Escaping an Abusive Relationship (Part A)

Divorce can be a frightening concept, no matter how terrible the state of your marriage, but a marriage filled with abuse brings with it unique concerns and dangers. If you feel that you are in an abusive relationship with your husband, it is crucial that you seek help immediately. Many women in your position may attempt to overlook, make excuses for, or deny to themselves the seriousness of their husband's intolerable and illegal behavior.

Abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, or sexual; you should never have to endure any of these, especially from your husband. For the sake of your health, your sanity, and your children (should you have them) you must leave your abusive husband. The first step to escaping an abusive relationship is a simple one; recognize that you are in an abusive relationship.

How to Recognize Yourself in an Abusive Relationship

Though it is common to feel an instinct to deny the abuse inflicted upon you, this is an instinct that must be overcome. The clearest sign of an abusive relationship is fear of your husband. To say that you have not been abused, even as you live in fear of the moment your husband returns to the house every day, is a contradiction. Being honest with yourself about the origins of your fear is crucial in accepting the reality of your situation, and making lasting steps to change it.

Some other signs of an abusive relationship include:

• You consciously avoid certain topics for fear of angering your husband
• You feel you cannot do anything right by your husband
• You begin to believe you deserve to be hurt or mistreated
• You wonder if you are the one who is mistaken in the relationship
• You feel emotionally numb
• You feel helpless
• Your husband criticizes you constantly
• Your husband ignores or puts down your opinions and achievements
• He blames you for the abuse
• He acts excessively jealous, controlling, or possessive
• You are embarrassed to have friends or family see the way he treats you

If you experience any of these behaviors, you need to seek help. Many local and national agencies offer protection and support, and an experienced Virginia divorce attorney can advise you of the best route to take in securing your safety and moving towards divorce.

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