
Am I Separated or When am I separated in Virginia?
Evidence on proving Adultery
What is Desertion?
How long does it take for a divorce in Virginia
Filing for Fault or No-Fault Divorce in Virginia
Tetimony of Battered Mom's
Types of Custody
Types of Physical CustodyCo-habitation agreements can help make a break-up go more smoothly. It can also save you money. Litigation can be expensive, and having a legal document that lays out your mutual decisions can be a big help.

If you remarry before you turn 55, you'll no longer be eligible to receive SBP benefits. If your remarriage occurs after you turn 55, your survivor benefits will not be terminated. This is an important bit of information if you're contemplating remarriage around this time of life.
If you're a military woman seeking a divorce, you should be aware of custody issues unique to military life and how they may affect your Virginia child custody case.
If you clicked on this link, it means you have a question about the ten-year myth. One of the most callous tricks we've heard is when a husband tries to tell his wife you're not entitled to any of my military pension because we haven't been married for ten years. That's just not true. The truth of the matter is you may be entitled to a portion of your husband's military retirement regardless of how long you've been married. What the ten-year rule means is that the United States Government will pay a military spouse directly her share of the marital portion of his retirement if they've been married for more than ten years of his active-duty service. So just because you may have only been married five years, six years, seven years, doesn't mean you're not entitled to a portion of your husband's retirement. It just means that the United States Government will not pay you directly and that your husband, your now ex-husband, will have to pay you directly. If you're interested in learning more about this topic or any other military-related benefit that you may be entitled to, please come to our web site, http://www.militarydivorcebook.com, and order a FREE copy of what every "Virginian Military Wife Needs to Know About Divorce. Thank you.
One of the questions I’m asked frequently about women is whether they can live with their husband, separate and apart in the marital residence as they await the waiting period before they can get divorced and that’s a pretty serious question and generally, in the past, the answer would be no!
But actually, there are cases in Virginia that have permitted living under the same roof while separated to count towards that time period you must live apart before you can get a divorce and to help you determine or to qualify for being able to do that and those courts that permit it, I have in my book written guidelines for separation while living under the same roof and those guidelines and this won't be all of them, but they're clearly obvious ones.
One, don’t sleep in the same bedroom at night, live preferably in different parts of the house. If you cannot share a bathroom, that would be helpful. Don’t fix food for your spouse. Don’t accept him fixing food for you and in other words, you really do have to live separately and apart. You need to have separate phones and that’s not a big deal in this day and time with cell phones, but you truly need to live completely separate and apart and you need to let people know about it.
This is a little extreme, but I have people take out classified ads in the newspaper saying, my husband and I are living separate and apart and that’s kind of like notifying the public. In addition, you can't be sneakily separated, meaning and that’s a good word, sneakily, what I mean by that is, you can't try and impress your neighbors that everything is fine when in fact you're trying to establish that you're living separate and apart.
So you need to let your neighbors know, you need to let people at your church know, you shouldn’t be going to church together. Now what about your children? What about activities with your children? I would say that while you probably shouldn’t do every activity together and most couples don’t anyway, there are certain things that you can do obviously at Christmas time, you can both be present to celebrate the children’s Christmas or birthdays or special holidays, or go to the school counseling meeting. These things you would do whether you were married or divorced. You would still be involved in your children’s lives.
So there’s nothing wrong or impermissible about that, but I probably wouldn’t be giving birthday gifts to each other or Christmas gifts at this point meaning not to your spouse and basically, you should do everything that you can to try and live separate and apart and you should have some objective third parties come to your house every couple of months to see that you really are following through and living separate and apart. They can see that you have one bedroom, your husband has another, that the meals are prepared separately et cetera.
So I hope this was helpful. It’s very important and the court in Virginia Beach for instance even have a special hearing to determine for people who attempt to show that they're living separate and apart. They have a special hearing to establish whether sufficient precautions were taken by a couple to in fact establish that they were living separate and apart under the same roof.
Does It Matter Who Leaves The Home First?
The truth of the matter is, it does matter.The reason it matters is that if you leave without a good reason, you could well be guilty of desertion and we have produced a video tape on desertion that goes into great detail,but the message I want to pass on today is leaving your house without a plan without checking with an attorney could cause you to be in a position where you may not get spousal support because you left or you deserted, you may lose your custody rights to the children as a result of leaving and perhaps leaving the children behind or even if you take the children.
So before you make the decision to leave,you need to talk with an attorney and make sure that there is sufficient evidence or sufficient reasons that are acceptable to the court for your leaving.I hope this helps you.We certainly would be glad to speak with you about it.
Happy Valentine's Day from a Divorce Attorney--Are you Kidding ?
Battered Mothers Custody Conference
Charles R. Hofheimer![]() View lawyer's profile |
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