To Text or Not to Text the Ex: Guidelines on Post-Divorce Texting

When you’re going through a divorce in Virginia, you have to learn new ways of doing things. One of these is communicating with your ex about issues that affect both of you, such as your children’s schedule and other custody issues. 

Many newly separated or divorced women question whether texting is an appropriate method to exchange information in Virginia Beach. A divorce lawyer can advise you of the best ways to communicate with your ex, including texting. 

General Guidelines on Texting Your Ex 

Texting has become a primary way to communicate easily with others. It’s convenient, non-intrusive and provides a record of back-and-forth negotiations, whether you are setting up a time and place to meet with the girlfriends or discussing pick-up and drop-off times with your ex. 

Issues arise when dealing with a former or soon-to-be former spouse, if the information deals with a “hot-button” topic between the 2 of you. People often cross the line when texting because this form of communication is more detached than speaking in person. 

The distance may make you feel safe and even emboldened to release some of your pent-up anger. However, this isn’t a good rule to follow. 

A Virginia Beach divorce lawyer will tell you there are some general guidelines on texting your ex that you should adhere to as your divorce in Virginia proceeds. This will serve you well even after the divorce is finalized. 

• Keep the messages short – You want to be straightforward and specific. Use texting to provide pertinent and factual information that your ex needs, such as changes in the kids' activities.
• Keep your manners intact – Think of texting your ex like communicating to an acquaintance or distant colleague. Be polite and resist the urge to throw out criticisms or judgments. You should be able to read your text messages to a judge without the content being called into question.
• Keep texting to a minimum – Texting is a great way to give your ex information without having to speak to him, so don’t abuse it. If you are sending texts on every little thing, he may become annoyed and start ignoring your messages. You also should keep some of the more sensitive issues, like custody, for in-person discussions. 

Find a Virginia Beach Divorce Lawyer

There are a lot of issues that need to be worked out as you divorce in Virginia. Texting is just one of them that can cause controversy and possibly hurt your future when dealing with your ex. You need to find a Virginia Beach divorce lawyer who understands the specifics of your case and can guide you through the process to help protect the best interests of you and your family.

The Virginia Beach divorce attorneys at Hofheimer Family Law Firm have been representing Virginia women in their divorce proceedings for years. They will fight for your rights in child custody and asset disputes. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 1-757-425-5200.