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Hofheimer/Ferrebee P.C. - (757) 425-5200

Hofheimer/Ferrebee P.C.

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  • Virginia Beach
  • 1060 Laskin Road Suite 12B
    Virginia Beach, VA 23451
  • Phone: (757) 425-5200
  • Fax: (757) 425-6100
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  • Newport News
  • 11815 Fountain Way
    Newport News, VA 23606
  • Phone: 757-425-5200
  • Fax: 757-425-6100
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  • Chesapeake
  • 638 Independence Parkway, Suite 240
    Chesapeake, VA 23320
  • Phone: (757) 425-5200
  • Fax: (757) 425-6100
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For Women In Virginia: Coping With The Fallout Of Your Husband’s Affair (Part A)

Charles Hofheimer, Attorney
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A tough, no nonsense divorce and custody lawyer for women only who reside in Virginia Beach and Newport News.
There are few things more upsetting to a woman than finding out her husband had an affair. While adultery is a common occurrence and is played out every day in the media, it's very different when it hits closer to home.

Your Feelings About Your Husband's Affair

If you're a Virginia woman and you recently discovered that your husband had an affair, your emotions might feel overwhelming.

You might be experiencing:

  • Shock - it's common to feel shocked by the discovery of your husband's affair. Even if you suspected it all along, the reality of the situation can hit hard.
  • Anger - many women don't realize just how much anger they're capable of feeling until they find out their husband had an affair. Adultery threatens the stability of your home and family, which are things most women treasure above anything else. It's normal to feel sexually possessive about your husband and to feel angry with the woman with whom he had the affair.
  • Shame - you may feel ashamed that your husband was able to deceive you, particularly if the adultery was ongoing. You may also feel ashamed if you realize that someone in your family, neighborhood or circle of friends knew of or suspected that your husband had an affair.
  • Self-doubt - when you find out your husband had an affair, you might immediately begin to question yourself. Would the adultery have happened if you were more attentive, in better shape or perhaps less busy? This line of self-criticism can continue until you've blamed yourself for your husband's mistake.

In some cases, you can feel physical symptoms in reaction to the news that your husband has an affair. These are similar to the usual symptoms of extreme emotional stress and may include loss of appetite, sleep disturbances and stomach problems.

Discovering your husband's adultery is an incredibly difficult experience but it isn't the end of your life. Despite all your tumultuous feelings, you need to focus on your options and
decide how you want to proceed.

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-- 20 guidelines for "separation under the same roof"

-- 13 critical factors used to determine spousal support

-- 3 types of property classification recognized by Virginia courts

-- 10 factors your judge must consider in a contested custody case

-- a formula to determine your percentage share of his retirement benefits

-- 38 Financial Records you should be aware of

-- 20 steps to prepare for divorce

-- 7 stages of divorce

-- 40 age-appropriate books about divorce for children

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