Forgive and Forget or Just Forget After Your Virginia Divorce? (Part A)

Divorce can be one of the most painful events in a woman's life. After your Virginia divorce, it's not unusual to feel uprooted and off kilter; full of mixed emotions and unsure how to address them all. Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, you might find yourself struggling with questions about forgiveness.

Holding a grudge against your ex-spouse is understandable, particularly if the details of your Virginia divorce included some type of betrayal, for example:

• Adultery - Being cheated on by your spouse can create an incredible amount of emotional angst and vengeful feelings. It's one of the oldest and surest triggers of a long-standing grudge.
• Financial dishonesty - If your ex lied about money, or stole money from you, you're not only dealing with the memory of his betrayal but also with the financial consequences of it, which can follow you long after your Virginia divorce.
• Bad behavior during the divorce - If your husband used lies, manipulation, or intimidation to get his way during the divorce, or if he created a general atmosphere of contention and acrimony during the proceedings, the memory of that bad experience can live on long after the divorce is final.

The Pressure to Forgive After a Virginia Divorce

There's a number of reasons why you might hold anger toward your ex after your Virginia divorce, but one thing is almost certain; you'll have a chorus of friends, family, co-workers and clergy all repeating the same mantra: "forgive."

Sure, while the divorce is still new, your close friends might encourage you to vent, but as your divorce drifts further into the past, you're generally expected to "let things go." The trouble with that advice is that forgiveness can be hard to define, and even harder to force.

Rather than pressuring yourself to forgive your ex-husband, it's more productive to focus on your overall post-divorce emotional health, and to examine the concept of forgiveness from various perspectives. You never know, you might find some new ideas that can help you along the way.

Continue to Next Page >>

What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce is full of thoughtful steps and practical tips that will help you during your separation, divorce, or child custody case including:

-- 20 guidelines for "separation under the same roof"

-- 13 critical factors used to determine spousal support

-- 3 types of property classification recognized by Virginia courts

-- 10 factors your judge must consider in a contested custody case

-- a formula to determine your percentage share of his retirement benefits

-- 38 Financial Records you should be aware of

-- 20 steps to prepare for divorce

-- 7 stages of divorce

-- 40 age-appropriate books about divorce for children

Get Your FREE Copy Today!

Charles R. Hofheimer View lawyer's profile

Charles R. Hofheimer   visit superlawyers.com