The four divorce models and which runway will you walk. Now you're looking at me, asking "What are you talking about?" Well, what I'm talking about are the four models of sort of how you can process or go through a divorce. There's a negotiation model, the mediation model, the collaboration model and the litigation model. Now most people go through the negotiation model where either they negotiate with their husband or they have an attorney negotiate on their behalf and the product of that negotiation would be a separation agreement. Now really when you look at negotiation, mediation and collaboration they're all three types of negotiation basically but they have different processes that they go through. If you go through mediation, usually you and your husband will meet with an objective mediator who's not on either side, whose efforts are to help get through negotiating with each other. Now if it's a really good mediator, they're not going to tell you what to do. They're going to help you through the process but basically you have to fend for yourself in mediation unless you have your attorney attending the mediation with you and presumably your husband would do likewise if he has an attorney and I would tell anybody who's going through negotiation, mediation or collaboration to always meet with an attorney first and sort of get an outline and the parameters that you would settle for with all the issues that would be impacted in your divorce. So, the next model after mediation is collaboration where it can be done either with attorneys only or it can be done with full teams involving attorneys, coaches for the husband and the wife showing them how to communicate with one another in a way that will be beneficial for the children. You may have a child specialist involved in the collaborative model. You may have a financial specialist involved in the model and basically the thought process is you don't go to court. You agree that there will be a full disclosure of all assets and all factors that would affect you obtaining a divorce and then you work through over a process of several meetings, you work through an agreement that works for your family and it's highly tailored to the special needs of your family. And then the next process after negotiation, mediation and collaboration is litigation. Obviously, well not obviously, but it is the most expensive ultimate way to get a divorce. You want somebody who's trial tested and somebody who's comfortable in the courtroom and so many people shy away from litigation as you rightfully should unless there are just some issues that can't be resolved and often times what you can do in litigation model is agree how you're going to resolve custody and child support and maybe leave the issue of spousal support, which you can't come to an agreement to that that be the only issue that's litigated. That would be a lot less expensive frankly then saying it's all or nothing. We either agree on everything or we litigate everything. That's not a good outcome because it's going to be expensive and take a lot of time. So, I don't know which runway that you're going to walk down but I can assure you that the best way to walk down them is with help. My daddy used to say, "If you're going walk through a mine field, follow someone" and I would strongly urge you to meet with a knowledgeable attorney so that they can walk you through these different models and assist you in accomplishing your goal of having a divorce that allows you to go forward to your own future, to your own destiny with the least difficulties in your life. So, thank you very much. I hope this has been helpful.

Charles R. Hofheimer