Parenting after Divorce in Virginia: Mistakes to Avoid

Divorce is difficult enough among spouses without children. Parenting after divorce can be confusing and difficult, and it can be hard to know what to say and how to act. As a Virginia divorce lawyer will explain, many parents unknowingly make mistakes during the process, but you can learn to avoid parenting mistakes.

First of all, never force your children to make difficult decisions or choose sides. Remember, even though you and your spouse are divorced, you both will always be your children’s parents. Be sure to remind your children of that and do not put them through more stress than they are already feeling.

One of the most common mistakes is confiding too much to your children. Many parents do this in order to gain sympathy or support from their children, but this is a big no-no. Children do not need to know intimate adult details. If you must share them with someone, confide in an adult friend or therapist.

Talking negatively about the other parent is also common after a divorce. Although it can be very tempting, these disrespectful comments and putdowns can be damaging to children. They can make children feel confused, sad and guilty, because children typically do not want to take sides or have anyone say nasty things about their mother or father.

Put Your Differences Aside; Children Need Both Parents

Many parents also make the mistake of keeping the other parent away from the children. It is important to remember that children need both parents, and it is not fair to lie or do any unjustifiable actions that will cause your children to lose contact with the other parent. Many parents do this for their own selfish reasons. However, despite any ill feelings from your Virginia divorce, it is important to continue allowing the other parent to visit the children and maintain a bond, connection and loving parent-child relationship.

Although very tempting, many parents do things to get back at their former spouse. They may lie to the other spouse, move out of the country or bar them from the children’s important life events just to spite them. Your children need to have their mother or father in their lives, so no matter how nasty the divorce, try to be civil for the sake of the children.

Using children as spies and messengers is also one of the biggest mistakes. Children should be allowed to be children and should not be caught in the middle of your messy divorce. Do not ask your children to provide you with details about the other spouse’s home life or new relationships. These details are none of your business.

Manipulating your children is never allowed. Do not lie to them or tell them things just to gain their sympathy. Remember that you are the adult, and you need to act like a responsible parent.

Navigating the waters of parenting after divorce can be very tricky and stressful. If you want to avoid parenting mistakes, a consultation with an experienced Virginia divorce lawyer or family law attorney may be of great help.

Contact a Virginia Divorce Lawyer for Women

Throughout your divorce proceedings, you’ll naturally have a lot of questions specific to your circumstances. Get your questions answered by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 1-757-425-5200.

The Virginia divorce lawyers at Hofheimer Family Law Firm are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life.