4 Missteps That Can Damage Your Relationship with Your Children After Virginia Divorce (Part B)
2. Rushing New Love - jumping into a new relationship is another common parenting misstep after a Virginia divorce. Meeting new people can be part of the healing process following divorce, but if you rush into anything serious, your relationship with your children may be affected.
Your children may be upset that your new partner is trying to take their father's place. Or, they might get attached to your new man only to have your relationship with him not work out. It's best to take things slowly. Introduce your new partner to your children gradually, with no pressure.
3. Ex Bashing - parenting after divorce can come with a lot of baggage. Your Virginia divorce may have been a difficult one, and your relationship with your ex may not be the best. Sometimes, you may find yourself criticizing or badmouthing him in front of the children.
This behavior is unfair and damaging to your children, because it forces them to choose sides and shift their loyalty from one parent to the other. It can also cause them to feel belittled themselves because they are, of course, a product of the person you're putting down. This is why ex bashing is one of the most troubling parenting missteps you can make after your Virginia divorce.
If you have something to say to your ex, say it to him directly, provided it's an issue that can actually be resolved. You can also vent to a trusted friend, adult family member or counselor.
4. Being Unavailable - spending time with your children can be a challenge when you're parenting after a Virginia divorce. Changes in your economic situation may force you to put in more hours at work. You may also be stressed and in need of more time alone, or you may be keeping busy on purpose in order to hold your own difficult feelings at bay.
When you're unavailable to your children following your Virginia divorce, they're likely to feel scared, alienated and angry. This is especially true if their father no longer plays a large role in their lives.
This is one parenting misstep that can take some strategic rescheduling to remedy, but it isn't impossible. When you set aside quality time for your children, they'll be more likely to share their feelings with you and they'll know you're there for them during the hard times.
Contacting a Virginia Divorce Attorney
Our Virginia divorce attorneys care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our divorce book for women in Virginia, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar - 757-425-5200.