Leaving a Sex Addict or Drug Addict in a Mutually Beneficial Way (Part B)

Being in a relationship with a drug or sex addict can be anywhere from difficult to impossible. You may feel that you cannot stay any longer, but that you cannot leave either. The latter is a fallacy that can be hard to overcome.

Steps to Leaving a Sex Addict or Drug Addict

One of the main difficulties people often encounter when leaving an addict is guilt. It is not a good feeling to leave someone who is not completely well, including someone who has an addiction. You may feel that you are kicking him while he is down, even as you know how necessary it is that you leave.

A careful and thoughtful approach to ending the relationship may help to alleviate some of the guilt and anxiety associated with leaving an addict. Listed below are a few steps to ease the process for both you and your husband.

Discuss your feeling about the addiction with your husband. This gives him a chance to change his ways or at least come to terms with what is coming. This is much preferred to a sudden ending, which could have disastrous results.

• Establish a distance. Begin to make yourself less available, showing that you no longer support his self-destructive behavior.
• Stay firm. Feelings of guilt may creep in at any time. Remember you must do what is best for you (and your children) and that by not working to control his addiction, your husband has already chosen addiction over your relationship.
• Continue your support from a distance. Being there for someone does not always require being physically or romantically involved with them. Your husband may still need your support in overcoming addiction after your divorce. Providing this support may be beneficial for the both of you.
• Join a support group. There are usually local support groups for spouses and family members of addicts that can help you during this difficult time.

Making the conscious decision to move towards a Virginia divorce is a step in and of itself. Next, it would be in your best interest to consult with an experienced Virginia divorce attorney. It is important that the Virginia divorce lawyer you choose has handled cases similar to yours and that they understand sex and drug addiction and how this addiction affects relationships.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience and legal expertise to help you focus on your goals for your future and your family. Contact us today at (757) 425-5200 for more information about our monthly seminars, or to schedule a one-hour legal consultation with one of our Virginia women's divorce attorneys.

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