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How to Tell Your Husband You Want a Divorce (Part A)

There comes a point in some marriages where conflicts cannot be resolved and differences cannot be worked out. Approximately 40-50% of divorces in the United States end in divorce, so this problem is not uncommon. This fact doesn't make it any easier when it affects you and your marriage. If you have recently been considering ending your marriage, one of the first things you may think about is how to tell your husband you want a divorce.

It is important to speak with an experienced Virginia divorce attorney before telling your husband that you want a divorce. Your Virginia divorce lawyer will explain the divorce process and answer any questions you may have regarding the end of your marriage. This can help you answer any initial questions your spouse might have when asking about how a divorce will affect your lives.

Choosing a Safe Location

It is important to be sensitive to your husband's feelings while ensuring your safety in the event he does not take the news well. A public place that offers some privacy (such as a restaurant, coffee house, or public park) may encourage your husband to react to the news in a non-threatening and rational manner. Telling him the news during the day, preferably in the morning, will give him the entire day to absorb everything you have said.

Bringing Up the Subject of a Virginia Divorce

When telling your husband that you want a divorce, make sure your reasons are general, simple and to the point. If you provide specific examples, such as a long-standing point of contention or particular events, it can lead to a fight and take you off-topic.

When explaining your reasons, be aware of what issues might "push your husband's buttons." Using "I" statements rather than "you" statements shows that you are not placing the blame on your husband. Instead, you are relaying your experiences and your feelings. For example, say; "I feel that we don't communicate anymore," instead of; "You never talk to me."

During the conversation, behave with confidence. You should look your spouse in the eye and speak calmly. If you feel tense, take several deep breaths in order to relax. Telling your husband you want a divorce is almost guaranteed to be stressful, but by preparing yourself beforehand, you can try to keep the situation as calm as possible.

Before you take the first step in telling your husband you want a divorce, it would be in your best interest to consult with an experienced divorce attorney who understands women's issues in Virginia. It is important that the Virginia divorce lawyer you choose has handled cases similar to yours and that they understand family law.

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