4 Missteps That Can Damage Your Relationship with Your Children After Virginia Divorce (Part A)

Your children are the most important people in your life, and their safety and happiness are foremost in your mind during your Virginia divorce. Many parents harbor deep concerns about the way their divorce may affect their children in the long term.

Your children are dependent on you for many things, and that includes the love, support and guidance they need during your Virginia divorce.  Sometimes, the stress and upheaval that comes with divorce and the circumstances surrounding it can cause a parent to act in ways that inadvertently harm the parent-child relationship. 

When you're parenting after divorce, you might find yourself: 

• hindering communication/ engaging in ineffective communication;
• blaming and badmouthing the other parent;
• getting involved in a new relationship too soon after the divorce; and
• becoming unavailable to your children. 

Fortunately, the bond between parent and child is strong, and can almost always be repaired by the parent honestly evaluating the situation and changing counterproductive behaviors.

What can harm the parent-child relationship after a Virginia divorce?

1. Poor Communication - communication can be a challenge when you're parenting after divorce. It's never easy to see your child sad and upset, so you may avoid conversations that would bring out difficult feelings. Also, some parents talk at rather than to a child, and don't give the child time and opportunity to voice their feelings. This is a common parenting misstep that can create family troubles.

If you want to encourage your kids to talk about the Virginia divorce, let it happen naturally. Let them know you're there to listen, give them opportunities to talk, but don't push.  You can help the conversation along by validating the child's feelings along the way.

If you need tips and advice on communication and parenting after divorce, you can find many valuable resources at your local library or bookstore, or on the Internet.

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