independence.
Dinosaurs Divorce - by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown, this is an excellent book that addresses a child's questions and fears about divorce. It reinforces the message that divorce is not the child's fault, a fact any kid with divorcing parents needs to hear again and again.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

At this vulnerable time, it's critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case, but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

When Emotional Adultery During Deployment Leads to Military Divorce

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

As a military spouse, your marriage is susceptible to all the stresses of a civilian marriage, plus some special challenges. The deployment of a spouse is one of these challenges.

When your spouse is deployed overseas, you may feel lonely and depressed, especially if you're not surrounded by a close support network of friends, family or other military spouses. You may also feel anxious for your spouse's safety and overwhelmed by the responsibility of handling all the household tasks alone.

These conditions can lead to a state of emotional vulnerability that might make you more susceptible to emotional adultery during your spouse's deployment.

Emotional adultery occurs when a person develops intimate feelings for someone other than their spouse. Emotional adultery usually starts rather innocently as a friendship or passing flirtation, but then develops into a deeper relationship between the parties, in which they spend time engaging in many of the emotional bonding activities normally shared by couples.

While we cannot control our emotions, we can control what actions we take in response to them. Emotional adultery often does lead to physical adultery but this does not always have to be the case.

If during your spouse's deployment, you find yourself having intense feelings for someone else and feel that it could be emotional adultery, take a step back and ask yourself: Are you otherwise happy in your marriage? Is this new relationship worth risking a divorce?

In some cases, ending an emotional affair can be quite painful. You'll find that seeking help from caring and supportive sources will help you through the process.

In other cases, the emotional adultery may be a symptom of a larger, more permanent breakdown in your marriage. If this is the case and you are considering a military divorce, be sure to consult with a Virginia divorce attorney who understands the special considerations of a divorce involving a military couple.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The decision to file for divorce usually comes at the end of a long and painful journey. In addition to the emotional turmoil involved, there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Concerns about children, mortgages and even just paying the bills or buying groceries can easily become overwhelming.

A Virginia divorce attorney at Hofheimer/Ferrebee can examine the specifics of your case to help you decide how much support to ask for, what child custody arrangement will work best for you and your children and how to fairly divide your marital assets. Request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

Finding a Financial Advisor After a Virginia Divorce

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Financial independence after a Virginia divorce is incredibly important. Not only do you need to make a clean financial break from your ex-husband, but it is also important to consider your finances differently now that you probably have less household income.

A good reason to hire a financial advisor is if you are looking to invest your money. A financial advisor can also give you advice about managing your budget, but is trained to be knowledgeable about the financial marketplace and is therefore a good resource for investing. Some financial advisors are affiliated with a particular bank or investment fund. Others are independent.

Ask for a referral for a financial advisor from your boss, a financially successful friend or your attorney. Find out from them how long they've worked with their advisor and how often they meet. Also try to find out if their advisor provides written plans and how often the advisor calls them.

If you don't get a personal referral, there are referral service organizations which allow you to search for advisors by your zip code, including:

The Financial Planning Association;
National Association of Personal Financial Advisors; and
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards.

Once you've gotten a few key prospects, you'll want to schedule appointments to find the advisor who will be the best match for you. While financial independence after a Virginia divorce is a big step toward your brand new life, you can also get your financial future off to the best possible start by working with a Virginia Beach divorce attorney throughout your entire divorce proceedings.

Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you'll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and ensuring that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.

Discussing Your Anger After Your Virginia Divorce

Mon, 06 Dec 2010 08:00:00 EST

Anger is a powerful emotion, and if you are going through a divorce, most likely you have experienced plenty of it. Feeling angry about your Virginia divorce or at your ex-husband is perfectly normal and is to be expected.

Think of anger after divorce as a phase that you need to go through in order to come out on the other side. It is incredibly therapeutic to vent; to talk about what you're feeling with a close friend, a family member or even a therapist. Let yourself get the feelings out. Don't hold anything bottled up inside, or it may just bubble up and explode later.

At first, when you vent, you may not want any feedback from the person with whom you're talking. Often, it is helpful to just talk about your Virginia divorce without expecting any response. Let your friend, family member or counselor know that. Tell them that you're not looking for advice, you just need to be heard. It's nice to have a sympathetic listener.

As you begin to process your anger more, it might be helpful to get advice from your listeners. Perhaps they have coping strategies to offer, or suggestions of activities to get involved in.

Finally, you may find the anger and tension you have been feeling is not quite so overwhelming. By this point, you've hopefully been able to let go of most of your anger after your Virginia divorce. That's not to say angry emotions won't come back in the future, but if they do, you will know how to let them go.

Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.